Stephie Posted July 13, 2010 Share Posted July 13, 2010 I'll give a brief history. He left me because I wasn't putting effort into the relationship anymore, picking fights, pushing him away, accusing him of cheating, all that crap that most go through when times get hard. Well he left he said he couldn't make me happy and I had emotionaly abondoned him. There is so much to say but he cried, yelled, made excuses to see me, said he loved me, I was the best thing to ever happen to him but he ran out of steam trying to fix us. He left in March I moved home in June. I sent my final letter 2 weeks ago saying how much I loved him, missed him, and if he ever found it in his heart to forgive me then talk to me. 3 days later he im me on yahoo. We talked but not about us but about our now life. Now the texting doesnt stop. He texts random stuff and I don't know how to stop responding. He sent me a picture of him showing how much weight he has lost I didn't ask for it. Then we were talking about something and I said hate to know that u are happier now and he said I'm "comfortably numb" wth does that mean. So he asked me to send him a pic of me and he saw how much weight I had lost and said I looked amazing. Then I told him yeah I get approached a lot but guess who still has my heart? He responded good night. I said yep there you go any time we start to talk you stop. He told me to quit and we would talk later but I haven't brought it up again. Why the hell is he doing this he knows I want us back more than anything? Is he just holding on until someone comes along? We did talk about dating other people randomly one day and he told me to go out on dates, that he would too if he didn't work all the time. Is he just being mean because I take it? Guys please help... Link to post Share on other sites
spyyder Posted July 13, 2010 Share Posted July 13, 2010 I remember when I was with my ex (currently trying to slowly get her back via cleaning the slate and starting again) I said some nasty things to her too, just because she could take it and say nothing. I do feel terrible about it and its one of the things I promised to never to do anyone. Hopefully this is one of the things HE has in him that he can regret. HE seems to still want you a little and YOU really need to be careful how you act now if you want him back. He's acting weird because he can see that your ok. I think its obvious all the weight loss pics are just you guys trying to get each other jealous. He IM'd you to just check how your doing, and by that I mean he wanted to find out if your doing horrible without him. Ex's LOVE hearing that the person they broke up with is doing bad, but since your not its making him think. He knows how much you love him & want him back and that you've learned. I say try to play hard to get but also slowly move on. You don't have to totally move on but you have to move on ENOUGH to convince him. Right now just subtly convince him that your doing better without him..heck tell him that you don't really love him anyone and say thankyou for breaking up with you as it seems this is what you really needed. Hopefully he'll come back. Link to post Share on other sites
GrayClouds Posted July 13, 2010 Share Posted July 13, 2010 (edited) He is jsut keeping you on the hook in case he does not find any better. Do not try playing anything it is immature at best and manipulative at worst. Any advice suggest that is quite flawed. The vast majority of those who have been around here for while and learned better will suggest you read and do the following: So you want a second chance? Edited July 13, 2010 by GrayClouds Link to post Share on other sites
paleblue Posted July 13, 2010 Share Posted July 13, 2010 if someone wants to be with you there is nothing that will stop them from being with you. do you hear him knocking at your door? Link to post Share on other sites
vivrantflo Posted July 14, 2010 Share Posted July 14, 2010 He left me because I wasn't putting effort into the relationship anymore, picking fights, pushing him away, accusing him of cheating, all that crap that most go through when times get hard. If these reasons are ones that he came up with, that's one thing. If you're admitting to have acted this way towards him, then the breakup was warranted. Personally, a relationship is grounds for dismissal if one partner wasn't putting any effort into it anymore. 3 days later he im me on yahoo. We talked but not about us but about our now life. Read around these forums. Read posts from men who got dumped/want their old relationship back. These guys are advised to not bring up the past relationship when dealing with your ex that they want back. And these guys struggle with that. Your ex, is avoiding relationship talk altogether, and shows no signs of wanting you back. You need to break communication with him. he said I'm "comfortably numb" wth does that mean. It means he's indifferent to you. He doesn't want you back, but he doesn't hate you. The romance is gone, and almost never comes back once one reaches the point of indifference. We did talk about dating other people randomly one day and he told me to go out on dates, that he would too if he didn't work all the time. Is he just being mean because I take it? Nail in the coffin here. Men are somewhat possessive of their women. The thought of another dude touching a girlfriend/wife/ex they are still attached to, isn't the most pleasant thing ever, and normally drives guys to nausea and sleepless nights.. here we have your ex saying to go out and meet other men... He's not being mean, he's pretty much telling you that he's moving on with his life, and you need to do the same. You reckognize the mistakes you made in this relationship.. take it as a lesson learned, and move on to the next relationship. You will find a guy that will appreciate you and all your worth. But remember, a relationship is 50/50 and you have to give your 100% into any future ones.. even when times get tough. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
cookiecrumbles Posted July 14, 2010 Share Posted July 14, 2010 my opinion....he is just so used to talking to you about everything and having you their to listen, that even after the break up he feels you are still the person he can talk to, but eventually as he starts meeting new people he will find new people to talk to and you will eventually be dwindled down to the occasion message. Trust me its a comfort thing and same goes for you, send someone else messages, message on here, dont message him or message back. P.s. Who would tell their ex they get approached all the time but who has my heart? Cmonnnnnnnn, he may as well of slapped you in the face...if that was true youd be together! its not right to say things like that, you should stick up for yourself and go out and work on yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
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