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Broke up because I wanted to fish-around

Second Chances Called it off but doubting the decision now? Someone wants you back? Let us know about it!

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Old 25th October 2017, 7:20 PM   #16
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It's good that you've seen things differently now. Problem is, she's probably given you several chances to treat her better and now she feels she's been through them all. It got to the point where you left her to go off with other women. She must have been incredibly hurt. She has put that behind her now and wants to look forward. Put yourself in her shoes; what would you do? Would you risk that recovery on someone who is very likely to do the same to you again once they get comfortable?
"You ain't a beauty but hey, you're alright" ('Thunder Road', Bruce Springsteen)
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Old 25th October 2017, 9:07 PM   #17
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Originally Posted by spiderowl View Post
It's good that you've seen things differently now. Problem is, she's probably given you several chances to treat her better and now she feels she's been through them all.

Some of the things you’ve admitted to saying to her here I can imagine hurt her very badly. And she convinced herself time and time again for years that she should stay. She loved you enough to make that choice for YEARS. 6 years is a long time to stay when the other person doesn’t feel the same.

If she ageeed to break up, I’d think she’s got nothing left to give you. She sounds like she’d never take her feelings out on you, but it takes a lot of emotional energy to forget the hurtful things you did before for years and trust you not to do them again. To open herself up like that again is a huge risk. It’s almost unfair to ask her to take that on again.

I think it is hard to find a good life partner, but it’s not impossible. You may have to date around for a while but you’ll find someone good for you that you really love. Maybe this experience will help you do better in the next relationship.

But I think you should leave your ex alone. She gave you 6 years let her be on her own for a while.
Time changes everything except something within us which is always surprised by change. - Thomas Hardy
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