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Reconciliation Poll


XNemesisX

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1. How many of you have had a reconciliation in your most recent relationship?

 

2.How long of a time period was there from break up to reconciliation? No contact or contact? Who "started things up" again? Dumper or dumpee? (you or the other person?)

 

3. If you are currently going through another break up, would you want another reconciliation if given the chance? (saying you have had one before and it ended in a break up again)

 

4. Do you think that if the relationship ends once, it is doomed?

 

5. How many of you were left for someone else? Would you still want a reconciliation even though they broke up with you for someone else?

 

6. If you have yet to get an opportunity for a reconciliation, how long have you been broken up? Are you still hopeful?

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1. Yes, my husband and I dated for about 3 months & he broke up with me b/c I

was very quiet & shy. We started dateing about 2 weeks after we met.

 

2. We were broke up about 3 months, we didn't have any kind of contact for about

2 months then I started hanging out with one of my old friends & she just

happened to be friends with his friends. We started hanging out & became

friends & got comfortible with one another then got back together about a

month later.

 

3. No

 

4. I don't think that a relationship is doomed once it ends, it just depends on the

situation. Like in my situation, we just didn't know each other well enough to

date, we were going strickly by physical attraction.

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finishedpartying

I dated a girl for six years and she got mad and bailed out. She got what I refer to as the wild tail or sowing

 

your oats. I chased a while then went into no contact. Three months to the day that we broke up she called. If

 

I had plyed my cards right we may have been able to reconcile but I was vengeful and could let the things she

 

had done go. I always threw them up in her face instead or chilling out. We had contact on and off for about a

 

year. We had sex 5 or 6 times which you should never do and will not do again when a realtionship ends. I

 

messes with your mind. I am currently going through or went through a break up and am trying to learn from

 

my mistakes from the last relationship I am refering to above. Yes, I would at least like to have a chance at

 

reconciliation from my current break up.

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yeah I dated this much older guy, I was 18 at the time & he was 26 and he got back with his ex-gf that he dated right before me. He broke up with her a few weeks before I started comming back around b/c she was psycho. I broke up with the other guy when me & my husband started "talking" again. That was 5 years ago & we are very happy together & have been appily married for 2 1/2 yrs & have a beautiful 2 yr old daughter and are as much in love as we were when we first got together. :)

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Reconciliation Poll Post: 1 | Quote:

 

1. How many of you have had a reconciliation in your most recent relationship?

 

We broke up in the past maybe hree or four times and then reconciled. Sometimes our "break ups" would only last a week or the shortest was about five hours. Our longest was a little over a year.

 

2.How long of a time period was there from break up to reconciliation? No contact or contact? Who "started things up" again? Dumper or dumpee? (you or the other person?)

 

It was usually my ex who came around again. He usually initiated the break up because of big fights we were having. Then I would say...okay then.....and then he'd come back. The longest break up of a year I initiated due to a failure on his part to commit. He contacted me again over a year later. I never thought to contact him in between because it had seemed that he'd made his bed, so he should lie in it. The last break up we had was maybe nine week ago. I haven't heard anything from him. But just today was contacted by one of his friends about something and I am not even going to write his friend back. N/C is better.

 

3. If you are currently going through another break up, would you want another reconciliation if given the chance? (saying you have had one before and it ended in a break up again)

 

Personally I don't think I want another reconciliation. There were too many problems. My ex was always able to inspire me to continue with the relationship because of how he would promise to change or promise that circumstances would change. But I guess if he contacted me in a year or six months from now and really had followed through with what he said he was going to do, I might ponder it.

 

4. Do you think that if the relationship ends once, it is doomed?

 

I think it definately depends how the relationship ends as to whether it's doomed or not. The way I see it, as I get older, you don't fall in love a million times in your life. If you can salvage a relationship and both parties are willing (note.....not one person begging, other sort of being dragged along) then it's possible. If all problems are still there, then why try. It will only lead to the same thing. If the issues are addressed then it's possible. If there was cheated I think that's a very tough one and it might be in your best interest to pass on it.

 

5. How many of you were left for someone else? Would you still want a reconciliation even though they broke up with you for someone else?

 

I was left for somebody else as far as I know. He hooked up a week after with her. I think if I found out that my ex hadn't actually slept with the girl while he was dating me and that they had only just hooked up after (apparently they were just "good friends") then I might be able to forgive because my ex does get into relationships easily. I don't, however. So I guess I could maybe find it in myself to believe that he was just ready to move on. But if he was cheating (which he probably was) then I would have a really hard time forgiving. I don't actually know the whole story, nor do I even know if he and the girl are still together. My ex would have too much pride to contact me the minute they broke up. He'd probably sit on it for six months and then maybe call and not mention it. If I asked he'd probably just really down play it as a fling. That's how he is.

 

6. If you have yet to get an opportunity for a reconciliation, how long have you been broken up? Are you still hopeful?

 

I've been broken up about nine weeks. I was never that hopeful after the first week. After the first week I bolted. Left the town I had been in, started no contact. So I haven't been hopeful much at all. I have longed for an apology, which never came. My ex works in strange ways. I think I will probably get some contact out of him at some point....it will probably be when I am ready to hear something. But with called id..........I don't ever have to talk to the bastard again. I might feel like talking to him at some point, though. Sometimes it's nice to just clear the air, but I realize more and more as I do get older that break ups are just not fun and most of them don't end with any sort of friendship or apology. They are not pretty nor meant to be so easy---they are painful. I guess you just have to let it go and move on after some of these train wreck break ups. They are painful and no matter how you look at them they are going to hurt bad for a while.

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1. How many of you have had a reconciliation in your most recent relationship?

 

***me

 

2.How long of a time period was there from break up to reconciliation? No contact or contact? Who "started things up" again? Dumper or dumpee? (you or the other person?)

 

***about 6 weeks I think. No contact at first, then a little. I was the dumpee actually. But he still wanted contact.

 

3. If you are currently going through another break up, would you want another reconciliation if given the chance? (saying you have had one before and it ended in a break up again)

 

***another separate, but related issue, almost split us up - but he finally agreed to counseling - it's helped tremendously.

 

4. Do you think that if the relationship ends once, it is doomed?

 

***not if both people are mature and rational.

 

5. How many of you were left for someone else? Would you still want a reconciliation even though they broke up with you for someone else?

 

***not a specific someone else - he just felt he needed his freedom

 

6. If you have yet to get an opportunity for a reconciliation, how long have you been broken up? Are you still hopeful?

 

***N/A

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These answers are getting really interesting. Moon, you really made me think with what you said:

 

the way I see it, as I get older, you don't fall in love a million times in your life. If you can salvage a relationship and both parties are willing (note.....not one person begging, other sort of being dragged along) then it's possible.

 

I think that too. When I was a lot younger it was fairly easy for me to "fall in love." now, after having a real, serious relationship...having a real love is so rare! Why not try to salvage that if its possible? But you're right, it has to be a 2 way street.

 

Well I guess I could answer some of my questions myself:

1. How many of you have had a reconciliation in your most recent relationship?

 

I have. (but doesn't look like this time there will be one).

 

2.How long of a time period was there from break up to reconciliation? No contact or contact? Who "started things up" again? Dumper or dumpee? (you or the other person?)

 

6 weeks last time. I was the dumpee. It happened when we ran into eachother about 3 times in one day on campus after a month of NC. I pushed the reconcilation. Within 2 weeks after seeing eachother again and spending more time together, we reconciled. I think that if we had not run into eachother again we would have never got back together. He would not call me back or respond back when I would try. With my ex, I see that he is able to stay broken up with me so long as he does not spend time with me again. Now that we are in different cities, I don't see us seeing each other again - therefore I don't see a reconciliation happening.

 

3. If you are currently going through another break up, would you want another reconciliation if given the chance? (saying you have had one before and it ended in a break up again)

 

Probably yes.

 

4. Do you think that if the relationship ends once, it is doomed?

 

I'm going to have to second what Moon said. Real love is so rare and if it can be saved, I think it should be. At least both parties should try at it and not throw the towel in so easy. A lot of people think that a relationship is supposed to be smooth sailing all the time and that isn't realistic. ALL relationships take work. Some people think its supposed to be perfect all the time and just give up. I think that is unfortunate.

 

5. How many of you were left for someone else? Would you still want a reconciliation even though they broke up with you for someone else?

 

I don't know for sure if he left me for someone else, but I have suspicions. If he has slept with her and told her he loves her already, I would NOT want a reconciliation. At least I'm pretty sure I wouldn't......I would always be wondering if he came back to me just because the last relationship didn't work out and he used me as "second choice." I wouldn't want that.

 

6. If you have yet to get an opportunity for a reconciliation, how long have you been broken up? Are you still hopeful?

 

I'm going to guess we have been broken up for about 7 weeks. Officially, as in I heard him say it with his own mouth: 2 weeks I'm guessing. I guess I'm still slightly hopeful but I'm not going to hold my breath. I have tried, I really have. But if he doesn't start reciprocating then forget about it. He's blaming it a lot on being busy with work and law school applications but give me a break! I guess now that I think about it..no I'm not too hopeful.

 

I thought this would be an interesting thread because me and another poster on LS have been talking about how it seems like most people on LS don't seem to ever reconcile. Or if they do...they leave LS and so we never hear about it.

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