crimsonskies Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 I had originally started a thread in the breaking up forum but have not had any replies, so thought i'd have a go on here. I'm feeling really lost and confused, my bf and i were together for over a year things seemed to be going well until about a month ago when he grew distant. Then 2 weeks ago after spending new year's together he breaks up with me. A few days previously he had spent the night and we slept together and it was great, and in the morning we went said goodbye as we usually do. Then he just goes a bit strange over the next few days, not really texting and when he does he says he's having some financial problems on top of working lots of hours and having to study for uni. Two days later he breaks up with me, says he's not happy anymore that he didnt mean to hurt me and that he still cares about me. Which to some part i believe. But why sleep with me if he had intentions of breaking up with me? He's not a bad guy and doesn't do game playing or anything like that so I can't hate him for this. He's the type of guy who doesn't talk about problems, he keeps them bottled up and i am the same, for most of the part. And i know a part of his unhappiness may have been caused by me ( i was really depressed with my job, having money problems which really stressed me out and i unhappy about not spending enough time with him, which in turn made me feel quite resentful not towards him but it made me negative person, and i felt drained, but i still wanted to hang out with him and do special things, however i cant help but wonder if this mixed with his stressful situation may have spurred him into ending it) I didn't treat him badly, I even came home early from the christmas holidays to look after his pet and do his laundry for him as he was out of town. So i know it couldn't have been that i neglected him or anything, maybe i was being to available or something. So anyway its been 2 weeks and we've had NC but i've seen him about a few times, especially walking past my place of work and trying to look in to see me (im guessing maybe he feels guilt for hurting me and wants to see if im ok) his friends say he's happy but when i see him walking past (which he doesn't have to as there are shortcuts to his work and this is walking around the long way to get there) he seems downcast. The other day he was standing in the street talking to someone and i hadn't realised it was him until too late but he was at a safe enough distance for me not to have to say hi or anything, we had eye contact for a few seconds, and seemed to lose focus on the person he was talking to and just kept watching me as i walked past. I really miss him and have nothing but love for him, and everytime i see or think about him it makes me feel so heartbroken that this happened. I don't know what to do. I dont feel like i have closure to move on but then i cant let go of hope of getting back together. What should I do? Should I stay in NC or maybe text him even though my friends say not to as i wont get the response im hoping for? Its just a confusing situation because i cannot hate him for doing the right thing for himself. Link to post Share on other sites
bubbles5 Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 Just go and talk to him,secondly he is hiding things frm u prolly cos u kept telling ur problems earlier so he would have thought that , You may not listen to his problems that he might b going through. This distance that he is keeping is bcos he might have to think twice before having any conversation with you. What that means is your bf may not b comfortable in expressing things so easily with you. I would say meet him talk to him as person to person privately n listen to him.Make him feel you still love him, Do something like give him flowers when you meet him.He is definetly hiding his problems. Link to post Share on other sites
Author crimsonskies Posted January 31, 2011 Author Share Posted January 31, 2011 The thing is I wouldn't know what to say. I don't know how to approach him. I'm scared of being rejected again. I mean when he broke up he said I could contact him if I wanted but would understand if I didn't, but I don't know if he was just saying that to make it easier on me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author crimsonskies Posted January 31, 2011 Author Share Posted January 31, 2011 also looking on his facebook he doesn't seem to be affected by the breakup by his statuses. Just as if nothing had ever happened and I dont exist....which also makes me think twice about contacting me. I was thinking of maybe talking to a friend of his to see whether it would be a good idea to talk to him, he may not even want to talk to me Link to post Share on other sites
worlybear Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 Go talk to him. You will have no peace until you have some closure.:bunny: Link to post Share on other sites
Author crimsonskies Posted January 31, 2011 Author Share Posted January 31, 2011 what's the safest approach though? as i cant just turn up on his doorstep it would make things worse. Link to post Share on other sites
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