Sticky Keys Posted September 18, 2003 Share Posted September 18, 2003 My brother died 3 years ago. We were very close. He was in a really bad car accident and it devastaded my whole family. I was dating his best friend, Brian, at the time and it devestaded him too. They had been friends since they were in kindergarten. We decided to break it off because the pain of my brother's death was too much on both of us and plus, he was moving away to college and we were grieving and knew that a long-distance relationship wasn't possible. The other day I recieved a letter in the mail. It was from Brian. This was the first time I had heard from him since we decided to break up after my brother's death. In the letter he was talking about school and other things he'd been up to over the past 3 years. He also had mentioned that he hadn't dated anyone serious over that time. He said that he still loved me and he had learned to accept the death of my brother. He said that it had taken him a long time to get over it, but he has come to terms with it. He went on to say that he had already lost my brother and he didn't want to lose me too. He stated in the letter that he is doing an internship here this semester and he hopes that we can rekindle our once very-passionate relationship. He left me his number and said that he would be arriving next Friday. He want's me to pick him up at the airport. This has really hit me all of a sudden. I really did love him and I have missed him. But I am afraid that if we get back together, all the pain of my brother's death will all come back. I have finally found a way to cope with it, even though it is still hard. I don't want to grieve like I did for the first year and a half my brother was dead. I just don't know what to do. I am really scared. I have to make a decision by Friday, that's when he is coming in. Can anyone offer me some advice, please? Link to post Share on other sites
Jamie31 Posted September 18, 2003 Share Posted September 18, 2003 I think that it would be good for you to re-kindle your realtionship with him. Maybe you could just start out as friends at first. But I really think that it will help you deal with the loss of your brother. After all, they have been friends since kindergarten, and he is a link to your brother. Why wouldn't you want to at least stay friends with him? I am sure your brother would have wanted you two to stay in touch. If you really care about him, there is nothing wrong with getting the romance back between you two. You will always grieve for your brother. But since you both knew him so well, you can help each other get through it when you are having a rough patch. I think you should. Give him a call!! Don't be scared! It could be the best decision you ever made. Think about it. Good luck!!! Link to post Share on other sites
NEONINK Posted September 18, 2003 Share Posted September 18, 2003 What would your brother want? Remember, people that have passed on, haven't necessarily moved on. They still listen and still love you. Link to post Share on other sites
Bubbles Posted September 18, 2003 Share Posted September 18, 2003 I think you have already made up your mind.......don't be a silly girl. You know even though you two are not dating now, you have a bond; really it's not a sad thing. You don't have to sit around and talk about your brother constantly......talk about normal things such as school and life in general, talk about what direction you both would like your lives to go in; maybe that would be the avenue to take in order to figure out wether the two of you are still compatable or not. Don't read too much into things until you spend some time talking face to face. You'll know how you feel as soon as you look at him. Either your heart will start pounding just as it did when the two of you were together or it will start aching because of your brother. Go get him at the airport, have coffee or a drink - enjoy life! Don't let it pass you by because you were afraid to take a chance! Good Luck whatever you decide to do! Bubbles Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted September 18, 2003 Share Posted September 18, 2003 Think of it this way -- your brother lives on the memories of those who love him. And you're one lucky girl, because his best friend loves him AND you. You will grieve losing your brother the rest of your life, but his best friend will help you keep your brother's memory alive and that can help you through the grieving process. If you're able, pick him up from the airport. Maybe you guys won't have the same "boyfriend-girlfriend" feeling again, but you'll have a special bond that cannot be broken. It's natural to be afraid, but take hope in the fact that your friend cares enough about you to want to help you through this by re-establishing contact with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Bubbles Posted September 19, 2003 Share Posted September 19, 2003 Well said quankanne, well said! Bubbles Link to post Share on other sites
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