12yearsin Posted December 23, 2013 Share Posted December 23, 2013 For Christmas my ex surprised me with a present. He gave me a book titled, " This is how you lose her" by Junot Diaz. This book is about how a we lay bare the infinite longing and inevitable weakness of the human heart. That passion always triumphs over experience, and that “the half-life of love is forever". If he is not trying to tell me something this was book given in extreme poor taste. Opinions? What to do next? (As a side note I am still in love with him) Link to post Share on other sites
MrWhite Posted December 23, 2013 Share Posted December 23, 2013 Very complex message. Not sure how I would interpret it.... Black and white sure is the best type of communication. Díaz describes the book as being "a tale about a young man’s struggle to overcome his cultural training and inner habits in order to create lasting relationships. This Is How You Lose Her - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia Infidelity, passion, heartbreak, complex relationships, etc.... Weird..... Link to post Share on other sites
Author 12yearsin Posted December 23, 2013 Author Share Posted December 23, 2013 Very complex indeed. He's had fidelity issues with other women. He was also very cynical about falling in love. We work together and had to team teach a fiction writing class. He has managed to bring up love, loss, and relationships with his short story choices and writing prompts so many time under a guise of it being part of the class but with this one last thing I can't help but think he just passive aggressively dropping hints. Link to post Share on other sites
Poppyolive Posted December 23, 2013 Share Posted December 23, 2013 12yearsin although cute and kinda sweet he gave that to you, it is however pretty lame. If he wanted to say something he should come speak to you or find a way to make that happen....not just send a book and have you figure out the rest. If there is no meaning behind it then you are right, thats just poor taste. Now i don't know your back story, but you did say you still love him...My advice to you is continue going on about your life as is, he needs to do more than give you a book to make things work....they are indeed, basically breadcrumbs for you to respond, so he doesn't have to do the work or put his heart up for wrecking. Now i have Miley Cyrus's wrecking ball stuff in my head...great! Good luck 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author 12yearsin Posted December 23, 2013 Author Share Posted December 23, 2013 I do still love him and I am so tempted to just tell him how I feel to get the crap over with. Of course I do not want to get rejected. Link to post Share on other sites
Riou Posted December 23, 2013 Share Posted December 23, 2013 Tell him not to be so indirect if he wants anything out of it.. It's a waste of time and a bit of mind games.He should state what he wants. Link to post Share on other sites
Poppyolive Posted December 23, 2013 Share Posted December 23, 2013 Don't do that....hold your horses...he may very well be working up some fine courage to talk to you and he may be preparing for this....don't go doing his job for goodness sake, I think he'll have more respect for you..laying low and standing for what you feel is right. Leave him to do the rest... Link to post Share on other sites
Author 12yearsin Posted December 23, 2013 Author Share Posted December 23, 2013 It's been a year and a half. Link to post Share on other sites
mmmburrito Posted December 23, 2013 Share Posted December 23, 2013 You know him better than we do, so ultimately it's your call... But if you feel you've been waiting long enough, it might behoove both of you to start shooting straight, even if to a small degree. Maybe it can help pry open a more direct conversation? Link to post Share on other sites
AlphaC Posted December 23, 2013 Share Posted December 23, 2013 For Christmas my ex surprised me with a present. He gave me a book titled, " This is how you lose her" by Junot Diaz. This book is about how a we lay bare the infinite longing and inevitable weakness of the human heart. That passion always triumphs over experience, and that “the half-life of love is forever". If he is not trying to tell me something this was book given in extreme poor taste. Opinions? What to do next? (As a side note I am still in love with him) I wouldn't read anything anything by Junot Diaz - FACT!! Link to post Share on other sites
2fargone Posted December 23, 2013 Share Posted December 23, 2013 Looks like he is reaching out.... carefully. I am not familiar with the book but a year and a half is a long time to expect someone to 'shoot straight' immediately. I would say give it a week or two, tell him you read the book and perhaps that it was interesting. See what comes out of it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 12yearsin Posted December 23, 2013 Author Share Posted December 23, 2013 I feel like he's reaching out or he has very poor taste. This had been really hard especially since we work together and teach a class together (which has been an amazing experience because it's our shared passion). Link to post Share on other sites
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