gator12 Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 need some help guys please. i know this text means nothing, its been about a month and a half since no contact, two and a half since the break up. she just sent me the text a minute ago all it said was "hey". i don't wanna know the why unless you guys have ideas. i know i need to ignore this if she wants me back right now she's make it clear. i just need opinions and reassurance, i feel like i just got really weak after all the progress i made. please help. Link to post Share on other sites
Shatter3d Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 I would seriously ignore this text it means nothing at all, it's one of the smallest crumbs you will find. She is just dangling the carrot to see if you are still there, don't fall for it. Ignore the text and let her wonder why you haven't replied.. Curiosity kills the cat. Us girls hate being ignored, sooner or later she will send another text with something hopefully more substantial. You've done well so far, keep strong and just ignore everything until it's what you want to hear. Goodluck, keep us updated. Link to post Share on other sites
NeNinja Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 A text is pretty weak. So that makes a one word text... You know your ex and your situation better than anyone. If I got a text from my ex on a Friday night that said 'Hey.' I would be thinking she's out, she's drinking, and she got a little brave. But this is your ex and your situation...what you do with it is up to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author gator12 Posted January 29, 2011 Author Share Posted January 29, 2011 thanks for the opinions guys, im definitly not replying to this one, i just got this feeling of weakness as soon as i saw her name though, which is why i needed the reassurance. and yea that's not like her ninja, she's not old enough to be out drinking, idk. i just needed reassurance. i knew she'd contact again, i just didn't expect my reaction to be so weak. Link to post Share on other sites
NeNinja Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 It's tough. I know. But don't be impulsive. Try not to think about it. Wait on it. And here's what happens if you do break it: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t262748/ So don't! Also...I'm not so lame that I'm home lurking on LS on a Friday Night. I'm so lame that I'm babysitting my niece on a Friday Night. Link to post Share on other sites
Author gator12 Posted January 29, 2011 Author Share Posted January 29, 2011 lol yea i was out when she texted me, i did this post and everything from my phone lol, i've got better things to do on a friday. but right now i've got exams to study for ugh. lol Link to post Share on other sites
Author gator12 Posted January 30, 2011 Author Share Posted January 30, 2011 Just got contacted again. "Are you awake" It's 12 right now, I'm on facebook talking to someone on my wall, she clearly knows i'm awake, advice please? Link to post Share on other sites
Duckduckgoose Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 Ignore her till she can make a sentence with at least 6 words. And if/when you do respond be like "Sorry been busy. What's up?" That's if you respond. Its gonna drive her insane if you don't respond. Link to post Share on other sites
Author gator12 Posted January 30, 2011 Author Share Posted January 30, 2011 I should wait at least a day to respond as well right? That's my strategy if and whn I do. Link to post Share on other sites
NeNinja Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 A text two nights in a row is something, but I don't think its enough. I'd give her a few days. I'm expecting something like 'Are you mad at me?' 'Is something wrong?' etc. Ignore that and I'd say expect a call. Link to post Share on other sites
Author gator12 Posted January 30, 2011 Author Share Posted January 30, 2011 A text two nights in a row is something, but I don't think its enough. I'd give her a few days. I'm expecting something like 'Are you mad at me?' 'Is something wrong?' etc. Ignore that and I'd say expect a call. I can agree with that. I figure if it's so important she will call me, but at the same time I'm doubting myself and thinking, what if she thinks I completely hate her and stops trying to contact me. Oooh the dilemma. Link to post Share on other sites
wavejumper Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 "what if she thinks I completely hate her and stops trying to contact me. Oooh the dilemma." let her think that. if she is unable to really reach out to you in a big way than she is not worth your time. while I don't know the details of your breakup I can only say: you deserve so much more! if she really wants to communicate with you let her call you and make the first move in a real way, not in half-a$$ed manner. you deserve respect! good luck, hang in there Link to post Share on other sites
Author gator12 Posted January 30, 2011 Author Share Posted January 30, 2011 Thanks for the reply wave jumper i just need the reassurance. But i have a problem. Third text today. Finally a full sentence too. " "Not to be a nag, but why are you ignoring me?" Advice, interpretations, guidance? Lol just some help please guys. Link to post Share on other sites
wavejumper Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 Thanks for the reply wave jumper i just need the reassurance. But i have a problem. Third text today. Finally a full sentence too. " "Not to be a nag, but why are you ignoring me?" Advice, interpretations, guidance? Lol just some help please guys. ugh! how frustrating is that! i don't know your story, so without that I'm unable to really give you any good feedback. who broke up with whom? how did it come about, etc....if it were me, and from what little I know, i prob wouldn't respond by text...and i certainly would put it off for a while to think on it... Link to post Share on other sites
Author gator12 Posted January 30, 2011 Author Share Posted January 30, 2011 (edited) Here's the full link right here. Some quick facts though she broke up with meIt was a bout 2 and a half months ago, 1 month ncshe did cheat on me, but it wasn't full blown all out cheating it was one kiss and i was willing to work past itIf i ever do get back together with her it's going to take a lot of work on her and my part, we both screwed up in the relationship. (communication on her part, and me not realizing i was being a real a**hole at times)she also has to be the one to inititiate, i am not going to be the one asking to get back together.http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t261876/ Edited January 30, 2011 by gator12 Link to post Share on other sites
wavejumper Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 hi, gator, well, giving her the promise ring certainly confuses the situation, no? have you made it clear that you do not want to be friends? she is holding the power right now in this dynamic...for her to say, after all this time of NC, "why are you ignoring me" is pretty passive aggressive imo. there is a poster on the thread by college who could give you better male advice. i think his name is don ho. i think you need to be firm about what you will and will not allow. and you are so right about "she also has to be the one to inititiate, i am not going to be the one asking to get back together." and she will have to jump through some hoops to even pique your attention. i'd think on this a bit more and get some other feedback. i wouldn't respond by text, if at all, and prob by email with something to the effect: "what do you want?" lol good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Author gator12 Posted January 30, 2011 Author Share Posted January 30, 2011 yes i did. we tried to be friends unintentionally. i went nc for 2 weeks, she contacted, i fell for it and we were friends for a little while. i told her on the last night that we talked that i cant be just friends with someone im in love with, it's all or nothing. etc. the promise ring and all of these text definitley confuses the situation for me. i mean i reall am in love with her but she's the one who threw it away, if i make it that easy to get back with me why should she think it wouldn't be easy a second time. idk i think if she really wants to get back together with me she's going to keep on trying, but at the same time if she thinks i have no interest of getting back together she may give up. idk i'm definitley going to sit on this text for a bit if i respond to it, idk i see myself as waiting for a call though. i mean if she really wants to talk to me won't she at some point call? idk what to think really, i dont want to screw up any chance i may have at reconciliation. Link to post Share on other sites
NeNinja Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 Gator! Keep your head up. You're doing great. Three texts in three days = expect a call soon. I'd wait her out, but if you can't, then text her back. Tell her 'I've just been busy.' Don't tell her anything else. Maybe showing her that the lines of communication are open will get you that call or at least an explanation for her contacting you. No matter what decide keep your a good, cool head on your shoulders and do whats best for you, not her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author gator12 Posted January 30, 2011 Author Share Posted January 30, 2011 Gator! Keep your head up. You're doing great. Three texts in three days = expect a call soon. I'd wait her out, but if you can't, then text her back. Tell her 'I've just been busy.' Don't tell her anything else. Maybe showing her that the lines of communication are open will get you that call or at least an explanation for her contacting you. No matter what decide keep your a good, cool head on your shoulders and do whats best for you, not her. Thanks ninja, you've been really helpful, i may text her back tomorrow with that I've been busy text that way she knows the lines of communication are open, I actually will probably wait a little bit longer than that give her some time to either call or text again. Link to post Share on other sites
EmperorR Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 I was once in your shoes and you know what helped? changing my number, every day I would look at my phone hoping for a text, some days i got a text and would think what to do changing my number helped immensely Link to post Share on other sites
Nkognito Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 i just got this feeling of weakness as soon as i saw her name though The quote above shows you're not over her. She should not be in your contact list. A better reply to the text would be "Who's this?". Then just go back to no contact. Link to post Share on other sites
Shatter3d Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 Omg yes, if you say "who's this?" she is going to freak out and think you've deleted her number..... If you want a reaction out of her I would definitely respond like that....if she really wants you back, nothing will stop her.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author gator12 Posted January 31, 2011 Author Share Posted January 31, 2011 (edited) I was once in your shoes and you know what helped? changing my number, every day I would look at my phone hoping for a text, some days i got a text and would think what to do changing my number helped immensely lol i'm not looking at my phone hoping for a text, quite the contrary it surprised me. thats why I posted on here, I wasn't expecting it at all, and then three days in a row I mean seriously. I really didn't see this coming at all. And I am over her in the sense that i've accepted that we probably wont ever get back together, lol doesn't mean you stop loving somebody. and to point 3, i would do that but she knows i know her number. I used to always dial it before I put it in the phone book. My point is I only know what you guys think I should do about this from the point of view of somebody who does not want to just continue NC indefinitely. Yes probably for a while longer but i do eventually want to get back together with this girl. Edited January 31, 2011 by gator12 Link to post Share on other sites
Shatter3d Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 Ok, well then the question is, do you want her back or not? No - then dont contact her at all, ignore all messages.Maybe - continue NC until you're sure what you want.Yes - well I would contact her with a simple...Been busy, whats up? and see what she says...Just my 2c worth Link to post Share on other sites
Author gator12 Posted January 31, 2011 Author Share Posted January 31, 2011 Ok, well then the question is, do you want her back or not? No - then dont contact her at all, ignore all messages.Maybe - continue NC until you're sure what you want.Yes - well I would contact her with a simple...Been busy, whats up? and see what she says...Just my 2c worth thanks shattered your advice has been really helpful. I do in fact want to get back together with this girl, but I know I can't be the one to actually propose that idea or she'll think it's okay to break up with me in the future etc... Link to post Share on other sites
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