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Is she testing the waters?


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hey everyone.

 

just met with ex-gf for a cup of coffee..the meet up went well and there was a lot of laughing and joking...it seems like the old chemistry is still there..

 

anyway, so during the meet up, i was stroking her head gently like last time when we are still together..she tell me that she really miss this and really enjoyed it.. and then to my surprise, there are suddenly tears in her eyes and she start sobbing...she tell me that its been quite a while since she feel so doted on..

 

then she start to ask me, "if i break up with my current bf, will u come back to me?" i did not give her a straight reply and just say "maybe"..throughout the conversation, she ask me a couple of times whether i still have feelings for her..

 

so, what do you all think? is she testing the waters? she tell me that she is not really happy with her current relationship, so is she trying to see whether she could come back to me?

 

anyway, for those people that have not been following my story, this is a little background story..my ex and i have been together for 5yrs, 10 mths ago, she left me for another guy(her current bf)..i have not been contacting her, but she will call from time to time..

 

thanks everyone...

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headonstraight
hey everyone.

 

then she start to ask me, "if i break up with my current bf, will u come back to me?" i did not give her a straight reply and just say "maybe"..throughout the conversation, she ask me a couple of times whether i still have feelings for her..

 

so, what do you all think?

 

  1. She left you once
  2. She now suggests leaving her current BF
  3. If it were me, I'd steer clear. She is probably likely to perform #1 again (she can't be trusted).

But that's just me. :-) My ex left me back in mid-June and I will never look back - only forward.

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she just wants to see if she can have you back. Asking hypothetical questions like if...

 

My ex did this same thing to me. We were together 6 years too. Had a very deep connection(I thought) She actually told me she was leaving her boyfriend and wanted me back. I told her yes and she never left him. If you tell her that you would take her back then she will have that peace of mind to go about her business with the new guy and maybe fall in love with him. If you tell her maybe or you dont think so then this new guy will end up becoming annoying to her. Almost like she will blame him for losing you. You did well!!

 

This happened to me 6 or 7 months ago. She actually tried the same crap with me again recently I told her no. I heard some really good advice from someone and its exactly what I told my ex.

 

I told her that I want a woman who cannot imagine her world without me. And she could because she has already tried to make her world without me.

 

Everyone should be looking for a love like that and she is not it my friend!

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Sounds like she was testing the waters to see what else is out there. I feel like my ex is doing the same right now. Sometimes it takes being with someone else for awhile to realize they want.

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I've had this happen to me before - to the point where the person actually thinks we're getting back together. If you want to get back together, that's your choice, but just remember why you split in the first place - if it was for distance, and you now live closer together, go for it, if it was because there were personality differences/cheating/etc., stay away.

 

She's definitely testing the waters and trying to see if you're still wrapped around her fingers. I have always told them, "no, we're not getting back together", and I've never felt bad for doing it. In the same breadth, I was always over them when this conversation happened...I can imagine it being much more difficult if you still have feelings.

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I agree. You need to wait until she's not just jumping from relationship to relationship. The fact that her leaving her current bf is contingent upon your feelings for her is a definite warning sign. She left you for him, she's leaving him for you...this just isn't going to end well until she's able to be single and commit to one relationship.

 

Do you really want to be with a girl who's willing to jump around like that?

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