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Needing Mens Advise!!!


kimberbimber

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Hi All

OK well I am about to go back to my ex, now there were are problems in the past that I know has not changed yet.

We do love eachother and we do want to be together however I do not find him sexually satisfying, I know that this can all change but I do not know how to say it to him, I do not want to say that I want to know how I can help him be more playfull, He kinnda enjoys getting right to bussness and thats it. How can this change? Like I said I do love him and I know that I want to be with him but I do not know how to bring things like this up. He is a real cool guy, he can talk about things and he is open I think to different sexual things?? I am not to sure on that one. I left him after living with him but having any sex because I was feeling frustrated in the end. He knew I was frustrated and he would kinnda do nothing about it.

 

Any help on how to talk about this senitive situation will be great

 

thanks

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Just say something or initiate stuff.

 

Oh and I hope you don't break up with the guy again if he doesn't change his ways in bed. It'd be pretty silly and funny to me if you broke up with a generally good guy just because he doesn't have sex as well as you want him to....watch, if you did that I bet you get with a guy who is a king in bed but treats you like crap. Would that be worth it?

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Originally posted by kimberbimber

I left him after living with him but having any sex because I was feeling frustrated in the end. He knew I was frustrated and he would kinnda do nothing about it.

 

Any help on how to talk about this senitive situation will be great

 

thanks

 

 

This makes no sense whatsoever....

 

You left him cause you were sexually frustrated and he did nothing about it.

 

WELL HE DID NOTHING ABOUT IT CAUSE YOU NEVER TOLD HIM THERE WAS A PROBLEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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I am not to sure on that one. I left him after living with him but having any sex because I was feeling frustrated in the end. He knew I was frustrated and he would kinnda do nothing about it.

 

Thats what I said!!!! He knew but it never changed.

 

I do not intend on leaving him again, I am asking on how to change this. I have tried new things and he would laugh or make comments to me. Things like, you loked funny, or why make them nosies, He is very quiet and i am not at all. One big problem....

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Hi kimber

 

Although sex is a subject that is right my alley. Im not sure what to suggest to you.

Hmm.. this will take some research.

Sounds like you need more foreplay for one. Let me ask you do you lie on the couch and cuddle together at all? This is a good time to try and get him to warm you up a bit, ie take his hand put in certain spots etc.

Another idea is to perhaps buy him a book, or ask him if he has any fantasies.

Or maybe a course at the learning annex...

Listen theres a good book I bought the other day I will get the exact title

of it for you but I have to say I tried it out and the person i was with claimed they had the best the ever had. wink wink

 

strangelove

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Hi

 

Well we do a bit, He says that he does not fanistize nor does he do anything on his own if you know what i mean. I am really stuck with this one, I have tried doing things, i have made suggestions, There was only one day that I remember in the 2 years that we were together that he flipped his lid in a good way over me. I was dressed up and he seen me when he came to meet me and my firends. That has been the only time, I am really lost. I do not know what to do, what to say and how to say it, When in the past I would bring it up he would just start saying bad things about himself so I know that he takes it in the wrong way. I do not put on sexy clothes before bed cuz to him it is nothing but a waste of time, when I would dress up after the first time he would say why are you doing that and putting on make up? I would just say well i feel like it. He would not read a book, I do that reading. What gets me is besides this one thing we are great together...

 

Thanks

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Sex is an important part of a relationship. I don't care what anyone says. Not the most important, but it IS important.

 

Don't let anyone tell you you're superficial or anything because you expect to have a good sex life. I know that even if I was in love with a girl, if there was no chemistry in the bedroom, I would leave. You shouldn't have to settle for something less than you expect because he is "a good guy."

 

Just my 2 cents.

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It probably would be best to be delicate about it, because hearing that he doesn't turn you on in bed will probably be a huge blow to his ego. You might want to preface the conversation with things like..."I love you and want to be with you but this is bothering me"...or.."I'm not saying I don't enjoy sex with you, but maybe we can"...something along those lines.

 

Us boys have big but fragile egos when it comes to stuff like that. When it comes to all stuff for that matter... :D

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I have hurt him in the past with this topic and now i am scared more then ever, i ma going ot go 2500 miles to be with him, live with him and love him, I am scared that this will all happen again, no no no I do not expect it to change over night, I will take your advise Chris and see how he responds. I really do not want to hurt him with this. I love him and he does drive me crazy but the frustration over whelms me I guess, I know that sex is a big thing for me ( no pun). But as soft as I can be I will bring up the topic with him, I think that he may even be shy still, responces are always I do not know, it is great I love our sex life.. I say ya for a nooner.

 

Thank you again

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I hear you Kimber...you love the guy and you don't want to hurt him. Just be genltle about it..who knows, maybe he'll listen to what you're saying to him and he'll turn into a tiger. Good luck to you.

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