She left me, got her back, I left her, want her back, no contact?

[loverboy99]

I am going to be as brief as possible but we have some history as ever since meeting this girl I have seen her almost everyday we live litterally a 10 min walk away but have NEVER ran into her. Im 19, she just turned 17. We met in December, and we fell in love very fast, she was amazing and just to be honest the most amazing girlfriend or girl in general Ive ever met. I ****ed up I know it, I used drugs a lot, I dont remember about 40% of our dates. She knew I was a drug addict, but she stuck around and was supportive. She was very easy though, she threw herself at me, sex almost everyday and was almost ALWAYS available. She was extremley needy at first and for our 7 months together near the end she started improving and not being so needy because during fights when I was hot headed I would tell her how needy she is and say a lot of bad things. This girl is head over heels for me, but near our last fight 4 weeks ago (my lowest point ever) she left, I did the usual angry texts, then 2 weeks later asked her to meet. During the 2 weeks I went to detox, have been sober since and she noticed a huge change in me, but I was still very needy thats my biggest mistake. The thing is I noticed a huge change in her she has the "i dont give a **** about life anymore attitude" (I hope its an act but i dont think so). She drinks regulary she said breaking up with someone she will love forever (me) broke her, and is numbing her emotions. She says all the sweet talk and shows it to an extent but NOTHING like the love she had before. 2 days after getting together (she noticed I was fixing myself and getting better everyday), she was getting worse. Its like we switched positions, 2 days after she took me back I noticed to much of a change, she spends way too much time with her friends I didnt want to get torn apart again so I ended it. She said dont come back to me again. Ive known this girl so much, EVERYDAY for 7 months Ive seen her minus about 20 days total. She is extremley stubborn and says **** but acts different, she is always emotional, I know, I KNOW she still loves me and misses me. When she took me back she couldnt stop crying saying I missed you so much, I didnt want to leave, I cant live without you, I love you so much. I know she will miss me extremley but is way too stuborn to contact me before I do, to prove she doesnt need me..but she does. Now I started no contact yesterday, I want her to miss me, and work on myself so Im not needy, Im sober, working out, being productive. I just want her to work on herself as well, I told her this when I left her, told her she changed too much and doesnt need booze or anything, she recognized this, but its scary how one day she is so in love with me and the next she acts like she doesnt care (again most likley due to my neediness which is a life lesson and will never happen again). How long do you think I should wait before contacting? Will she contact me? I know I am on her mind all the time she always said this and its true, I cant get her out of my head as well. Im working on myself now to be the guy she first fell in love with. Can I get some opinions? Background info- she has an abusive past, and is a mix between innocent good girl and trashy. Like she will do "stuff" with me in a park at midnight which I find slutty, but at the same time she does much more stuff that is classy and very self respecting, some of her morals are ****ed, but most we share. I just want the new me to be with the old her, this breaks me, because I use to disrespect her a lot during fights BUT I also was in a way her bitch. Shed get mad and Id mostly take her where she wanted but Id also stand my ground. Some days I was alpha male as **** and sometimes I was a beta bitch telling her I loved her 3 times every hour. Im changing to be much more independent and confident which attracted her in the first place, but during our time I lost myself. ????

[loverboy99]

Anybody? Bump.