Should I attend? Idk where I stand.

[tman87]

My ex reached out to me a few months back wanting to hang out. Then I got a call from her but it was her boyfriend on the other end yelling and threatening me etc.. She sent an apology to me through her mom because she was afraid to contact me because she says her boyfriend takes her phone and go through it. Fast forward to the present, her mother invites me to a small birthday gathering saying that my ex wants me to be there. So it would be just me, my ex, her mom and sister. Boyfriend isn't invited because no one likes him.

 

I look on her Instagram yesterday and he took her out for her birthday. They looked happy and she was saying she love him and him her, with collage photos of them hugging/kissing etc. After seeing this I'm not sure if I even want to go tomorrow. I was going in hopes of maybe rekindling something we had in the past. But if she's so happy with the BF and love him, why do she want me to come to her birthday dinner that he isn't invited to. Her mom told me that she wants to hang out with me but her BF goes through her things and she's stuck living with him til August so she's not trying to cause problems. This event is tomorrow but I don't know if I should go if It will be for nothing. Would love to have advice on this situation. Seeing the instagram posts just put me off and seem like I'll be wasting my time going. We broke up December 2013 if that helps. Thanks in advance guys.

[GorillaTheater]

Don't get in the middle of whatever kind of mess comprises their relationship; nothing good will come of it.

 

 

If she wants to break up with him, she will. At that point feel free to reach out to her. In the meantime, though, I suspect you'd be taking on the role of "girlfriend with a penis" for her to emotionally unload on.

[Zahara]

This is a no brainer. Why would you want to engage in this mess?

 

Regardless of what you saw on Instagram. If the boyfriend is that horrible, she'll break up with him and then maybe she and you can talk about whether to move forward. Mom needs to stop trying to drag you in to help rescue her daughter.

 

This boyfriend has already gone off aggressively on you once. Stay away from the drama. I have a feeling she's only reaching out to you because she's seeking comfort from a bad situation and not because she wants to be with you.

[tman87]

Thanks guys.. That's the same way I was thinking. As if she really wanted to reach out to me, she'd make that a pint instead of going through her mom to contact me. I'd be lying if I said I didn't want her back, but only if the feeling is mutual.

[ExtraSpice]

Even if the feeling is mutual right now would probably not be the best time to get back into it. Seems like the current bf is aggressive and not exactly secure and stable. So you never know what kind of things he may pull.

 

I had an ex bf of an ex gf (wow that was a confusing sentence) who stalked her, came to my house, broke her car windows in the night. Some people just have a touch of crazy in them and best to stay away.

 

Let her deal with this bf, finish it off and then you can entertain the idea of rekindling anything.

[sandylee1]

DON'T GO.

 

If she's so unhappy then she can end it with him. I'm sure he's not holding her prisoner and she has her mom for support

 

Don't get involved in her drama. I'm suprised her mother can't get her out of this controlling relationship. How old are you both?

[tman87]

Sandylee I'm 28 and she's just turning 28

[jesslindy]

Just run away. Your self respect is diminished every time you consider being with someone who doesn't want to be with you. As long as she has a boyfriend, she doesn't want to be with you. There is no manhood in pining over a girl who doesn't want to be with you.

She also has no respect for you, and never will if you let her treat you like a plan b.

[elaine567]

Sounds like her mother has plans for you and her daughter, which may or may not be what the daughter actually wants.

Wanting to hang out may not be the same as "we should get back together."

If she IS just waiting till August to be free of him, then she may just be lining you up to make sure she is not all alone then.

All in all a bad situation, with what sounds like a nightmare of a bf.

Unless she comes to you, says she has left him, she made a dreadful mistake and she loves only you, and says she wants to give it another go (at which point you can think about it), then take it all with a pinch of salt.

[Wewon]

My ex reached out to me a few months back wanting to hang out. Then I got a call from her but it was her boyfriend on the other end yelling and threatening me etc.. She sent an apology to me through her mom because she was afraid to contact me because she says her boyfriend takes her phone and go through it. Fast forward to the present, her mother invites me to a small birthday gathering saying that my ex wants me to be there. So it would be just me, my ex, her mom and sister. Boyfriend isn't invited because no one likes him.

 

 

What would be the appeal of showing up to any event with this cast of characters? Even with the boyfriend as a no show, there is still too many ways for this to blow up.

 

The fact that your ex isn't willing to send him packing and he goes through her phone and makes call backs tells you that things are out of control.

[Simon Phoenix]

As long as the current boyfriend is around you should not be. This is a no-brainer -- do not go. And stop talking to her.

[Methodical]

I agree. He is already jealous and suspicious, and she allows him to dictate her life. It's possible he'd drive by out of curiosity since he's not invited. Assuming you'd be driving, he'd see your car and all hell would likely break loose.

 

Since her mother is the go between and invited you, tell her you're interested but refuse to get involved so long as your ex is dating this other guy.