ragegnst Posted October 22, 2018 Share Posted October 22, 2018 (edited) She left a VM something to affect of " Hey its friday I cant even go out without you haunting my life, I think you are a complete ******* I am absolutley pissed off that you have done this to me, I hate you for ruining this for me, **** you" I did some stupid stuff to cause the breakup I realize that now, but I am not sure how I should take this? I am not sure what happened that night as I was home sleeping lol anyone have any thoughts? Edited October 22, 2018 by ragegnst Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted October 22, 2018 Share Posted October 22, 2018 I guess that she saw something which reminded her of you. Best course of action at this point is to block her number so that she can't drunk dial you again. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted October 22, 2018 Share Posted October 22, 2018 Clearly, she was triggered by something. I read your last thread, and she is obviously still very hurt by your online activity. She is still dealing with the blow to her self-esteem and she lashed out by calling you. If you don't wish to hear it, block her number. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mardelis Posted October 22, 2018 Share Posted October 22, 2018 She's still very angry and hurt by your behavior that caused the relationship to fail. You were together a long time, it's going to take a while for her to work through it so when something triggers a memory she responds with an angry outburst. That's all there is to it. Looking back at your prior thread, which I also posted on, it's clear that to this day you still really don't understand the extent to which you violated the boundaries of the relationship and destroyed her trust. Yes, you admit you "did some stupid things" but you still minimize them, just as you probably did with her right up until she broke up with you. You never showed any real remorse, at least not on here, and odds are you responded to her the same way which was probably even more frustrating and hurtful than if you had acknowledged how bad it really was. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ragegnst Posted October 22, 2018 Author Share Posted October 22, 2018 I owned up to it to her, I know the pain I have caused, I just did not want to re-hash it again on here, I am trying to reconcile with her just wondering if this message is a good or bad thing?? I know how bad I effed up believe me Link to post Share on other sites
Mardelis Posted October 22, 2018 Share Posted October 22, 2018 I am trying to reconcile with her just wondering if this message is a good or bad thing?? It's a bad thing. You can tell by the cussing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ragegnst Posted October 22, 2018 Author Share Posted October 22, 2018 not hate but indifference? Link to post Share on other sites
Mardelis Posted October 22, 2018 Share Posted October 22, 2018 not hate but indifference? Anger approaching hatred Link to post Share on other sites
Author ragegnst Posted October 22, 2018 Author Share Posted October 22, 2018 definitely surprised to get that voicemail but I guess a little liquid courage can assist, ah well nothing I can do about it anyhow Link to post Share on other sites
Mardelis Posted October 22, 2018 Share Posted October 22, 2018 Learn from it so you don't repeat it, and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted October 22, 2018 Share Posted October 22, 2018 not hate but indifference? Are you suggesting that perhaps she still cares because she hates you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ragegnst Posted October 22, 2018 Author Share Posted October 22, 2018 she would not bother if emotions were not still involved, I doubt she hates me, but maybe she does, probably will never know Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted October 22, 2018 Share Posted October 22, 2018 she would not bother if emotions were not still involved, I doubt she hates me, but maybe she does, probably will never know Thanks for the explanation. Of course emotions are still involved - they don't turn off overnight. She's still in the grieving stage of anger. She will eventually arrive at indifference, but it may take time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ragegnst Posted October 22, 2018 Author Share Posted October 22, 2018 This was five weeks of NC with the exception of two nothing texts, I was very surprised to hear from her, especially like that. Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted October 22, 2018 Share Posted October 22, 2018 I think the call was a good thing if you're trying to reconcile with her. Link to post Share on other sites
healing light Posted October 23, 2018 Share Posted October 23, 2018 Agreed with bathtub. She's not over you or you wouldn't have received a drunk dial. But obviously she's also not over the betrayal and anger, either. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ragegnst Posted October 23, 2018 Author Share Posted October 23, 2018 good points, but now should I respond ? this was Friday night \ Saturday morning I am torn on what to do? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ragegnst Posted October 23, 2018 Author Share Posted October 23, 2018 and I am trying to reconcile, yes Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted October 23, 2018 Share Posted October 23, 2018 Don't respond. And what indications has she given you that she's open for reconciliation? It seems to me that she's not even considering it. Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted October 23, 2018 Share Posted October 23, 2018 good points, but now should I respond ? this was Friday night \ Saturday morning I am torn on what to do? That's a little tricky because she may think that you're only wanting to reconcile because she called. You'll need to say something like, "I'm glad you called the other night because I've been thinking about you..." Link to post Share on other sites
Author ragegnst Posted October 23, 2018 Author Share Posted October 23, 2018 she has given me none, like I said I thought she had moved her life was amazing and I would never hear from her again. I have given her what she asked for and that is space. We have known each other almost 12 years, I guess that is all I can go on in any effort to try to salvage the mess I created. A female friend of mine keeps telling to text her that I mist and she is beautiful and all that. Those things are true but I am not sure if that is a good idea? Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted October 23, 2018 Share Posted October 23, 2018 she has given me none, like I said I thought she had moved her life was amazing and I would never hear from her again. I have given her what she asked for and that is space. We have known each other almost 12 years, I guess that is all I can go on in any effort to try to salvage the mess I created. A female friend of mine keeps telling to text her that I mist and she is beautiful and all that. Those things are true but I am not sure if that is a good idea? Don't text her. You need to call her. Then you can tell her you've missed her and that she's beautiful. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ragegnst Posted October 23, 2018 Author Share Posted October 23, 2018 been sort of working with a coach, will see what she says and will nut up and call tomorrow night Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted October 23, 2018 Share Posted October 23, 2018 been sort of working with a coach, will see what she says and will nut up and call tomorrow night Keep us posted! Link to post Share on other sites
Author ragegnst Posted October 23, 2018 Author Share Posted October 23, 2018 anyone else thinks that is not such a good idea, I really want to do the right thing, I know she is still in pain and angered Link to post Share on other sites
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