dumpee applying nc to the point that dumper thinks dumpee never really loved them?

[adagio012]

My ex and I have dated for about 7months. Then things went wrong. He does things without considering my feelings, dislikes communicating about issues. As for myself, he thinks I don't love him as much as he loves me (which is not true) and I am quite independent.

On the day he told me he wanted to breakup, after all the crying and talking I felt broken and immediately packed all my stuff and left him at his apartment (packing wasn't difficult because i stayed at his place during that weekend). I immediately applied NC and attempt to live my life without him.

 

Here's another problem, I couldn't completely disappear from his life because we work at the same workplace and i would sometimes see him when he passes by the area I work in. Since then, I've been avoiding him and one time I accidentally took a glimpse of him and caught him looking at me and I glared back at him. So yes, I've been really mean to him... and i'm sure it's not uncommon for a dumpee to act like that.

When his birthday came, I was contemplating whether to message or call him or do nothing at all (since I was still angry), but later ended up being nice and messaged him very late that night. He thanked me a couple hours later and nothing more, and then it was back to NC again ever since.

However, I am leaving my company soon for a better position at another company and the news is circulating the workplace. I heard lots of people were sad about the news, especially him.

 

My question is... if I kept doing NC and never reach out to him unless he reaches out to me, will he end up thinking that I never really loved him that much and will eventually never contact me? I know I've been quite hostile with him. After all, I have no obligation to talk to him since he was the one who ended it.

However, I would like to apologize to him someday after I leave by breaking NC and pour out all my feelings to let him know that I actually missed him terribly but don't know if it's any worth it.

We are not friends because I cannot be friends with an ex along with the love&hate feelings floating around and I am still upset with some things he said to me on the night of the breakup. Thanks

[Yuzuki]

I'm afraid I don't really have an answer to your question (and it probably depends on your history together and his personality), but I'm also curious about people's opinions on this. I also work with my ex and used to spend the weekends at his place before he broke up with me, and I've been ignoring him/glaring at him ever since.

 

But I assume that if you've made it clear to him that you loved him during the relationship, then he won't suddenly start doubting that you did and it's no more than common sense that those feelings wouldn't suddenly be gone after the breakup either.

[shayla]

When he broke up with you, he lost the right and the priviledge of being loved and cared about by you. What he does and thinks is no longer your concern.

 

Please take the effort you are using to think about him to think of yourself and your bright, beautiful future. Your life after healing.

 

Good luck.

[adagio012]

Thanks. But I think I've been really mean to him and it hurt him. I know that when I'm completely gone, I'll miss him even more. Many times throughout the NC, I've been tempted to call or text him to say that I miss him but everytime when i think of doing it, the memory of the reasons of why he wanted to breakup keeps replaying in my mind and that was what held me back.

Although NC has made me strong and made me realize I am actually better off without him, but at the same time I think I've been ignoring and pushing him away. I just know that he is hurt just as much as me from all of this.

I just wonder that if I finally seek him out and communicate with him will make things a little better for the both of us... i'm not asking to reconcile but just to talk... but i'm not sure if it will make me look like a fool.