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Taking things slow with Girlfriend


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heyitsmike

Hey guys 2 weeks ago my girlfriend approached me and told me her work in school and with her medical career was becoming too demanding for her to handle a relationship. our breakup wasn't an issue of another guy or loss of spark, etc it was just purely a rash decision pressured by a wedding we were supposed to attend together.

2 weeks later its been an up & down of i hope we can rekindle things soon, and then back to work comes first. then as of last night me and her talked things out after she had a bit of a medical emergency and i went to her apartment to take care of her. she told me she cant go without having me in her life and wants to really work on us and make things work......but in the meantime she wants to take things slow and easy.

 

I understand this completely and agree. but i cant help but feel when i talk to her i am still "walking on eggshells, not using so many i love you's and baby's, etc. (trying to take it slow)". we had a great day today saying we love each other and were very happy about being able to be on the same page and working to make us better in the long run. but once again I've never gotten back together with an ex. and this almost in a small degree feels like dating someone for the first time again.

 

its a slightly confusing feeling and I'm wondering if anyone can help give me some ideas for possible dates and activities to do to repair that bond (while taking it slow), while also clearing up my head of this strange banter back and forth (or maybe how to even change it?)

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Hey Mike,

 

I'm currently going through a similar situation with my girlfriend. I was the one who broke up with her in this case, but it was for something she said that hurt me. Anyway, I can completely relate to what you said about the "walking on eggshells" feeling. As I did with my girlfriend, I would tell her that you don't like it and you don't feel like you're being yourself around her. You guys did break up so you should ease back into things, but you shouldn't forget about your relationship before the break up. That had to count for something. Maybe you should compromise with her. You could talk less seriously about your future together so there's less pressure, but at the same time you two should make it known to each other the love you have for one another. That way you still have space to heal and think more clearly about your future together, but making it known that you love each other and want things to work.

 

Something to consider, however, is that it seems she's the type of girl who doesn't know what she wants. One moment she wants to break up, and then shortly after she wants to get back together. Try not to invest too much hope or feelings, because her feelings could change at any second and you could get hurt in the end. Also you have to consider that she wanted to break up with you over work. Maybe this is just the hopeless romantic in me, but I truly believe that if someone really loves you they will fight for you no matter what. I understand the world we live in is a difficult place with many stresses, but to break up a perfectly happy relationship over work seems a bit shallow. It would be a good idea to ask her why she thought your relationship couldn't survive because of her work. Perhaps, there are underlying issues you both weren't aware of and could come out in a conversation like this.

 

I hope this helped. I'm going through this too so I know how you feel. I hope everything works out for you.

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Simon Phoenix

I would back off and let her process the break on her own, instead of letting her use you as a crutch while she decides what she wants to do at her convenience. She can't miss you if you don't go away.

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