lumbeeman Posted May 21, 2012 Share Posted May 21, 2012 (edited) I met her about about a year and a half after my split from my ex wife of 12 years . We had been dating for 5 and a half years and engaged for the last 4 years. I caught her in a lie. Basically she has been distant lately and never spends the night on weekends anymore. Friday night , we talked at about 830 and I told her i'd call back before I went to bed, as we had plans for Saturday.I was going to go over and surprise her Friday night. At about 950 or so I tried to call her back and got no answer and I saw she was just on Facebook a few minutes before. She wasn't answering my calls or my texts, I had this gut feeling something was wrong so I decided to go by her house. Well she wasn't home and at first I didn't think too much into it. I figured she was at Walmart or something. I went back home and tried calling and texting again. This isn't like her to not reply at all, I was getting worried. So I went by again and she still wasn't there, I thought "did something bad happen to her" I was worried as this has never happened before. I drove by a couple more time through the night and was on the verge of calling the hospitals and such, like I said this has never happened in the whole time we've been together. at 730ish she returns one of my texts and I call her and asks was she ok and what happened to her phone, but any she claims to have been home all night and then I called her out on it and she tries to change her story. saying she was at her ex s house while he went to the ER and she stayed there with her son. she has done that before as her son stays there on weekends and he ex has some medical issues. The times she said she was there and claimed to have come back home didn't match at all. she seemed to be caught off guard. I got pissed and told her to come get her things and it was over. (I overreacted I know) but she didn't try to explain she just came and got her things while i was at the store. she wouldn't answer any of my calls or texts for a while , then when she did she said there was there explaining because she was were she she said she was. she came back over Saturday evening to get the rest of her things and couldn't look me in the eye at all and her body language was all turned away from me. I asked her why she lied and she says there is no why because I told you were I was and said she didn't want to go through this again. she left and I texted later that night saying come back and that I needed her. I called her that night and she was crying and I asked her if she still loved me and she said yes. She said she didn't know what to say and she had to get her thoughts together. Well since then I have heard nothing from her, she wont answer my calls or texts at all. I wonder if she is ignoring me because there is a lot more behind her being gone on Friday night. I was really upset when i confronted her Saturday morning. Am I crazy or what? I feel empty inside. (I know I might have left out some details but I can answer any questions) Edited May 21, 2012 by lumbeeman lefot out info Link to post Share on other sites
Reddice Posted May 21, 2012 Share Posted May 21, 2012 Oh yeah... she's cheating on you. Your story has a lot of similarities with mine. You can read it if you wish. Only thing you can do right now is cut her out of your life. Go NC asap. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lumbeeman Posted May 21, 2012 Author Share Posted May 21, 2012 Oh yeah... she's cheating on you. Your story has a lot of similarities with mine. You can read it if you wish. Only thing you can do right now is cut her out of your life. Go NC asap. I went through hell with the breakup with my ex wife years ago, but this time its different. It hurts but not like when you have kids and a house with someone. She has been married and divorced three times and I wonder if this is a good thing that happened. Link to post Share on other sites
Reddice Posted May 21, 2012 Share Posted May 21, 2012 I went through hell with the breakup with my ex wife years ago, but this time its different. It hurts but not like when you have kids and a house with someone. She has been married and divorced three times and I wonder if this is a good thing that happened. It depends on what you consider to be a good thing. I have the impression however, that you were either suspecting something already or that you were not so sure of a future with her anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lumbeeman Posted May 21, 2012 Author Share Posted May 21, 2012 It depends on what you consider to be a good thing. I have the impression however, that you were either suspecting something already or that you were not so sure of a future with her anyway. I had my suspicions as she didn't stay over at night anymore. She grew very distant, stopped saying "I love you". So yeah I was suspecting things already, but also would think that I was over analyzing things due to my previous marriage where she lied all the time. Link to post Share on other sites
rAFC Posted May 22, 2012 Share Posted May 22, 2012 Sorry to say, but I'm going to have to agree with Reddice here. It really sounds like she was cheating on you. I know it is difficult, but your best option is to cut all contact and move on with your life. She hasn't been honest with you at all. Look at it this way: better now than after marriage, kids and a mortgage, you already know how those things can complicate the situation. Try not to let this experience affect your future relationships. Take some time to heal and know that not all women are like that. Besides, the best revenge is to lead a happy, successful life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lumbeeman Posted May 22, 2012 Author Share Posted May 22, 2012 Sorry to say, but I'm going to have to agree with Reddice here. It really sounds like she was cheating on you. I know it is difficult, but your best option is to cut all contact and move on with your life. She hasn't been honest with you at all. Look at it this way: better now than after marriage, kids and a mortgage, you already know how those things can complicate the situation. Try not to let this experience affect your future relationships. Take some time to heal and know that not all women are like that. Besides, the best revenge is to lead a happy, successful life. Very true Indeed. Even though I know what its like, I vowed to never let another woman have this much power over me again. That obviously didn't work. I know things will get better but it sure doesn't seem like it. My relationship with my ex-wife was awful to say the least but this one was not bad at all. I guess that makes it that much harder to swallow. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lumbeeman Posted May 24, 2012 Author Share Posted May 24, 2012 seems like I did jump the gun, she was where she said she was, hear I was thinking of anything I could to make the sting less. I screwed up:( Link to post Share on other sites
Tiera D Posted May 24, 2012 Share Posted May 24, 2012 yup she is at her exes house but can u prove that nothing happened in there..my current girl wishes to meet her exes mum time to time,the ex is at another state,wonder should i be worried but anyway i think we both should not put all our eggs in one basket TD Link to post Share on other sites
Reddice Posted May 24, 2012 Share Posted May 24, 2012 seems like I did jump the gun, she was where she said she was, hear I was thinking of anything I could to make the sting less. I screwed up:( She said she was home while she wasn't. So she didn't tell you the truth at all! It wasn't until you confronted her with this that she told you where she was (I still doubt if it's true though). You noticed her getting more distant, she didn't want to sleep over anymore. Seriously, your ex wife lied constantly and she knows this. How can she expect you to just accept her lies? You had to learn the hard way that a lie is a lie, no matter how big it is. You probably accepted a lot of BS from your ex and it came back to bite you in your ass, so you're right for not wanting to go through this again. You were right to get mad at her. You were right to break it off. As long as she can't be 100% honest with you, there can be no basis for a good relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Alice2012 Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 She has been married and divorced three times Good Lord . . . run as fast as you can from this woman. Link to post Share on other sites
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