skinsman82000 Posted September 3, 2004 Share Posted September 3, 2004 My girlfriend had just moved into her new dorm room a couple of weeks ago. She was starting college at a nice university. We had been going out for over seven months. She had dumped me once before for two days and she then said it was a big mistake, so on, and we got back together pretty magically. We grew a lot as a couple after that being open with each other. She was a senior in high school and I had been going to a comm. college, so I'm a year older. Well, right after she moved in the dorm, on a weekend, she invited me over to hang out. Me, her, and her female friend(my friend too) hung out for the afternoon. The friend left, and to put it short, she dumped me a little while after that. Her reasons were that "she wanted to experience college, and that she wanted to remain friends," and "it's not the same as when we were first going out." We then had the scene of her giving stuff back to me, we can still be friends, etc... Then she watched at the window as I proceeded to go to my car and leave. I called a week or so later, sharing with her that I really did want to stay friends and that her friendship was very important to me. I also said that I would like to hang out sometime in the near future. She said that she'd have to check when she would have some free time and get back to me. She isn't lying about the free time b/c she plays soccer for them and she has a big class schedule as well. I really don't know how she feels about us breaking up, whether heartbroken, like me, happy it's over, or just wanting space. Whatt I want to know is if I do have a chance with her again? I know we had something incredibly special. I haven't been able to get her out of my head since we broke up and it's been almost 2 weeks. I've been working, going to school, and doing other things, though nothing seems to help. Do I have a shot? Should I call and tell her this, is so how long should I wait. She was the first and only Love in my life and I don't know what to do. Any advice would be greatly appriciated... And I have been keeping busy with school, work, and other stuff....I just know that she's the one for me. Link to post Share on other sites
uriel Posted September 4, 2004 Share Posted September 4, 2004 Chances are she knows you didn't want to break up with her. She probably did it for the very reason she said: she wants to be free to experience college life as a single woman. Sure, that's probably because she wants to focus on school and soccer and not a relationship. But it also almost certainly means she's interested in meeting other guys -- especially the variety of guys that she'll find in that setting (not the high school or hometown guys she's used to). When she says your relationship isn't what it was in the beginning, she's expressing a desire for the thrill of romance. No relationship is going to keep that around to the same degree forever, but she might reproduce it by jumping from guy to guy or from a known guy to an exotic college guy. Not very wise or mature, but there you go. You, on the other hand, feel that you've grown more attached to her -- more emotionally intimate. Those are two very different views of the same relationship. I don't think you've got a chance with her right now. She needs to get some experience before she understand whether what she's looking for is out there or whether she's confusing novelty with improvement. Proof positive: Although you may be right that she's checking her schedule because she's really busy, you need to remember that she is only considering seeing you as a friend and that even then you're far from her top priority. If she were in love with a guy, totally hung up on him, would she make him wait and check her schedule? No. Sorry -- I wish I could hold out more hope for you. Your best bet, though, is to act like you don't care and make her wonder what she's missing / given up. -- uriel Link to post Share on other sites
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