Ex "reached out" after 3 weeks of NC

[cutesy]

Hi!!

My ex broke up with me out of the blues a month ago. It was an awful experience because I didn't see it coming. He didn't tell me why or even want to talk things over. I went NC based on advice from family and from LS gurus to help me heal. I even found out his dad passed away and still kept to NC since I wasn't supposed to know and I wasn't sure how he would react. When I think of how cruel the break up was (an email), my head tells me never to get back together with him. But my heart feels different and I am surprised at myself that I am still in love with him a month after; and I miss him a lot.

Recently, I got a forwarded email from him which I didn't jump on bc I assumed it was a mass email he had sent to everyone on his address book. Then a few days ago, I got a request to add him on yahoo msgr. We never used that as a means of communication and I didn't even know he had a yahoo acct. But I noticed he just reactivated it a few days before he sent the request.

My qns?

1. Should i let him a sweat a little bc I am peeved that he's circling and acting cowardly? I know he might not have the balls to call me considering how he broke up with me.

2. Should I accept the request now because I am dying to hear what he has to say.

3. Could he have added me in error? And I may be making a fool of myself by accepting the request.

 

Like I said, I still love him and I am not ruling out a second chance but I don't want to be burned again. And I don't know how I will take it if he is reaching out just to remain friends or assuage his guilt.

[jms76]

I would do nothing. If he split with you and he wants you back, it's not going to happen via yahoo messenger. Perhaps he's testing the waters? Maybe. But if he really wants to know, he should pick up the phone. Then you can decide if you want to answer or let it go to vm. Just my 2 cents.

[Sambo]

The guys Dad dies and you don't even call to give your condolences and now your thinking about punishing him and making him sweat ???

 

Lady you need help and I can see why he broke off with you !!!

 

Your a friggin stone cold self centered bitch and you deserved to be dumped.

 

I literally pray this guy doesn't do something stupid and get back with you in his weakened state.

 

:mad:

Edited September 13, 2010 by Sambo

[Iselia]

The guys Dad dies and you don't even call to give your condolences and now your thinking about punishing him and making him sweat ???

 

Lady you need help and I can see why he broke off with you !!!

 

Your a friggin stone cold self centered bitch and you deserved to be dumped.

 

I literally pray this guy doesn't do something stupid and get back with you in his weakened state.

 

:mad:

 

That's a bit harsh don't you think? They broke up. He is no longer apart of her life and vice versa.

[cutesy]

Wow!

Sambo, there's no need to call me names especially as you don't know me, my ex or the whole story.

If you care to know, I gave this guy all I could possibly give any man. My time, attention etc. He was going through a lot at the time and I stood by him 100%. All of a sudden, he starts acting distant and apologising that it's all work and not me. And that he felt he didn't deserve me blah blah blah. We never had a fight the entire time we dated and the first time I decide to let him know I am not buying the " I am busy" argument anymore, he hangs up on me and goes NC. I called, texted, emailed for a week and he ignored me. Finally, he drops the bomb via email. For someone who told me I was the love of his life, he didn't even think I deserved closure or a decent explanation as to why he broke it off. I still don't know why. The next thing, he takes down pictures of us from fb, becomes active on myspace and is updating his blog and living life like nothing happened while I cried my eyes out. A few days later, I am snooping around on his sister's fb page and I find out his dad has passed away. I desperately wanted to call him but he was up and about on myspace like nothing happened. I even posted the question on LS and most people including family advised to stay put because how was I going to explain that I had found out. And what if he snobbed me again. Till date, nothing about his web habits shows he's sad.

I am not a mean person. And I am not a cold hearted bitch. I am the victim here. If his father did not pass away, would you see things differently? Besides, how do I know he's not reaching out now because he needs a friend to fill a void. Only to dump me again when he's feeling better. And when I say "make him sweat", I am referencing to how he ignored all attempts I made to patch things up, not regarding his father. I too have lost a parent and I know how it feels so I would not use that against anyone.

[westrock]

2. Should I accept the request now because I am dying to hear what he has to say.

 

I say accept his request.

[Ajax]

I respectfully disagree with Westrock.

 

Even though you want to know what he has to say, and deserve an explaination, he owes you some face time. At minimum he needs to call you and set up a time to meet, and since he's the one who left, it's his responsability to do it. It seems like he keeps trying to take the easy route.

[westrock]

Even though you want to know what he has to say, and deserve an explaination, he owes you some face time. At minimum he needs to call you and set up a time to meet, and since he's the one who left, it's his responsability to do it. It seems like he keeps trying to take the easy route.

 

Actually, I agree with you Ajax. It's just that I think before any of that will happen they need to first open up the lines of communication even if it starts with just a yahoo messenger request. If that's the "easy route" then so be it. They have to start somewhere to get the lines of communication open. Why make it hard? Once they've opened up the lines of communcation then I agree that he will then need to step up and call and then they need face time to sort out the situation.

[maverick35]

I agree with westrock. Give him hint enough that if he has something of substance to say, he will not be completely blown off and you would listen but keep your guards up cuz more likely than anything, he is just throwing some breadcrumbs your way....go full NC again if thats how it turns out.

[Sambo]

Wow!

Sambo, there's no need to call me names especially as you don't know me, my ex or the whole story.

If you care to know, I gave this guy all I could possibly give any man. My time, attention etc. He was going through a lot at the time and I stood by him 100%. All of a sudden, he starts acting distant and apologising that it's all work and not me. And that he felt he didn't deserve me blah blah blah. We never had a fight the entire time we dated and the first time I decide to let him know I am not buying the " I am busy" argument anymore, he hangs up on me and goes NC. I called, texted, emailed for a week and he ignored me. Finally, he drops the bomb via email. For someone who told me I was the love of his life, he didn't even think I deserved closure or a decent explanation as to why he broke it off. I still don't know why. The next thing, he takes down pictures of us from fb, becomes active on myspace and is updating his blog and living life like nothing happened while I cried my eyes out. A few days later, I am snooping around on his sister's fb page and I find out his dad has passed away. I desperately wanted to call him but he was up and about on myspace like nothing happened. I even posted the question on LS and most people including family advised to stay put because how was I going to explain that I had found out. And what if he snobbed me again. Till date, nothing about his web habits shows he's sad.

I am not a mean person. And I am not a cold hearted bitch. I am the victim here. If his father did not pass away, would you see things differently? Besides, how do I know he's not reaching out now because he needs a friend to fill a void. Only to dump me again when he's feeling better. And when I say "make him sweat", I am referencing to how he ignored all attempts I made to patch things up, not regarding his father. I too have lost a parent and I know how it feels so I would not use that against anyone.

 

 

I think you need to re-read what you just wrote above.

 

I counted the times you used the word "I".

 

You used it 27 times !

 

No offense but I'm sticking to my read on you.

 

The man's FATHER DIED !!!!!!

 

And all you can think about is YOURSELF and what a victim you have been.

 

The man's FATHER DIED !!!!

 

Hello !!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Maybe he was to blame for the break up but I think he saw things in you that your not even aware of.

 

I'm not trying to be mean but your actions right now are really telling me alot about his side of the story.