organic chemistry Posted March 26, 2004 Share Posted March 26, 2004 [font=arial][/font][color=black][/color] did anyone read the book called "How to get your lover back" by Blase Harris???? i picked that up in bookstore, read it... also i found some gd comments on amazon. just wondering did anyone read it and find it really successful to follow the tactics? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted March 26, 2004 Share Posted March 26, 2004 There are many books such as this out there with similar titles. They are akin to diet books. Every vulnerable, hurting person is looking for a way to get out of the pain and what better way than to go to the bookstore and buy an easy guide for doing so. While it may occupy their time, as many don't loose weight from diet books...or take it off only to gain it back, in some cases a relationship can be restored and in lots of cases they can't be. If a relationship is meant to be, it will happen despite any books with strategies. However, they will always be printed and I always say a prayer hoping the author printed the book out of a sincere desire to help and not out of a motive to profit from those in despair. Human beings are far too complex to expect to be able to read a book and get somebody back as a result. Weight problems are far too complex to expect to read a book and shave off 25 pounds in six months. There's a lot more involved. In the case of a break up, there are two people's emotions involved as well as motivations, conflicting goals, personalities, etc. Perhaps a set of strategies can help in the short term...but a book can't do anything to make another person WANT to be with someone if they felt strongly enough about getting away from them that they broke up. I prefer books to help keep relationships going well BEFORE they get to the critical stage of going sour. Link to post Share on other sites
white_angelbreath Posted March 26, 2004 Share Posted March 26, 2004 i agree. i bought a lot of books, read a lot of articles when "deep inside my heart is breaking into two" and hoped that what i read i might learn from them to hope and believe in second chances. i did read them and were helpful and enlightening but the pain of heartbreak is still inside me. i realized that they did good but not good enough because they offered a bit of an escape for me not to feel the pain and the heartache. it is only when i embraced the truth -- which is knowing that i only held on to the unhealthy relationship because of fear (actually lots of fear and anxiety of what will happen next to me, to him, and to the relationship). for me, what the book is giving is just false hope, but not bad to read it anyway. knowledge is power they say. probably there is truth in what the book advises. It is for you to discover. Link to post Share on other sites
UCFKevin Posted March 26, 2004 Share Posted March 26, 2004 Tony's dead on. No amount of wooing or doing nice stuff will get someone back who doesn't want to come back on their own. Let it be. Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted March 26, 2004 Share Posted March 26, 2004 I'm with the guys on this one. I don't see how any tactic in the world would make someone love you. You may be able to manipulate a response of sorts....but in the end it wouldn't be the real thing. Link to post Share on other sites
lost_in_chgo Posted March 27, 2004 Share Posted March 27, 2004 No amount of wooing or doing nice stuff will get someone back who doesn't want to come back on their own. The corrolary to that would be that if they want to come back, a little wooing doesn't hurt. Determining the desire is the real trick. (or you slam, bolt and weld the door shut of course Link to post Share on other sites
Author organic chemistry Posted March 28, 2004 Author Share Posted March 28, 2004 the whole no contact thing, i mean it is in human nature that everyone has to lose before he/she starts to appreciate? i have seen it work in my friends' case......after a while they really come back on their own.... but not on my case.... Link to post Share on other sites
AshleyB Posted March 29, 2004 Share Posted March 29, 2004 I have the book and yes, I found it helpful. It will not and does not "promise" to get them back, but it does in reality greatly improve your chances of getting them back. It worked for the author and it worked for me as in means of attracting my ex back to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author organic chemistry Posted March 29, 2004 Author Share Posted March 29, 2004 thx i think i kinda believe in the book....i dunno.... do the tactics from the book + some degree of no contact i think that'll be the best bet... i'm not saying focusing all my efforts to follow the tactics and wait for him to come back. life goes on too......and i may meet a better one.....but dun hurt to try get him back while i dun meet the one yet... stay strong everyone Link to post Share on other sites
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