ProjectSiK Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 What's up, LS? I knew I'd find myself back here again at some point. I'm happy to say that I'm in a better place than I was when I first started browsing this forum though. A little recap: My girl of 3 1/2 years split with me back in July. After numerous attempts to win her back or even maintain some kind of friendship, I called it quits. She was worried about my feelings being an issue and after failing I decided to go NC. I deleted her, all of her friends (whom I thought were my friends while we were dating but they all ceased to communicate with me after we broke up) and went on with my life. I made a few new friends and started going out just and just enjoying life. Still haven't explored dating grounds nor have I "gotten with" other women. The idea of it just bothers me and I don't think I'm willing to start anything like that just yet. Throughout these four months, her birthday passes along with the obvious holidays. I contemplated sending her a birthday message but I decided it would be best to not say anything. I have no regrets. Now, you're probably asking why am I here writing. My birthday was two days ago, I really wasn't expecting her to say anything after my lack of communication. Well, she did. Even though I try to avoid doing this, I think it'd be best if I posted exactly how the conversation went: Her:I know we haven't spoke in a while and I don't know if that's because you've been waiting for me to initiate something or if you just don't want to talk to me... I'm guessing you don't want anything to do with me.. I think you may have had me blocked for a while... But I just wanted to wish you a happy birthday and I hope you're having a fantastic day. Me:The lack of communication had nothing to do with me hoping you would initiate it, nor does it mean I want nothing to do with you. The best I can say is our story was written and that book has closed. Regardless, thank you for the birthday wishes. How is everything on your end? About three more messages were exchanged, she told me "she can respect that..." along with she just wanted to say hi. I thanked her again, said I was glad to hear she was doing well and told her I hope that she's happy and maybe sometime in the future we could meet up for coffee to which she replied "I'd like that." I didn't reply after that. Now, I'm not here looking for false hope. I'm here because I do love her, I may no longer be in love with her but I still think very highly of her and she is someone I know I will always be there for. The idea of having a friendship with her is something I'd like very much. I'm here looking for your opinion mostly... From here on out, my idea was to let her be the one to initiate the coffee meeting. Is that how I should take this or should I take the next step and ask her to meet within a few months? I definitely know I'm somewhat healed from this and I know I will never "get" her back because I would not take her back I guess I just need some guidance because I would like to catch up with her just as friends. Link to post Share on other sites
hudson701 Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 Definitely wait until she initiates contact and proposes a meeting. You will know for certain then she is up for it and you haven't coaxed her into doing anything she doesn't want to do. Be strong, keep doing what you're doing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Maybe1 Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 Wow you're doing great!!! I would definitely wait for her to initiate the coffee catch up. Who knows when it will be but I think you would feel even better if you waited for her. I've been going NC contact for 5 weeks and you've just inspired me to keep it up too! Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts