Jump to content

I Miss her dearly. Should I call her?


Recommended Posts

Ok this is going to be a bit long but stick with me please I really need advice.

 

So in september of 2010 my girlfriend of 3 and a half years whom I had been living with and wanted to marry me broke up with me. She said she loves me but didint feel in love. At the time we were going thrugh very hard financial times. I lost my job and the future didint look too good. She has a degree I dont.(working on it still) She was moving along with her career I have yet to start one.im 24 I was lost as many people are at that age about life in general. I now am on a good track. Anyways I went nuts. Perplexed as to how this person I shared such deep emotions and connections no longer wanted to be with me or even try. I went crazy. I left the state for a month came back cryed yelled begged the whole nine yards. But everytime I wanted to see her She saw me. but everytime ended in arguments. till this day I cant undersand. Anyways its been 2 months we havent spoken a word i have been very strong giving her space and myself some. She is very strong. stronger than i could ever be emotionaly so I could wait my whole life for her to come around and I know she wont.(stubborn as a mule) I want to see her I miss her. but im also doing well. I cleared my mind (not of her) found a job decided on a career got a new car lost weight gained muscle, working on confidence, have notice women interested in me but at the end of the day when I lay my head on this pillow shes in my head, the relationship is in my head, the pain is in my chest .Im also scared that the crazy me might come back. I need help. What should I do. I was thinking of calling her. If she picks up maybe a five min talk and ask for a lunch date. i dont know. help :mad::lmao: not a day goes by I dont think of her....dont get me wrong im a different person emotionally and even physically then i was when this mess started but it just dosent feel right without her in my life. i have no desire for women other than sexually by nature my body is yearning for it but Im scared to lose her forever if I have sex with another person. not to mention its not fair the the new girl that I have 0 interest in a relationship. i dont know Im writing kinda random and sloppy I apologize. Please let me know what you think?

Link to post
Share on other sites

Let her go and move forward with your life. People waste so much time cycling in and out of relationships that they have to work way too hard on in the first place. The split seems to have left both of you in better places, which I think is a good indicator of your relationship with her.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I wouldn't contact her yet....you're not ready. You're panicked. The only way you should contact her is if you're willing to accept whatever she tells you, without begging yelling etc...I would honestly take more time to work on you emotional stability and patience. Talk to someone about everything that is bothering you...it's ok to ask for help. You're gonna do fine, just leave her alone until you're ready.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

i keep going through withdraws like this whole week I have been down and I was doing so good. Now im on the verge of a breakdown and feel like I haven't made any progress now........i just dont get it.

Link to post
Share on other sites
i keep going through withdraws like this whole week I have been down and I was doing so good. Now im on the verge of a breakdown and feel like I haven't made any progress now........i just dont get it.

 

Well I understand everything you are feeling and going through. It feels very bad inside like someone reached into your body and stole your world and left you empty. Just existing but not really living. Just trying to make it through the day acting like you are fine. Yep, thats it.

 

What I realized that really helped me, was accept that he was going to be in my head for a long while but I really loved him....But that didnt mean that I wasnt accepting and moving forward with my own life.

 

To this day, my ex is still on my mind and I havent spoken to him since February 2011. Apparently, Im still on his because he text me today to tell me so and say hi. Now, Im thinking about him very strong today. I would love to talk to him and everything but I dont feel good about it and I dont have time to be taken down emotionally. The ball is in my court but I just know about it.

 

My point is SHE IS GOING TO BE ON YOUR MIND. Just accept it. You are doing the right thing by doing other things because it helps you come out of it but still, she will be there for awhile. You are really doing a good job. It hurts and she is moving on. You have to do the same. You have to.

Link to post
Share on other sites

This is going to be one of the hardest things you will ever have to deal with.

 

Having said that you have to stay strong. My ex left me for another man 5 yrs ago. I beg and pleaded for her to come back. And I just acted really pathetic and needy. I finally found the courage to stand on my on two feet and decided to cut all communication. That is the only real way to get over someone IMO.

 

Just stay strong!

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

thanks for the support guys. I cant seem to wrap my head around it. I want to move on but then again I dont. I have the true love feeling in my heart and always did with her. we were perfect and I just cant seem to let go. I dont know what im going to do. Its eating at me little by little. I saw her picture on facebook last night and it made me cry. Im freaking grown man......

Link to post
Share on other sites

I know how you feel but in my situation I'm trying to love her enough to let her go. there is so much I want to say about my situation but I dont want to bring you down to my level because I am embarrassed and hurt and ashamed.

 

I love ________ but she needs her space and I need mine right now. we've both broken down and as much as I miss her...need her- cannot be her friend because I will not watch her walk into the arms of another man - I have to maintain NC from last week and press forward seeking my own healing and happiness.

 

I dont know what to say to those that are hurting except to hold on for dear life, have compassion for others and do good things with yourself - dont hurt yourself. Please Love yourself.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 1 month later...
anurupabjoshi

It feels like having feelings for someone is a bad point of being human being among many good points. My girlfriend also broke-up with me two months ago after an eight-year relationship and went with another guy. I needed to cry in the begining. I also begged with her to come back saying "everything I have is for you and I have everything for you". However, that was what I thought but not she.

 

In two months period I talked 3 times with her (one very short talk and two quite longer). After every talk I felt even worse than before. She clearly said that she doesn't want to be with me anymore, although she will remain a friend.

 

Just now I am writing here, I have such a desire to call her (I want and I want) but I cannot call her because I know the situation will be worse for me than one hour ago. It's she who left me and now I am doing better and will keep it up. If I was good for her, she will search me again otherwise I cannot be with someone who does not want to be with me.

 

In your case, you are already ahead. You already made huge progress. Now you are you and I think you shouldn't search any relation with your ex putting yourself down. Falling in love with someone is a chance among so many in this world. Your last relation was also a chance and there will come another better chance for you. You need to be proud of yourself. You have nothing to regret since you were honest and loyal, right! If moments of regret will come, that will be for your ex-. If she takes any initiation to come bakc, then you can give place for her otherwise it's better to let it go.

 

As 9Lives has already said, SHE WILL BE IN YOU MIND since brain is a pot of memory and accept it. As the time passes, the memory fades away.

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...