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-   -   Reuniting with an old love, thoughts? (https://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/second-chances/651392-reuniting-old-love-thoughts)

Adventuregirl 3rd February 2018 5:09 AM

Reuniting with an old love, thoughts?
 
3 years ago I dated a guy for 3 months. Everything was great, we had lovely dates and it was all quite innocent. We only slept together a couple of times. He met my family at my going away party.
I moved far away after 3 months of dating (this had been planned all along and I never ever expected to find someone before I left) but we kept in contact for about another 6 months. At that time we had a conversation to end all contact as we were both feeling the effects of long distance and I didn't know when I would be moving back home. So we broke contact to protect ourselves and to allow ourselves to move on. It was a pretty mature conversation and 100% the right decision at the time.

I've been back home in the city where he lives for over a year now and dated a couple of people on and off but nothing serious. I don't know why this has popped into my head recently but I've been thinking about him and wondering if it's worth contacting him again. I wouldn't have any high expectations or anything, but it's more that I think there was potential for something more that we never got to explore due to me moving away.

Has anyone ever had this experience and could give their two cents on this?
I'm a very logical person and do not have big expectations of some fairytale ending but I do think it's something to consider and see what happens.

act00 3rd February 2018 6:23 AM

I say go for it. Circumstances were all that didn't allow this relationship to progress. You broke up around the time of the honeymoon phase, so you don't know if you both will work out long term, but if he's available, I'd say it would be worth a try! It's just a matter of contacting him, and he'll let you know if he's married/GF, etc. I think he would be thrilled to hear from you either way and would jump at the chance of seeing you again if he's available.

basil67 3rd February 2018 7:30 AM

What have you got to lose?

Chilli 3rd February 2018 8:33 AM

Haha don't know why , we know why.
But yeah l agree , check him out.

Have ya done the so today thing and stalked him on fb or anywhere yet , seen what he's up to.

Adventuregirl 3rd February 2018 12:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chilli (Post 7529198)
Haha don't know why , we know why.
But yeah l agree , check him out.

Have ya done the so today thing and stalked him on fb or anywhere yet , seen what he's up to.

I've checked him up on fb. He's living in the same place and doing the same job as far as I can tell. Whether he's single or not is hard to tell, but I think I will reach out to him and go from there. Thanks for the advice!

d0nnivain 3rd February 2018 12:33 PM

You didn't break up over something being wrong between you two. It was geography. That has resolved. You have nothing to lose by reaching out.

BaileyB 3rd February 2018 12:48 PM

I have done it. I dated a guy for three months. He had been separated for about two years, but it was a long and difficult divorce. In the end, he decided that he had some things he needed to settle before he could be ready for a serious relationship. I personally think, he was ready to date at the time we met but not ready to meet a potential life partner. We said goodbye amicably, he was very apologetic and sent me an email the next day to be sure that I was doing ok...

Anyway, a year and a half later and I was still thinking about him because I too felt like we didn't get the opportunity to see what would have happened. I wanted to send him and email, but I just didn't have the courage...

But, he did. He sent me an email one night that said he thought of me often and wanted to know how I was doing. He told me later, he had started to date again and met several very nice women... But, he was just always thinking about me. He said, his friend encouraged him to send the email but it took him a while to gather the courage... He didn't know what to expect, but he said that he knew he had to do it if he wanted to sleep well at night. :love:

So yeah, I say go for it. Tell him that you have moved back to the area and you wanted to say Hi! Ask what's new in his life... His response will tell you if he is available or not. And then, you go from there. Good luck!

smackie9 3rd February 2018 1:19 PM

Let us know how it goes for you, best of luck! :)

Cookiesandough 3rd February 2018 1:22 PM

i'm all for it

Adventuregirl 3rd February 2018 2:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BaileyB (Post 7529321)
I have done it. I dated a guy for three months. He had been separated for about two years, but it was a long and difficult divorce. In the end, he decided that he had some things he needed to settle before he could be ready for a serious relationship. I personally think, he was ready to date at the time we met but not ready to meet a potential life partner. We said goodbye amicably, he was very apologetic and sent me an email the next day to be sure that I was doing ok...

Anyway, a year and a half later and I was still thinking about him because I too felt like we didn't get the opportunity to see what would have happened. I wanted to send him and email, but I just didn't have the courage...

But, he did. He sent me an email one night that said he thought of me often and wanted to know how I was doing. He told me later, he had started to date again and met several very nice women... But, he was just always thinking about me. He said, his friend encouraged him to send the email but it took him a while to gather the courage... He didn't know what to expect, but he said that he knew he had to do it if he wanted to sleep well at night. :love:

So yeah, I say go for it. Tell him that you have moved back to the area and you wanted to say Hi! Ask what's new in his life... His response will tell you if he is available or not. And then, you go from there. Good luck!

Wow, that's a cool story! I think I will do it, I'll keep it simple and let him know I am around if he would be interested in meeting up with no expectations.

Will keep you all updated. Thanks for the help!

BaileyB 3rd February 2018 6:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Adventuregirl (Post 7529410)
Wow, that's a cool story! I think I will do it, I'll keep it simple and let him know I am around if he would be interested in meeting up with no expectations.

Will keep you all updated. Thanks for the help!

I should say, that was almost two years ago and we are now talking about moving in together.

Life rewards people who are willing to take the risk! I hope it works out for you. Please, let us know what happens...

HiCrunchy 4th February 2018 12:15 AM

ehh I am a romantic at heart.
Short of cheating, abuse or constant fighting..I am all for giving you guys another chance.

good luck op!!


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