"First Date" With The Ex

[Early Bird]

So, my ex and I are going on a date next Tuesday.

 

Long story short - we were together for four months, I broke it off with her about two months ago. A week later we talked about possibly trying again, but a rebound relationship on her end came into the fold. For a week or so it was very hot and cold with her until I went completely no contact. A few nights ago, she called and I ignored. Afterwards, she sent me multiple messages saying she needed to talk to me and that it was urgent and about trying again.

 

I called her back and we talked for a few hours. She had ended her rebound relationship and told me that she missed me so much and wanted to try again but take things very slow. That it was important we focus on hanging out and seeing how things go with no pressure (Also, that it was important that if we do get back together that the events over the past couple of months don't come with us in a negative way and so it doesn't seem like she's only bouncing back to me).

 

I was cautious, so I said that I think she needs some time to think it over and see if that's what she really wants. We agreed. A couple days later she called and wanted to know what I was doing next Tuesday. She said she really wanted to hang out THAT day or the next but her family was coming in to town for the weekend and for her white coat ceremony on Monday. So we arranged hanging out Tuesday night, and at the end she cheerfully said "It's a date!"

 

Last night and today it's been light and playful texting off and on. She keeps asking for a hint about what I have planned for the date, and I playfully give her vague, poetic messages about it (Keeping it simple with a little ice skating and dinner).

 

In NO way am I going into this expecting that after one night we're going to suddenly elope and spend eternity together. I'm also making sure to give her space until that time and not blow her phone or social media up. She's been depressed and has a lot on her plate personally and with school (And the rebound guy was apparently pretty horrible to her. I've met the guy before, so that doesn't surprise me). The way I see it is that it's best to approach this as just going out and having fun with each other no strings attached. In the meantime, giving her space to sort things out in her life and process everything.

 

What are your thoughts on this, everyone?

[Ducky71]

Don't do it.

 

 

NSA? The way you talk about her seems like she's already emotionally invested in you, those are strings.

 

 

Drama/stress/school/rebound and other assorted baggage...good luck with all that.

 

 

In my experience, going back to someone is a recipe for disaster. If you can keep your emotions out of it and just have fun, then go nuts, but consider the reason it didn't work the first time around.

 

 

Good luck.

[SeekedandDistroyed]

Good luck and watch your back

[lil hoodlum]

"Taking it slow" is usually code for keeping your options open.

 

Good luck and yes, be cautious.

[Simon Phoenix]

It means you are walking head first into a buzzsaw. "Taking it slow" is something a dumpee should say as they evaluate whether or not they want to try with the dumper again. Coming from the dumper, it's code for "well, the other person didn't work out, so I'll use my safety blanket while I look for something else."

 

It's a crappy idea, but you're going to do it anyway.

[xUnknown]

Its too soon.

 

Please, take it from me.

 

The other posters here are right as well. Coming from the dumper, it means she wants to test the waters again. This LITERALLY just happened last week with my best friend. I was actually surprised because I thought you might be him.

 

Don't do it.

[LifeGoesOnMan]

welcome to the beginning of the "forever loop."

 

 

want to send shock waves, create attraction?

 

 

cancel.

[EuTuBrute]

Hey man don't do it

 

I might be jaded, but i got a second chance with my ex

 

It ended in disaster