Second Changes can happen...

[Personally Me]

Hi Everyone,

 

I have been reading forums and blogs for positive way to continue my reconciling with my bf.

 

My back story is shown a little bit on Break Ups.

It's still complicated but it doesn't have to be THAT complicated.

 

I think the first thing that needs to happen is both people have to honestly want this and for the right reasons that make sense to them.

 

I have read so many posts that couples try again, just to break up again.

I don't want this happening with my relationship. We both want a lifelong relationship. Maybe that makes a difference, too.

 

He has come home to talk four times, since. Today, he made an effort to come over and got a sitter for this children. We didn't talk about issues, we just had a normal day at home. It was a nice day.

 

One thing I did was put these text quarrels to rest. It's only been the last week that he is more willing to text. It took a bit of work to get us there.

I said that texts are here to stay and I will be mindful of not misusing it.

 

I told him that we have never really broken up, it was alway through texts during a heated conflict to end the conflict and the fallouts aren't worth it. He responded " We have had some crazy fallouts', this likely makes sense to him, too. It's not THAT complicated.

 

About texting, I have expressed my opinions that it's our form of communication, right now. I would like to have open communication and share our thoughts and day with each other. That without open communication it creates suspicion.

 

Last week, I texted him in the morning and he didn't reply. By late afternoon, I texted him again saying, I don't understand why he hasn't responded to my text, yet. Was there a reason why he hasn't? It turned out there was no problem. Changing my attitude about the benefits and downfalls of texting allowed me not revert back. I did express that communication is the number one reason why couples grow apart or grow together. And we should have kept our communication open. And i don't want to repeat our past.

 

We both are texting, doing it a better way, it's coming more naturally, and not over texting each other. He is including talking about his children in a more personal fun way. He is using the loving names he has for me,again.

He is initiating texts with more ease.

 

I know there will be trying times with texting and I will be confused or upset but I will approach it a way that works for us, not against us.

 

Gosh, this is just solving and managing texts so over-reacting, assuming the worse, etc is put to rest. One issue out of many..lol.

 

I hope this helps a couple that find themselves misusing texting. Maybe, this will work for you, too.

 

And of course, I need the insight, support, encouragemnet here. It's has helped and I am just in my baby steps.

 

Thank You