Broke up with boyfriend four times

[voicewriter]

So I am struggling with my breakup. I dated this man for two and a half years. A great guy, a good guy, wanted nothing more than to spend his life with me. I thought I did, too, but there were issues, mostly money and sex, and I turned into a total shrew. I broke up with him four times. The time before last, he begged me back, said he wanted to marry me. It was very difficult. He said he would make some changes, and he did, but they just weren’t enough. I couldn’t get back the feeling that I had had for him. It didn’t matter what he did, I just couldn’t get back that feeling. So I ended it this past Sunday, and it’s over for good, I believe. He’s done, he says, and said that he told me that if this happens again, it’s over. I completely understand how he feels, but now I feel lost and scared and what did I do kind of thing. This man wanted to be with me forever. I’m not young. I’m 60 and he’s 57, so it’s not easy to meet people. We had a lot in common, have a lot of the same friends. I’m a complete wreck and anxiety-ridden. I wonder what is wrong with me???

[Wewon]

So I am struggling with my breakup. I dated this man for two and a half years. A great guy, a good guy, wanted nothing more than to spend his life with me. I thought I did, too, but there were issues, mostly money and sex, and I turned into a total shrew. I broke up with him four times. The time before last, he begged me back, said he wanted to marry me. It was very difficult. He said he would make some changes, and he did, but they just weren’t enough. I couldn’t get back the feeling that I had had for him. It didn’t matter what he did, I just couldn’t get back that feeling. So I ended it this past Sunday, and it’s over for good, I believe. He’s done, he says, and said that he told me that if this happens again, it’s over. I completely understand how he feels, but now I feel lost and scared and what did I do kind of thing. This man wanted to be with me forever. I’m not young. I’m 60 and he’s 57, so it’s not easy to meet people. We had a lot in common, have a lot of the same friends. I’m a complete wreck and anxiety-ridden. I wonder what is wrong with me???

 

I know that this sounds cruel, but he has my pity.

 

I always thought that one of the perks of getting older was not having to deal with this kind of thing with women.

 

Most men spend their 20s feeling like a cat chasing a laser pointer when dealing with women. Doing that in your 50s and 60s sounds exhausting.

[Michelle ma Belle]

What's wrong with you is right. I'm in my mid forties and I'm so grateful to be this age because I've finally figured out what I want and what I don't want and I'm not afraid to ask for it. No more game playing and bullsh*tting anyone including myself.

 

If you're really serious about wanting to know what your problem is then perhaps you need to think about some counselling. Going back to this guy isn't the answer. He's comfortable and a sure thing (or at least was until this last episode). That isn't a basis for a relationship.

 

What were you relationships like before this guy?