Kevin Kristopher Posted June 8, 2004 Share Posted June 8, 2004 Since about 7 months agp my ex didn't want to get back with me and we went the whole the whole school year, we are students at arizona state, as me being like her little puppet. So a couple of days ago i wanted to completely end the relationship but only because if i couldn't be with her then i couldn't be friends with her, it hurt to much and it was driving me crazy. So that couple of days ago we sort of like parted but this same situation has happened like 7 times already where i said i wasn't going to talk to her and i didn't want her to call me so i could get over her and move on with my life but she ended up calling and i fell back into my whole. so she called me today and left a message but this time it is serious and i don't want to talk to her, and she asked if i would call her. i dont want to because so far i think i've been doing good not talking to her even tho i haven't really been doing anything and i feel that if i call her the same things are going to happen where i'm gonna keep talking to her then she's gonna do something to really frustrate me and i hate it. so i was hoping to get some advice on what i should do Link to post Share on other sites
uriel Posted June 19, 2004 Share Posted June 19, 2004 Stay strong, Kevin. Don't call her. You're doing the right thing. Delete her message. Just leave it unanswered (emails, etc. etc.). If you see her in public, nod and keep going. Avoid news of her. Make this work. Find any non-destructive way you can to distract yourself when you get the urge. It's just like breaking any addiction. Train your habits and cravings in another direction -- go for a walk, work out, read a book, whatever works without ending up becoming just another bad habit. If you need further encouragement: Yes, she's going to hurt you again. She's done this, what, seven times? No fair. If she really cared about you, she'd either be with you or leave you alone. Seems like she cares more about herself. You deserve better. Until you're over her, you can't really make room in your life or heart for someone else. There's another girl out there who will return your feelings and rock your world. You may not believe it yet, but you'll find her when you're ready. Start preparing the way. No more wasting time on a girl who dumped you. -- uriel Link to post Share on other sites
dstnymusiq Posted June 20, 2004 Share Posted June 20, 2004 Wow, I totally understand... Me and my boyfriend broke up multiple times and we just both seemed so addicted to each other... while we were practically living together in school... well then a few days before I came back for summer school, he was staying home... i broke it off thinking I wanted it to be final... I was really just pissed and so tired of the "merry-go-round" him hurting me, me hurting him, just the huge cycle... anyhoo I broke it off and have regretted it ever since... this whole summer has been nothing but a roller coaster, because even though we're "seperated" we both know that we love each other too much to let go... all I'm saying is that obviously she must be "addicted" to you as well, or she wouldn't keep doing this to you... hurting you and then trying to get you back... I think it IS smart what you're doing... REAL time apart may prove whether or not you really need her in your life, how strong your love for her really is... and vice versa... if she really loves you she WILL wake up and see that she's losing you "don't know what you got till it's gone"... Just DON'T give in, let HER break before you do... let HER be the one to come crawling back to you... and when she does, don't just jump right in... but whatever you do DO NOT make her think you are the slight bit interested in another girl or her trust will be damaged pretty bad... If you somehow happen to realize you really don't love her and you don't really need her in your life, don't be a dick about it... and do NOT start something with anyone else until she understands that... If you do you will forever be considered the "bad guy" in her book... And about the not wanting to be friends if you can't be more... the all or nothing thing... I TOTALLY understand... Once all of my hope is completely gone that we will ever have another chance, I am not about to start being his "friend", sorry that's just not me... it's either love or hate... i'll love him to the death or I'll hate him because I love him and can't have him... NO in between Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kevin Kristopher Posted June 20, 2004 Author Share Posted June 20, 2004 yeah thanx for the advice and i feel real good about things and since you made me feel a lot better i was hoping you could comment on this post i posted a few weeks ago, i just copied and pasted it here but this is what happened to make me do this no contact thing and be serious about it. I found out that my ex-girlfriend has been recently talking to another guy behind my back and i say behind my back because though we're not together we do things like we're together and occasionally have sex but i desperately need to know what i should do. I mean she did find out that i hooked up with two other girls but i need to know if she really is looking for another man or what? an she can't still be mad at me for hooking up with these two other girls cuz she doesn't want a boyfriend. So i despertaley need help on what i should do, an i found out cuz i have her e-mail password an she e-mailed a friend saying that she went to visit him in san diego on her roadtrip back to northern california with her best friend. and i only checked her e-mail becuz i had access to it and temptation is a mother f*cker Link to post Share on other sites
uriel Posted June 21, 2004 Share Posted June 21, 2004 Kevin, Kevin, Kevin. You're not about to get off this merry-go-round are you? Why did you hook up with other girls -- was that all about your girlfriend? Why do you assume -- or even hope -- he talking to or sleeping with another guy is all about you? Consider that other men are attractive to her, boost her ego, seem like possibles for a future relationship, opportunity knocks, and etc. -- no different for her than for you. Obviously, your relationship with her had problems -- ones that you couldn't resolve when you were in it and aren't going to resolve now that you are half-way in and half-way out. The thing's a mess. Both of you aren't quite mature enough for a committed relationship yet. That, even more than what's between you two individually, is the bottom line. Focus on school and meeting your professional goals. Date, have fun, and experience more of life. Be honorable and safe, but don't get serious until you're ready for that. This isn't your time. If you don't want the emotional pain this current disintegrating relationship is bringing, get out firmly and stay out. It will be hard giving up the emotional and sexual connection, but that will level out your life and put your attention on more positive things. BTW, ask her to change her email password if you have to -- tell her you can't stop yourself from invading her privacy. She'll change it unless she's got some desire to torture you and air her business... Good luck -- uriel Link to post Share on other sites
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