How does this love/apology letter sound? (very long post)

[llVIU]

I am not good with words at all, I want your opinion on this. It's gonna be a love letter sent to her. She broke up with me and I want to get back together. The main reason being that "our hobbies differ" but truth is that I was an ******* who did not listen to her and her interests. If I knew, I would've done things that she enjoyed. She's 24 years.

 

 

 

You give me 1000000 times more compliments than all the other people on the planet combined. I felt like the biggest piece of **** in the world, then I met you, and you made me feel like the best person in the world, you make me feel so

 

incredibly happy. You like my body, voice, the way I act, even my drawings and take interest in the manga story that nobody cares about, as well as my past. You always listen to me with interest. I miss you so much and it makes me so

 

happy that you miss me. Finally... someone who cares about me. I always felt so comfortable talking to you, being with you, cuddling you, you were the complete opposite compared to anyone else.

 

You are so incredibly sweet by dealing with all my horrible bull****, like my room, when I ate meat (I cut down with it about 90%), when I spoke bad to you or your mother (I really want to appologize to her), when I didn't try holding a

 

proper conversation with you (I didn't even realize, that wasn't my intention). I was a lazy **** who couldn't be bothered to take you out on proper dates by planning things properly, and you sat quietly and enjoyed it all the way. I

 

made you drive such long ways so many times, I just feel so bad for being such a piece of **** whereas you were so kind and caring. I spoke to you like an ******* and you still loved me. You always swallowed the piss that I gave you and

 

sat there with me all the way with a smile on your face, because you wanted to make me happy. You did so much effort for me, spoke to me all the time and met up with me so many times while I was acting like an *******. No other person on

 

the planet tolerated me so much, nor loved me... but you BOTH tolerated me and loved me. I am so incredibly sorry like you wouldn't believe.

 

I was going through such terrible times, and you were right there for me and helped me out so much, you have absolutely no idea how helpful you were and how much I appreciate it. I enjoyed every single second with you. Like I said when

 

the train left when I was going back to Birmingham, I'd rather wait 1 hour in the cold if that meant I could spend another minute with you. Because I love you.

 

We have tons of interests in common... we like cuddling (VERY important), we both appreciate honesty, we both hate people around us and want to make the world a better place, we like anime, the same type of music, pets, languages (you

 

also care about writing english properly, and being polite, I like that) and talking about different countries, taking walks and sex (you're such a pervert, I love it)... I'd love to go traveling with you and just go on all the rides in

 

an amusement park, especially roller coasters... but I was too stupid to do it with you. MUCH better than sitting in a pub all the time, that's for sure. It's such a pity that I got used to sitting inside the house all the time and being

 

a potato, otherwise I also would've gotten used to being outgoing and traveling, but I am so incredibly poor at the moment! I need to try harder, I will make up for it. Please understand, I never had anyone to go out with, I am still

 

trying to get used to having a relationship.

 

You are the cutest and sexiest person in the world, especially when you get horny, it just melts my heart away. I love your nose, beautiful green eyes, their cat like shape, how you use eye liner to give them a nice shape, your natural

 

blonde straight hair, giant boobs, beautiful girly lips and hands which have such soft skin, and your lovely voice. You even talk in such a calm and sweet manner. I also like that you have no confidence, and have various issues like at

 

joints, muscle spasms when sleeping, the traumas (which I would've loved to listen to, I wanted to know about important things in your past, I wish I would've been there to protect you and offer you support, I feel so much sympathy for

 

you. You had such huge struggles and was able to overcome them. You have bad periods (but you still act sweet and deal with them), autism, aspergers syndrome, huge problems with talkig to people, and you pulled through. You also have

 

several allergies and phobias and you trust me with all of this info, you believe in me and trust me. You are generally more introverted and vulnerable, and I like that. I love being there and trying to protect and help you, even though

 

I did a ****ty job at it.

 

You are just the absolute best in bed. You dealt with the crappy conditions that I gave you (like this ****ty room with the horrible bed), you complement and love me, you even have a coil which stops you from getting pregnant (how

 

convenient is that for the guy!), and just love having sex so much. You are so perverted and just perfect all around, I couldn't ask for anything more from a girl.

 

We are not that different, it's not all about me playing computer games. That's just a hobby. I don't want to go to germany or japan in the heart of a city, living in a tiny apartment no matter what. They are merely things that I

 

considered doing, I still got a lot of years ahead to plan my future. I would enjoy traveling with you and having dogs, I don't hate dogs, you know Jake and me get along. I don't absolutely *have* to stay with you 24/7. I would enjoy it,

 

sure, but I am ok with meeting up with you once a month. I began to understand why you don't enjoy talking and why you don't want to meet up frequently. I am sorry for not being able to communicate properly with you, I always made myself

 

misunderstood, you know first hand how it is. I had no malice at all, there wasn't a single second when I hated you. You know that I never insulted you, or at least I never meant to. I always had respect for you. It's just that I got

 

used to being an *******.

 

I am not giving up on you that easily, I don't care about most things, but I care about you a LOT. I want to prove to you that I can be a good person. I promise you won't regret it, I want to ask you for one last chance. You know that I

 

love you more than anything, and I know you would enjoy being with me, as long as I'm not an *******, and I promise I will not be one.

[PacMann87]

The only thing you should do with that letter is burn it. She's 24 years old, not 12. You think insulting yourself and describing how you were a bad BF and didn't deserve her then asking for another shot because you realize how great she is all of a sudden is going to make her run back into your arms?

 

Be a man and talk to her face to face. Let's pretend you sent that letter and she reads it..... Eventually you would have to see one another right? And when you see one another you'd just have the same conversation that you wrote down. So skip the embarrassing and insecure as well as emasculating themed letter and see this girl in person. If she doesn't change her mind then at least you went after it like an adult.

[llVIU]

The only thing you should do with that letter is burn it. She's 24 years old, not 12. You think insulting yourself and describing how you were a bad BF and didn't deserve her then asking for another shot because you realize how great she is all of a sudden is going to make her run back into your arms?

 

Be a man and talk to her face to face. Let's pretend you sent that letter and she reads it..... Eventually you would have to see one another right? And when you see one another you'd just have the same conversation that you wrote down. So skip the embarrassing and insecure as well as emasculating themed letter and see this girl in person. If she doesn't change her mind then at least you went after it like an adult.

I see your point. I am completely oblivious to such a thing

[PacMann87]

I see your point. I am completely oblivious to such a thing

 

You never tell a girl "I'm going to prove myself to you, you'll see I can change" or anything like that. You show her. The way you wrote that letter is going to make you less desireable and weak. A girl wants to be attracted to the guy she's with... Feel like she's dating someone who is challenging and mature. Not a cry baby computer addicted melodramatic guy who misses her sooo much.

 

The best way to get her back is to go out and live your life, see your friends , even talk to other girls without contacting your ex. If she sees you are not crippled by the break up, and happily enjoying life, then you will have an attractive quality to interest her. No one likes the clingy desperate ex. Don't be that guy

[llVIU]

You never tell a girl "I'm going to prove myself to you, you'll see I can change" or anything like that. You show her. The way you wrote that letter is going to make you less desireable and weak. A girl wants to be attracted to the guy she's with... Feel like she's dating someone who is challenging and mature. Not a cry baby computer addicted melodramatic guy who misses her sooo much.

 

The best way to get her back is to go out and live your life, see your friends , even talk to other girls without contacting your ex. If she sees you are not crippled by the break up, and happily enjoying life, then you will have an attractive quality to interest her. No one likes the clingy desperate ex. Don't be that guy

you're right... the truth is that I am the desperate guy and such

[Satu]

Condensed version:

 

"I am unworthy."

[llVIU]

Condensed version:

 

"I am unworthy."

Yea that's how it sounds like, clingy, needy, desperate. I have big communication problems. I tend to do things how I would want people to do it for me... I mean I'd loooove a clingy/needy/desperate woman who only wants me and nobody else, but it's the complete opposite for women and I need to understand that. I'd appreciate someone who was modest and shy. But women want confident men. Unfortunately I only come across as an arrogant ******* so I have to try hard to behave well and write letters like that ^

 

I got issues that I want to fix, that's why I came here for help

[d0nnivain]

As general proposition, I hate those letters. They don't work & they set you up to be humiliated.

 

 

Yours was awful. It was too self deprecating. Upon receiving such a letter any sane woman would read it as confirmation that she did the right thing by breaking up with you. The ironic line that jumped out at me was when you expressed the idea that one of the things you have in common with your EX is that you both care about writing English properly in a letter that was filled with grammatical errors.

 

 

If you must send a letter try this:

 

 

I want to say I'm sorry. While there were many things that I wish I could take back or do other to prove my worthiness to you, I don't have a time machine. Nevertheless I do love you and I think we have a number of things in common. The rough patches can be smoothed over. I want to work with you to make our relationship work. Please give me another chance. Let's get together to really talk about this. I know we belong together.

[Simon Phoenix]

Didn't read. And she won't either. These letters are worthless as tools for reconciliation. Their only value is to get thoughts on paper/typed on a computer, but that's ruined the moment you send it. Exes hate receiving letters like that. Hate it.

[ribeto]

you're right... the truth is that I am the desperate guy and such

 

Pretend you're not. It's your only chance.

[llVIU]

I understand. The only thing I strongly disagree with is my lack of proper grammar.

 

I guess a quick phone call in 1-2-3 weeks with a short conversation, being optimistic/happy, not needy, asking her out to go to an event, would be better. Pity that you guys don't know her, because it would've helped much more. Something like asking her for once last chance because I'm confident I can make her a lot happier than I used to. Avoiding talking about negative things in our relationship altogether. Last time we met up was 2 weeks ago, and only a week ago we had a phone call conversation, and she agreed to call me the following week, meaning in the next several days. Is it too soon?

 

There's a thin line between appearing needy/clingy/desperate and just loving/caring... or if I act more cold I might appear disinterested in her instead of appearing confident like I would want to. She only once told me I am a little clingy/needy, but not much. Maybe she just wanted to hide it? Maybe it was her subconscious rejecting me?

 

What do you guys think?

[Satu]

Yea that's how it sounds like, clingy, needy, desperate. I have big communication problems. I tend to do things how I would want people to do it for me... I mean I'd loooove a clingy/needy/desperate woman who only wants me and nobody else, but it's the complete opposite for women and I need to understand that. I'd appreciate someone who was modest and shy. But women want confident men. Unfortunately I only come across as an arrogant ******* so I have to try hard to behave well and write letters like that ^

 

I got issues that I want to fix, that's why I came here for help

 

To be honest, I think that writing those things about yourself are form of self-inflicted emotional violence.

 

You should learn to have a more compassionate view of yourself.

 

Treat yourself with loving kindness.

 

It is something that can be learned.

 

Make it a long - term project.

 

Grant it importance and learn it.

 

 

Take care.

[Simon Phoenix]

I understand. The only thing I strongly disagree with is my lack of proper grammar.

 

I guess a quick phone call in 1-2-3 weeks with a short conversation, being optimistic/happy, not needy, asking her out to go to an event, would be better. Pity that you guys don't know her, because it would've helped much more. Something like asking her for once last chance because I'm confident I can make her a lot happier than I used to. Avoiding talking about negative things in our relationship altogether. Last time we met up was 2 weeks ago, and only a week ago we had a phone call conversation, and she agreed to call me the following week, meaning in the next several days. Is it too soon?

 

There's a thin line between appearing needy/clingy/desperate and just loving/caring... or if I act more cold I might appear disinterested in her instead of appearing confident like I would want to. She only once told me I am a little clingy/needy, but not much. Maybe she just wanted to hide it? Maybe it was her subconscious rejecting me?

 

What do you guys think?

 

I think every idea that involves you chasing her for reconciliation is a terrible one. You need to stop being in contact with her and you need to start recovering. She knows you want to date her again -- it's up to her to tell you that she wants to try again.

[llVIU]

I think every idea that involves you chasing her for reconciliation is a terrible one. You need to stop being in contact with her and you need to start recovering. She knows you want to date her again -- it's up to her to tell you that she wants to try again.

No, I know she has feelings for me but she is a negative thinker. She is not confident about herself or her relationships, she thinks people hate her and such. She said it herself how she wants someone "driven, decisive, knows what he wants" and also she said (unfortunately I can't find the text message) that relative to clingy guys, she likes if a guy does some effort to chase after her... I'm gonna need to find that text. Anyway, I know she has feelings for me but she thinks she is not the right girl for me due to the "lack of common interests and future plans" and that "she doesn't want the 24/7 romance" ... the thing is that I'm supposed to ask her, not the other way around. I hope I made myself understood

 

Thanks so much for all the help, really appreciate it! I didn't expect so much help

[Satu]

No, I know she has feelings for me but she is a negative thinker. She is not confident about herself or her relationships, she thinks people hate her and such. She said it herself how she wants someone "driven, decisive, knows what he wants" and also she said (unfortunately I can't find the text message) that relative to clingy guys, she likes if a guy does some effort to chase after her... I'm gonna need to find that text. Anyway, I know she has feelings for me but she thinks she is not the right girl for me due to the "lack of common interests and future plans" and that "she doesn't want the 24/7 romance" ... the thing is that I'm supposed to ask her, not the other way around. I hope I made myself understood

 

Thanks so much for all the help, really appreciate it! I didn't expect so much help

 

Here we have two people who don't like themselves.

 

That road doesn't go anywhere.

 

Change is needed.

[llVIU]

Here we have two people who don't like themselves.

 

That road doesn't go anywhere.

 

Change is needed.

not true at all

[Satu]

not true at all

Try reading what you wrote.

[Simon Phoenix]

No, I know she has feelings for me but she is a negative thinker. She is not confident about herself or her relationships, she thinks people hate her and such. She said it herself how she wants someone "driven, decisive, knows what he wants" and also she said (unfortunately I can't find the text message) that relative to clingy guys, she likes if a guy does some effort to chase after her... I'm gonna need to find that text. Anyway, I know she has feelings for me but she thinks she is not the right girl for me due to the "lack of common interests and future plans" and that "she doesn't want the 24/7 romance" ... the thing is that I'm supposed to ask her, not the other way around. I hope I made myself understood

 

Thanks so much for all the help, really appreciate it! I didn't expect so much help

 

"Chasing" is fine when you're in the courtship phase before you date for the first time. But after a breakup it's not received well at all. And everything you wrote is you trying to spin things your way to justify chasing after this woman. It's not a good look.

 

You pursuing someone who willfully let you loose is a horrible idea.