Juneforever Posted March 9, 2018 Share Posted March 9, 2018 Long story short guys.I contacted my ex ( my bad ) during a lonely moment in my current relationship.We are kind of on a break but living together.My ex and i had a six months relationship and it was very intense and romantic ,until i got pregnant...he was not happy at all. He told me i should not keep it because he os not ready...Those days he was really abusive with me verbally making fun of me that i got pregnant...I took of for couple of days to see a good friend of mine out of town...when i got back he wanted sex again and promised we ll have kids one day if i abort now... So. I believe him...he lives me for a week to go in vacation and comes and goes with me at clinic.I abort.Two weeks after he is done with me.I was devastated....he tells me he has bipolar disorder and cannt see a family with me and i deserve better... It has been 3 years and 3 months since then... I think my self of going to counseling as well.I have not talked to him for 2 years...but i got lonely and started texted him every now and then......I invited him for a coffee and he tells me he thinks we ll end up having sex...And that my boyfriend will be upset...I never meant to live the guy i am with for him.There are other reasons why we are on a break right now... I just though t he can listen to me...My fault was telling him i have a rough time right now in my life....And look what he tells me.That if he was my guy and finds out i talk to ex will not forgive me...yes true.But judging me ? He tells me that years a go when i took off for two days he started to loose trust because he thought i wanted to see a another guy and cheat...I was so shocked.I told him that i never thought of cheating.I really loved him....he never mentioned that part when we broke up....This is something new.He told me he is a very onsecure man...he told me he wishes me luck with my relationship...So mad now...why now he tells me those reasons that he thought i wanted someone else.When we broke up he told me i was a great girl just he dod not see a family with me...and that he was bipolar and does not want to hurt me ! Why is he telling me it affected him those two days i took a trip ? He never mentioned when we broke up ...i felt judged...and its not true.I wanted to scream and let it all out about abortion and all the pain...Why did he tell me that now ?? Link to post Share on other sites
MsJayne Posted March 9, 2018 Share Posted March 9, 2018 The guy's an a-hole, you shouldn't have contacted him. That's all there is to it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Juneforever Posted March 9, 2018 Author Share Posted March 9, 2018 I should block him on messenger so i dont see his name every time he logs in.Every time i log in he does and just sits there or he logs back out...just tired of it Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted March 9, 2018 Share Posted March 9, 2018 You're beating a long-dead horse, OP. You have to stop contacting him. He isn't going to make you feel better and you keep yourself from finally moving on every time you try to talk to him. Block him for good. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 9, 2018 Share Posted March 9, 2018 My heavens. What a horrible toxic person. Your EX is just dreadful. He was verbally abusive to you while you were pregnant, left you alone to go on vacation, lied to you & then dumped you. I can't believe you still talk to this jerk but for you to do so behind your current live in BF's back is disgraceful. Newsflash: you can be "on a break" from somebody you live with. Move out from your BF. Learn to stand on your own two feet. Get into therapy to figure out why you put up with such awful treatment & continue to chase such inappropriate men. Build some self esteem. Only when you have achieved some of that should you even consider dating again. Meanwhile stop talking to this EX. There is nothing good for you there. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted March 9, 2018 Share Posted March 9, 2018 How can you have sex right after an abortion? This guy is just blowing smoke and saying anything that comes to his mind as a reason he broke up with you. He is clear that he has no interest in getting back together. You actually dodged a bullet. If I were you I wouldn't contact him again but work on the relationship you have now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Juneforever Posted March 9, 2018 Author Share Posted March 9, 2018 (edited) Yes...i need to work on my relationship.Old ex is very toxic indeed.I thought he might have changed if i have not seen him in 3 years.Theres a reason his children hate him and their mom moved away and they dont want anything to do with him...yes he wanted sex after abortion then thats last time i saw him.He faded out and two weeks did not call or text...i called him and he saidits over and that he might end up lonely.Has bipolar disorder...to be honest i know he would made me suffer if he did not change.he is full of hate himself...i thought he changed but he did not.3 years after and 2 months and he still the same rude person.At times he can be ok ..bipolar disorder...and why he thinks i want to sleep with him or he sure this is what will happen ...we on break me and my guy because he stated he wants to be alone.my current guy says he still loves me though Edited March 9, 2018 by Juneforever Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted March 9, 2018 Share Posted March 9, 2018 I should block him on messenger so i dont see his name every time he logs in.Every time i log in he does and just sits there or he logs back out...just tired of it Why haven't you already blocked him? You need to stop blaming him and get angry with yourself for contacting him and that you still have not blocked him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Juneforever Posted March 9, 2018 Author Share Posted March 9, 2018 Why haven't you already blocked him? You need to stop blaming him and get angry with yourself for contacting him and that you still have not blocked him. He added me...yes.my bad Link to post Share on other sites
anika99 Posted March 9, 2018 Share Posted March 9, 2018 Your ex is a jerk but he is right about one thing, that being that it is totally inappropriate of you to be contacting an ex while you are still living with your current boyfriend. You may think you only had pure and innocent reasons for doing so but what did you want from him exactly? There was never any good reason for looking up an ex when your current relationship is unresolved. I know if I was was going through a rough patch in my relationship and my bf decided to look up an exgf I would be furious. Looking up ex boyfriends is not the way to fix whatever is wrong in your life right now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted March 9, 2018 Share Posted March 9, 2018 Even though this guy was abusive to you I don't think you are over him. If you were this thread wouldn't be about him but about the issues in your current relationship that has caused you and your bf to take a break. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 9, 2018 Share Posted March 9, 2018 OK it seems like you have your head around the fact that your EX is still a bad guy who hasn't changed after 3 years. Now let's talk about your present relationship: ...we on break me and my guy because he stated he wants to be alone.my current guy says he still loves me though You can't be "on a break" & still live together. What are you doing about making arrangements to move out? Your guy's desire for alone time means this relationship is dead in the water. If he says he "still loves you" all that means is that he's basically a kind person who doesn't want to be mean to you. It does not mean you have a prayer of reconciling so you best start making plans for your independence. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Juneforever Posted March 9, 2018 Author Share Posted March 9, 2018 Me and current guy...i do love him though.I asked him if i should leave.He does not want me to leave the house. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Juneforever Posted March 10, 2018 Author Share Posted March 10, 2018 Even though this guy was abusive to you I don't think you are over him. If you were this thread wouldn't be about him but about the issues in your current relationship that has caused you and your bf to take a break. I am planning to go to Germany with my sister for about coiple of weeks then we see about my relationship...I just need a break from everything...I love my boyfriend still.My ex used to talk about his break up with new girl about a year a go...we communicate once every six or 8 months but for past couple of months i reached out more often and ot affected me emotionally...its like im angry that he thinks this way....but again he is bipolar...I was really in love with him back then.No i could not be with him in that vway again.He is not even a friend let a lone ending up in bed with him....i need counseling to understand why i need an apology from him .But he is such a negative and miserable person Link to post Share on other sites
Author Juneforever Posted March 10, 2018 Author Share Posted March 10, 2018 Why haven't you already blocked him? You need to stop blaming him and get angry with yourself for contacting him and that you still have not blocked him. Oh and forgot to vent....3 years a go he breaks up with me by phone...after 2 weeks of him not calling or knowing anything about him... Link to post Share on other sites
LovenHopenJoy Posted March 12, 2018 Share Posted March 12, 2018 Wow Juneforever, you have been going through a lot. I think your idea of going for counseling is a good one. Having someone outside of the situation give you insight is a good thing when you are confused or conflicted. I'm praying that you would find a counselor, or pastor, that could help you see that you are valuable and loved. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Juneforever Posted March 13, 2018 Author Share Posted March 13, 2018 Thank you so much guys !! Link to post Share on other sites
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