namelessguy Posted October 30, 2018 Share Posted October 30, 2018 Hi, I need to post this to get peoples opinions who don't know me or the full story. Its been several months since I tried to reach out to my ex. We were engaged, and for reasons related to arguments and break down in communication it ended over an argument. I want to know, how do I over come the fear of reaching out. I did it before but it had only been 1-3 months after breaking up. Since then its been several months now and its been complete NC from both sides. Last time I reached out she didn't respond to me and it was clear she no longer felt the same as I prior to her ignoring the last msg (Even hinting at meeting new people and how we would both just move on) I do miss her and still find myself hurting that she cut me out of her life. I feel like the sadistic part of me wants to reach out again, but i fear the rejection and on top of that i fear learning if she has a new man or she may not even respond in the first instance. I seem to go through a cycle of wanting and feeling strong enough to just do it, to then being completely scared because I know my feelings for her are still strong. what to do? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 30, 2018 Share Posted October 30, 2018 You have to recognize that the relationship ended. You two are not getting back together. Time did not heal this wound. Once you accept that it's over you will stop hoping & then you won't have to reach out. You can reach out again if you like but odds are she won't respond again. She knows it's best to not speak. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted October 30, 2018 Share Posted October 30, 2018 She doesn't want to hear from you, period. You've just got to accept that. It's over. She's done. Stop even thinking about contacting her. It would be crossing boundaries to do so when you know she doesn't want it. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted October 30, 2018 Share Posted October 30, 2018 Let that fear be the reason you don't reach out. Her silence since your last contact is all you need to know. This is over for her, and has been for a while. You would be best to accept that so you can move on, too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author namelessguy Posted October 30, 2018 Author Share Posted October 30, 2018 (edited) Thanks for the responses. Seems like the most rational/logical thing to do. FYI i have and do recognise that its over. It has been over for a long time. But things change in time as do people. I think deep down, I know i'll never really get over her fully. I haven't truly moved on from her in the sense that I haven't met anyone else, but I have achieved quite a lot since the breakup. New career which I am happier about and now opportunities to work all over the world. I will keep pushing on with my own life and will have to just apply lessons here going forward. right? Edited October 30, 2018 by namelessguy Link to post Share on other sites
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