eltsac Posted October 1, 2010 Share Posted October 1, 2010 Hi all, Just a quick briefing, Im sure you read loads of these! My girlfriend dumped me about a month ago, stating that she needs to find herself and own inner strength, and that she just uses me as an escape from her problems. We have been together for 4 years, pretty good to be honest, but she did get in a rut, hated her job and would really just come to mine to chill out and forget her issues. I understood, accepted the break up because I truely want whats best for her. Anyway, afterwards I went away for a bit, but we text everyday, always ending with i love you's and she would say she misses me. I was quite confused as she dumped me! It was making it really difficult and in truth gave me a hope for us that may have not been there in her head. Thats when I decided, when we next met, to sit her down and ask about 'us.' I just asked where we stood and she said that we were broken up. That she loves me, and misses me loads, but we arent together. That was enough for me, I said that I then need time, as I cant move on if she wont let me. It was quite confusing and very hard. We are genuinely best friends, but to me a lot more as we were lovers. I think guys and girls have differing views on this. So I said I need time and have to think about moving on, although I dont want to, its only fair to unless she wants us back together. Which I know wouldnt work right away as its all too raw, but am still finding it hard to come to terms with that. I then sent her a text afterwards just re-explaining, and saying ill always love her, and am there for her, but need time... She responded the next day with...“Yesterday was really hard for me, I hadn’t thought about losing you as my best friend and the closest person to me and it hurts to know that I have done that.. But I understand that this is best for us to move on, and I don’t want to, but know I have to. I will always love you, I still don’t think you know how much. I miss you every moment, so don’t think I am not thinking about you… Call me if and when you want, I'm always here…” I havent responded yet, and dont know what to say. Ive heard the no contact thing etc., and am still hurt by the breakup a little bit... Though I do want her back, its not for me to say itll work, and I have no idea if she wants me back. That message is just confusing, stating she doesnt want to move on, but will have to etc.. Any advice? How do I respond, or do I leave it? Urgh... Ever since I said I need time etc. from her I am slowly moving on, and do feel that a bit, but also am worried about what Ive done as I still love her... Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 1, 2010 Share Posted October 1, 2010 My girlfriend dumped me she said that we were broken up. That she loves me, and misses me loads, but we arent together. “Yesterday was really hard for me, I hadn’t thought about losing you as my best friend and the closest person to me and it hurts to know that I have done that.. But I understand that this is best for us to move on, and I don’t want to, but know I have to. I will always love you, I still don’t think you know how much. I miss you every moment, so don’t think I am not thinking about you… Call me if and when you want, I'm always here…” The first two quotes are reality, the last is the mind-f*ck. Pay careful attention to it and remember it for all your future interactions with women. It will hold you in good stead. While she's banging the next guy, or the guy she was intending to bang while with you, she was/is not 'thinking of you'. It's just carbon dioxide. Her actions are her truth. Notice how the words of the second quote support the actions of the first quote. That's really good information. My sympathies... Link to post Share on other sites
usagi Posted October 1, 2010 Share Posted October 1, 2010 (edited) The first two quotes are reality, the last is the mind-f*ck. Pay careful attention to it and remember it for all your future interactions with women. It will hold you in good stead. Her actions are her truth. Notice how the words of the second quote support the actions of the first quote. That's really good information. My sympathies... Good advice I'm afraid. It's not easy but you have to focus on the actions and not the words. So in short: yes; you have done the right thing. Be proud of yourself for handling it so maturely and good luck. Edited October 1, 2010 by usagi Link to post Share on other sites
Confused9 Posted October 1, 2010 Share Posted October 1, 2010 Actions speak louder than words. Seriously, this is her way of freaking out that her backup plan may not be there when she's done doing wahtever it is she is doing. When people need to find themselves they are really saying 'I need to find myself on my new partner'. I don't mean to generalize but being around long enough...that usually the consensus. I would go NC. Not with the intent to get her back...but to move on. Hang in there. Link to post Share on other sites
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