Eel751 Posted September 20, 2016 Share Posted September 20, 2016 So, I was laying in bed watching a movie with my current boyfriend when I started thinking about my ex bf. I never fell in love with my ex. He offended my family by calling my father a Nazi because we are German decent and he had a mustache at the time. He also told me when we visited my house that my 12 year old sister is going to be a slut with her body. She didn't look like she was 12 at the time. When I was thinking about my ex while I was with my bf, I started to cry because I do care a lot about my current bf but I'm not sure if I love him. He has done things that made me so upset like telling me he got breakfast with his ex and her family and he lied to me and said he didn't have feelings for her when he still did. He would text her while he would hang out with me but the girl has a boyfriend. She cheated on my bf when they were together. My ex, he treated me better in someways than my current bf does. He is more adventurous and he would actually take me out to dinner and we would do fun things but I never appreciated it until now. My bf and I only cuddle, watch movies and have sex. He doesn't want to label us as bf/gf but he lately has been treating me better, buying my lingerie and paying for my meals. He told me that he cares so much about me and that we've been together for almost a year and that he's the type of guy who only sleeps with one person and that person has been me. He told me he has a surprise for my birthday and that I'll love it. When we do have alone time he makes me happy and brings out a side of me I've never seen. But I don't trust him. He told me he loves me and he started saying "I love you" again but I got upset and told him I don't believe him. I want to but it's hard because he broke my trust. My ex and I talked through Facebook messenger about how we've been and then he asked me to get lunch sometime. I ignored him for a few days but he said, "Let me know if you don't want to talk to me and if you're done." I said: Hey sorry, um I'm not sure what I want to do. I do have a boyfriend and it's complicated but I also wouldn't mind meeting you for lunch. Wouldn't your girlfriend get mad?? I just wanna know where you stand with her because I don't want to start ****. I'm not also sure how my boyfriend would feel either. Like, I'm trying to see where you're going with this lol. I think it would be ok to meet you for lunch to catch up. I thought that response was getting my point across saying how it felt and I put it in a way where no one would be hurt. I haven't told my boyfriend yet. I could do what he did to me where I meet up with my ex and then tell him I did but I believe in not doing something like that because it hurt me when he did it to me. But I don't know where I stand with my bf, I told him I'm afraid he's using me for sex and he said, you can believe what you want but I'm not. My bf is the first guy I've slept with so maybe I'm just put off on how horny his is all the time. I don't want to get hurt by him but I think I could call him my best friend. I cried to him telling him I feel like I'm being used and he comforts me. I cry a lot. He told me why we hang out because he's attracted to me and that I'm a lot of fun. But that sounds like I'm being used. I can't let go because he is working on being a better bf. I want to help us grow into the people we need to be. Do I tell my boyfriend I agreed to go to lunch with my ex? I'm almost scared he'll get mad but I honestly don't know how he'll react. Link to post Share on other sites
JewelD Posted September 20, 2016 Share Posted September 20, 2016 Honestly, sounds like you don't need to have a boyfriend at all right now. You're reminiscing on fond memories with a guy who called your dad a nazi and your sister a slut. You're now dating a guy who went out for a family brunch with his ex. You're not even really dating him because he's not your boyfriend, you're just cuddling and having sex, so FWB because he doesn't respect you enough to commit to you. Leave both of them alone and perhaps consider talking to someone about why you feel like it's acceptable for men to treat you that way. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Peach Posted September 26, 2016 Share Posted September 26, 2016 If your current BF won't call you his GF after a year then this just sounds like FWB. I agree with you that it sounds like you are being used. The first guy didn't sound a whole lot better. I know it sucks to go out there looking again but it sounds like you can do better. Link to post Share on other sites
ShootingStarlet Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 sounds like you're bored with your current relationship.....it doesn't sound like FWB because he says he loves you and you believe he doesn't sleep with other girls, some people just don't like labels because labels are scary and put pressure on people to live up to expectations but when there's no labels, people feel more free to just relax and enjoy the moment with their partner. But....I do think after a year, you should be able to go out in public with this person and introduce them to your family and friends, and if he hasn't done that, then he's just playing you. But I think you're bored with him, you should try and do more things with him, like go on a trip or go for hikes or something...and see what your relationship outside the bedroom is really like... (excluding dinner, because you seem to already go out for dinners) Link to post Share on other sites
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