Does she miss me or think about me at all?

[Znder]

I started dating this girl in March and we had known eachother for awhile and we always had a secret crush on eachother but only physical becAuse we never really talked. About a month into our relationship I knew we were moving fast but it all felt so right. She had just told me she loved me and even though it was so soon I knew I loved her too. We did everything together and we made eachother so happy.

 

I was the best bf a guy could ask for, I'd buy her flowers and come see her after work and her family would always invite me places with them and I fit in so perfectly. We've been broken up now for about two weeks and I've been NC for one week. We met up for coffee after the first week to see if we could work things out but she got mad later into the argument because I had texted her mom during the week asking if my ex had moved on. She said it shows I have no self control and can't wait for her reply and she said it shows how much I trust her if I can't even trust that she'll get back to me.

 

She said it hurt her feelings that I would even think that. Before we started arguing that day she said that we should stay friends and see where it goes (now this is the reason she said she broke up with me) she loves the man I am and she said it's traits that she wants to marry one day but she's young and doesn't want to feel like she's tied down but she's still unsure of if she's making the right decision or not. After we fought tho she stormed off and ignored the two texts I sent her about hanging out as friends.

 

She was on twitter all day tho. I finally sent a long message (that now I kinda regret cuz I feel like I lost her completely now) about how I can't do this anymore and I was very dramatic in the text and tried to be nostalgic by telling her what id miss about her. That was a few days ago and the next day I see on twitter she posted "one less problem without you" and I broke down. How could she be so heartless to not even say goodbye. I know her and she had such a warm caring heart and now she's like a different person.

 

So I finally decided to stop looking at her twitter a couple of days ago. I knew she had been talking to this guy (whose the opposite of me he's a complete jerk) but I figured he's just a rebound. But I gave in and went on her twitter and found out through subtle hints that she had slept with him.. Idk what to think now but I know she likes him no matter what she says. I just want her to realize that she gave up a caring man so that she can party. She's never had many friends and she's always been depressed because she didn't like her life but I was her one good thing.

 

I think she believes she'll be happier partying and in a ****ty relationship than with me. A couple days after we broke up she was tweeting depressing song lyrics and saying how heartbroken she was but now she seems fine even happier. I don't want to believe it's permanent. She's breaking my heart and in the short time we dated we did a lot together and we even said that it's ridiculous how we went this fast but we didn't regret it and even now she says she doesn't regret it. But the fact of the matter was it wasn't long term so idk how long it'll take to miss me. Less time more time?

 

I can't stand watching her fall for that other guy but it can't be real can it? How could he compete with someone who'd give you the world. My questions are, how long will it take to miss me? Does she think about me? Does she regret giving me the cOld shoulder? And where does that guy play into this. She's deleted almost every picture of us on Instagram and twitter. It's almost like I never existed.

 

Our relationship was short but intense and it's one of those people you meet that you just know they're the one. I'm more tore up about this time than I was after my two year relationship ended. So please help. Will she ever come back/ make contact

Edited August 5, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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[Ordinaryday]

She probably does miss you and think about you but just NOT ENOUGH TO WANT YOU BACK.

 

it is like someone you were friends with at school but havent seen in years - every now and then you find yourself thinking about them and wondering how they are for a minute or two, but then the feeling passes and you forget about them for another six months until you are watching a movie you watched with them in year 10 and it reminds you of them again.

 

it is like that.

 

and EVEN IF SHE DOES CONTACT YOU the contact is absolutely meaningless unless she says she wants you back.

 

it is best just to change your number and block her on social media. that way you wont bother wondering if she is messaging you because you know that even if she tried to she wouldnt be able to.

[Znder]

I agree. I'm done looking at what she's doing because I know it'll hurt me even more. I just find myself remembering all the promises she made me and how she told me she'd never love anyone but me. And I understand that people say things like that when there in love but I did everything for her and maybe that's the problem. I have this on going fantasy in my head that she's gonna text me soon saying she's so sorry for ever giving me up. Is it ridiculous for me to think that could happen. I'm still so in love with her. Even if she doesn't miss me like I miss her I don't understand how she could move on so fast. It's like I never even existed to her. I bought her a little hamster, and it was ours but she kept it at her place. I just imagine her looking at it right now late at night thinking of me. Should I stay no contact and wait for her to talk to me me. Or should I try and text her in a few days Just asking her to talk? Cuz I do want her back I just dk the right thing to do.

[Ordinaryday]

don't ever initiate contact with the dumper, it makes you look weak, pathetic and desperate! those are hardly attractive qualities and all they do is demonstrate she still has you hooked.

 

if she contacts you for ANYTHING, any "hi how are you?" or "happy birthday" or "good luck with your test" or anything like that respond ONCE, JUST ONE TIME, with "I have no interest in being 'just friends' with you. don't contact me unless it is about us getting back together".

 

with that text you have told her where you stand, you are done.

 

then ignore EVERYTHING else she sends you, absolutely EVERYTHING, unless she outright states that she wants you back.

[Znder]

I'll keep that in mind. At first I thought it would be rude but she ripped my heart out then a week later is already sleeping with someone. She's changed like completely in the two weeks she broke up with me. She went from this girl who wanted something real and wanted to be with the person she wanted to marry and now she cold hearted and all she wants to do is party and have nothing serious. She pretty much told me I'm an amazing boyfriend but I'm holding her back from living life to the fullest. How long will it take her to realize the grass isn't greener on the other side.

[Ordinaryday]

rude? you are seriously worried about appearing 'rude' to a girl who broke your heart, dumped you and essentially said that you were not good enough to be her boyfriend???

 

there is a thing A LOT of dumpers do after the break up which is incredibly selfish and you need to prepare for it (keep in mind not all dumpers do it). they start to feel guilty for hurting you and even though they are firm in their decision to not be with you they want to see that you are 'okay' and not mad at them and dont hold a grudge against them - they want a clear conscience and you telling them you are okay will give them this.

 

so they will contact you with a text like "hi how are you?" or "happy birthday" or any other meaningless occasion text, cos they want a response from you letting them know that:

 

1) you are ok

2) more importantly (for them) you are not mad at them.

 

give them this and you will NEVER hear from them again.

 

this may seem 'nice' (for them to contact you) but it is actually very selfish. why? because to get over someone and move on you often NEED TO FORGET ABOUT THEM, 'out of sight out of mind' and all. when they contact you they are MAKING YOU REMEMBER GETTING DUMPED BY THEM and when it is for a purely selfish reason like they just want to ease their guilt well that is just terrible and nasty.

 

so dont respond to anything she says. block her on all social media. if she contacts you AT ALL respond once with what I said to say, then ignore everything after that,

[Znder]

You are incredibly right. I hate her for what she did to me. But it's that hate that makes me want her back if that makes sense. But I get what your saying. Unless she's begging for me back don't give her what she wants. She should have to suffer like I am because I swear I've never cried and had so many panic attacks in my life. I hate what she's doing to me especially after I did so much for her. I don't just want her back. I want how she made me feel back and the type of person she was with me. Thank you so much. I'm so stuck between anger and depression. I know I'm a good guy and so does she. But she'd still pick the party life and relationships with guys who don't care about her.