Shalom of David Posted February 19, 2016 Share Posted February 19, 2016 (edited) I have been with my soon to be ex wife (she can sign to finalize it in 45 days) for almost 4 yrs. We were married for a short 6 months before she separated from me. She is 21 and I am 23. Shortly before our wedding she said she felt stuck and almost called off the wedding but decided not to. She had been happy and almost obsessed with me and our wedding for over a year prior so we both concluded it was cold feet. Its been 3 months sense our separation. About a month before our separation she seemed to be much more interested in friends/drinking than investing in the marriage. When I finally confronted her she said she wasn't happy, I didn't listen to her and I wasn't romantic enough. She then decided she wanted a divorce. For the first week she was a wreck. Her friends literally had to force her to eat and function. She finally picked herself up, made a few new friends, and got consistently drunk. She rarely drank during our relationship. From the outside looking in my observation has been that shes been forcing herself to follow through with her decision and doing whatever necessary to cope. This has been her life up to current. Here is where it gets confusing. For me anyways. These are events that have happened in no particular order. One day she doesn't miss me, she just missed compainionship. Later she misses me SOOOOO much and still considers me her best friend. One day we are "already divorced". Later we are "still married". One day she claims I'm stalking her (long story, not true). Later shes apologizing for thinking that. One day she doesn't love me anymore. Later she still loves me and always will. One day she finally deletes me on FB. Month later still has all our wedding pics up. One day she wants me out of her apt (dealing with possessions) and doesn't want to see me. Later she invites me over to see the cats and is crying. One day it's all my fault. Later "I know this is our mess". One day it's "I just want you out of my life..... for a while". One day it's "I don't want to give up yet". Later "Its over!!". One day its "I never really think about him". Later she's crying because I am not with her at a bible study we used to attend. Want me to continue??? LOL Anyways I still love her and wish to work things out. I assumed maybe she has GIGS and the grass seems greener on both sides! For the first 2 months I tried to win her back. I didn't cry or beg but simply would text her saying Ii want things to work out, how I love her, I'm here for you etc. After the 2 months I finally get fed up and say "look as long as you haven't finalized our divorce and remain faithful my door is open to you, but I am done trying and will be moving on with my life". Sense that point she has gotten much friendlier during our interactions and most of those better sides of the things I listed above have come sense I told her I was done trying. I already know what to do which is limited contact in which I am looking my best, being fun and easy going, trying to make her laugh and being the first to leave/hang up while I wait to see if she finalizes or not. Still I want to know WTF is going on here?!?!?!?!?!?! Thanks guys Edited February 19, 2016 by Shalom of David Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted February 19, 2016 Share Posted February 19, 2016 You are both too young. Seriously. Let her go, date for the next five or six years, and then realize the best thing you did was let her go and moved on... Link to post Share on other sites
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