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he's confessing his weaknesses to me. good or bad?


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Old 14th December 2004, 6:05 PM   #1
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he's confessing his weaknesses to me. good or bad?

Hi all. My ex and I have been IMing and he has started confiding in me that he feels pathetic. he's the pervy ex who goes on sex dating sites and had a call girl when he was in Vegas. He was saying stuff like all he's ever been about is having sex with girls and that was what drove him for so long. That he guesses he needs validation all the time and now that his car is broke down he is feeling pretty pathetic and sad. I asked him if he is depressed because his car broke down so he can't ask out chicks. he said it's just he's at a low point in his life with everything happpening all at once. he;s stressed financially and I guess he went out on a date where his car broke down so that was a blow to his ego. I asked if he liked the girl and he said I don't know. He said he's indifferent doesn't know if she liked him and is not sure. I told him he is great and that I am sure she liked him. It seems like he's just feeling really down and I keep on trying to cheer him up be the supportive person so perhaps he will realize how much he loves me and come back. Like I am the only one who understands him.He said normally he would have tried to seduce and sleep with a girl like that to boost his ego but he just didn't feel like it. I am sure after the car breaking down and all that he was too embarrased to ask her out again but he's really goodlooking and so I am sure she's just waiting for the call. Anyways, we have been IMing for a whole week pretty consistently. I tell him I am ready for a new start but he doesn't say anything like let's get back together or anything. He knows I am dating and I keep on pretending I am super happy with life. that I love him so I am going to release him and wish for the best. Is the best strategy just to do no contact? Like ddrop offf the face of the earth. I don't want him to think I am rejecting him when he needs me and it's like if he feels I have moved on I am afraid he will come to hate me. Like I was a friend then I just abandoned him?
I am not sure what my next move should be and I don't know if he's just yanking my chain. I heard that when a man confesses his deepest secrets it's a stretch for him and he's reaching out is that true? what should I do?
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Old 14th December 2004, 6:12 PM   #2
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In all this, I can't locate what YOU would like.

Are you out there happily moving on?
Do you want him back?
Do you only want to be his friend and never serious again?
I can't tell.

I'd try to determine what you actually want, and go from there. He sounds draining, to me, sorry, but he does.
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Old 14th December 2004, 10:21 PM   #3
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I want him to want me back but at the same time I am moving on and dating and having fun but my heart is still with him. I don't know how to go about getting him back. I want him to want me. How do I do this?
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Old 18th December 2004, 3:57 AM   #4
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hhhmmmmmmmmm.....

Let me ask you something..

1. do you have a car

2. would you be open to asking him out on a date or.. maybe a non date.. or working on finding an excuse for you guys to hang out?

strangelove
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Old 18th December 2004, 4:06 AM   #5
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Yes I do have a car. and he asked me to his company party and we had a good time. A very good time but I told him about all the guys I am dating and told him he should do the same. the thing is if I get him back I want him to really want me and not just want me because I am easy or what have you so that is why I want him to date others. I play it off like I am over him but I am so not and it's so hard. Am I doing the right thing?
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Old 18th December 2004, 4:07 AM   #6
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ok I read more of your posts

well look im sure I can help you figure out ways to hang out etc but.....

1. If you intend to shag him make him take an std test
2. see fi you can make it a non shaggable date
3. If you realy love him and you can see he wants to reform him self
and he wanted to go to counselling for sex addiction then you would have to
be supportive of this

4. Im not sticking up for him but he has admitted things to you like.. the dating site, and other such things. I think he is trying to come clean to a certain extent and hes not hiding this stuff from you.

I have a feeling im not winning popularity votes with my stance on this but, you've requested advice on how to get back with him.

strange love
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