Doopers3 Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 Me and my ex girlfriend of 2 years broke up a month ago. The reason we broke up wasn't because I didn't love her anymore but because our relationship was turning extremely sour. We were arguing every day for the last few months. These arguments happened every day, would only last a very short time and we would make up quite quickly. However, during these arguments we would hurl insults at each other and say unforgivable things with one of us more often than not saying words to the effect of 'it's over.' Then the person would apologiZe and we would be fine...until the next argument. It got to a point where I said in my head that if she tried to end it again, it would be over. She said it again and I ended things. I moved my stuff out of the flat and moved in with my mate. I went on a bit of a bender, pulled a few different girls and then got really close to a girl from work who I knew liked me. Me and this girl from work got close quite quickly and started staying over at each other's house and started seeing each other. It's been about a month and a half and i haven't seen my ex at all in person. I messaged her a few days ago as i realised she still had a few items of mine at the flat. Since I messaged her, we have been speaking again. She still admits to loving me still and saying she hasn't been with anyone since. I didn't really think about my ex as I wasn't speaking to her and I was going out every night and never spent a night alone. It was the first night in 6 weeks I spent alone that I spoke to my ex properly. I told her the truth about me and that I have been sort of seeing this girl. I'm so confused now. My relationship with my ex was really full on. As in we didn't spend nights apart and we were very physical with each other. This new girl I'm seeing is completely the opposite. She doesn't like the physical side of things I.e she doesn't like spooning at night and very much likes her alone time. I am the opposite. I love cuddling someone at night and don't like being alone at night. My ex girlfriend was the same. I am so confused because when I spoke to my ex a few days ago, I started to regret breaking up with her. But i don't know if I regret it because I miss cuddling someone every night because this new girl doesn't like to. I honesty don't know what to do. I still love my ex, which I think is very common due to the time we were together. But I really don't know whether to take the safe option and try to get back with her, or to take a risk and continuing seeing this new girl. I really don't want to string either girl along. This new girl is going away in the summer for 5 weeks and so are my new flatmates around the same time. So I am scared if I choose this new girl that I would be alone for those months. I'm so confused and just need a bit of advice please! Thankyou! Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 (edited) What has possibly changed in a month? That's not enough time away. Being alone would be a good thing -- you sound pretty codependent on others for happiness and you sound like you're trying to use this new girl to get over the old girl, then are contemplating using the old girl because the new girl isn't what you were hoping for and you don't want to be alone. Man up and be alone for a while. Stop using people. Edited February 11, 2016 by Simon Phoenix Link to post Share on other sites
Jayyy Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 I think you should confront the new girl about what's going on with you and end it. It's obvious you don't feel anything serious for the new girl and you aren't over your ex. At this moment I think you need to be alone and discover yourself without either girl. Give yourself time to heal and reflect on both girls. Time will go on and hopefully within time you'll be able to make a decision as to whether you want your ex, the new girl or hey maybe someone else will come in! I won't say to not take your ex back but just give it sometime because fighting isn't healthy in a relationship so jumping in now because you're lonely isn't going to change anything. Give it time Link to post Share on other sites
NopeNah Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 Once you've reached the point of arguing 'dirty'(emotional abuse) it will always escalate to that,possibly beyond(physical abuse). Link to post Share on other sites
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