CrazyMiner Posted April 23, 2011 Share Posted April 23, 2011 Hi everyone, Hope your all enjoying the bank holiday weekend, at least those in the UK anyway! Just a quick note with some advice needed really. My ex left me going on 2 months ago after a 8 year relationship. We have had limited contacted since, meeting up once a fortnight to have a catch up and discuss house matters (we joint own a property) but haven't been talking in between meets. The last time we met, which was going on 2 weeks ago, she was quite cold at first and so to be honest I was about to enter a deeper NC route as I didn't want to appear to be the 'needy ex' or just beating a dead horse, if you'll pardon the pun. However, yesterday she text me asking how renting the house out was going and wishing me a good bank holiday weekend with a 'x' at the end. I sent back a short message that basically said "all is under control, 2 viewings booked in for next week". No kisses, no good wishes, just trying to keep it nonchalant. She then phoned me a few hours later to ask the same sort of thing again, in terms of what days the viewings had been booked in for and said that if I needed her to do anything or to be there just to let her know. She then asked about which benefits were available to someone who was unemployed as it would save her doing the research herself and we discussed this for about 5 - 10 minutes (it was for one of her friends). She then emailed me this morning asking if I could take a look at one of her friends CV's as they were thinking of looking for a new job. I've not responded yet. Now it does all seem a bit cheeky, especially the CV bit. I'm thinking that she may be trying to continue going down the friend route which is what we both agreed to do with a very minimal view of still giving each other space to breath and then potentially dating after a while (I know, I know, not the most ideal of situations but we grew up together). Is she reaching out? Is she just using me? Is she trying to approach a friend who she knows can explain the benefits system and can put together a good CV as I have designed them professionally before? Is she testing the waters to see how she feels? I find it all a bit confusing especially as she has been so cold over the past few weeks. Link to post Share on other sites
bernardverh Posted April 23, 2011 Share Posted April 23, 2011 This might be reaching out. I don't have so much information about your situation, but I get the impressing you're handling things pretty well. Stay relaxed, keep responding in a formal manner and see what happens. One thing is sure, if you reach out for her now, she will be cold again. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted April 23, 2011 Share Posted April 23, 2011 To early to tell if it is a reachout or not. Link to post Share on other sites
Fufu Posted April 23, 2011 Share Posted April 23, 2011 Don't read into it too much. I agree with dreamingoftigers, it's too early to tell. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CrazyMiner Posted April 24, 2011 Author Share Posted April 24, 2011 Thanks guys. When she called to ask about the benefits etc she said about meeting up next week. I'll see what she's like then and will let you know. If she is still cold I'm going to tell her it's time to go down the LC route and just phone/email discuss the house, no face to face meetings for a while. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CrazyMiner Posted April 25, 2011 Author Share Posted April 25, 2011 Hi everyone, Hope you all had a good weekend! Quick question - I'm meant to be meeting up with the ex this week and would appreciate some advice on how to handle it. As mentioned above, the last time we met she was pretty cold but she called on the weekend about something trivial and sounded pretty upbeat. I've ordered some new clothes that I wouldn't usually wear to try and get across that I am moving on and show how that I'm changing. Do I act cold as she did last time? Do I just copy her personality on the day? Do I suggest a meal or just to go for a drink (we would both have to drive approximately 30 minutes each way to meet so alcohol can't really play a big part which is why we've gone more for meals in the past). Some advice would be great. I want to get these meets right and potentially start to build back up the closeness we had for many years in our relationship with the possible view of getting back together sometime, or at the very least remaining friends. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CrazyMiner Posted April 25, 2011 Author Share Posted April 25, 2011 Just as a quick update she has just phoned and we chatted for about 15 minutes. Nothing in depth, just about the house and renting it out, what we had done over the easter weekend etc. She then mentioned about meeting up, and started to list the days she couldn't meet this week. First tomorrow is out, then the day after, then the day after that, etc. Basically the only day she can apparently meet is Friday when she is going to her grandparents for dinner. She said I could come along if I liked (I am very close to her grand parents and love them a lot, basically treated them as my own etc). I said I was also pretty busy this week and then she said that we could perhaps have a phone catch up next week. Is she fobbing me off? Letting me down slowly? Or am I just reading too much into it? Link to post Share on other sites
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