michealseto Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 Me and my ex went out for about 2 years. We fell hard and fast and everything was great for the time being. After about a year and a half, this weren't going so well and we eventually broke up. I was completely devastated about the break up and would've tried anything to get her back. After a month, I tried speaking with her again and everything was fine. We got along. Then one day I tried speaking with her and I noticed she was kind of depressed. I asked her what was wrong and she said that she would prefer not to speak with me anymore. I was shattered, but I respected her wishes. Months after no contact, she calls me and tells me that she misses our friendship and would like to resume our companionship. She also mentions she has a boyfriend who seems distant and she wants my advice on him. I agree to be friends and even helped her out with her relationship. We even had one phone conversation where everything was great again, as if we were in a relationship once more. I begin to realize I still love her. Recently, however, she's just acting cold to me again. She only contacts me when she needs something. I'd appreciate any advice given on the matter. I have an idea of what really going on, but would like the opinions of others. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
stab17 Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 hey man, sorry you're going through this. I mean she sounds very selfish about herself and only cares about herself. do you really want a girl like that in your life? I wouldn't call it friendship if it's one sided. chances are she is now happy with her current boyfriend that's why she's acting cold towards you. The answer is simple, go NC and stop trying to contact her as you will only push her away. Link to post Share on other sites
Author michealseto Posted March 9, 2012 Author Share Posted March 9, 2012 Thanks for the advice. I appreciate it. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Scorpio Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 From the sounds of it, you are her fallback. When she has a bad day, when she is having relationship problems, when she is feeling depressed then she might call you. You are her old, warm blanket that is comfortable and familar. Nothing more. Link to post Share on other sites
Author michealseto Posted March 9, 2012 Author Share Posted March 9, 2012 That's exactly what I was thinking. Thanks for the advice. Link to post Share on other sites
goldengirl11 Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 So how can that be changed, being the fallback that is? By going NC until they contact you again? When they most likely get dumped rather than the other way round? I'm in a similar position. Link to post Share on other sites
Fitz Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 So how can that be changed, being the fallback that is? By going NC until they contact you again? When they most likely get dumped rather than the other way round? I'm in a similar position. By moving on and finding someone new, that's how. Otherwise, it's pretty tough breaking out of the fallback role. Perhaps, you could work on yourself so that you are more attractive to your ex? Workout, loose extra weight, buy some new clothes... Link to post Share on other sites
CC12 Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 You should probably stop being friends with her. Your friendship has gotten weird if she's using you or being rude or cold. Also, you're in love with her, so this is in no way just a friendship for you anymore. You're a lot more invested than she is, which makes sense on account of her having a new boyfriend and all. Link to post Share on other sites
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