Logic Posted May 5, 2010 Share Posted May 5, 2010 Hey everyone To cut a long story short, me and my ex were together for a year and were madly in love. But her family found out and made her break up with me. She came from a strict asian family and relationships were forbidden. I loved her and found it difficult to let go, so I kept contacting her and she would keep ignoring me. Eventually after about 3 months I finally accepted that she couldn't and wouldn't be with me and it was best for everyone if I just moved on. So I did. So it's 2 years on now. And its been no contact for 2 years. Recently she texted me out of the blue at 1am and told me she wanted to talk to me and hoped I was okay. I dont get it. What does she want? The break up was pretty ugly. Maybe she feels guilty or she wants to be friends? What should I do? Any advice would be really appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted May 5, 2010 Share Posted May 5, 2010 Wow...I would probaby dream of the day that my ex contacted me out of the blue...but that ain't in the cards... Anyway, I assume she left you...? The bottom line is, it doesn't matter what she wants...you have to ask yourself, what do YOU want...? Has enough time passed that you've gotten over her and would only want to be her friend...? Or do you still have feelings for her...? If you still harbor feelings, you'd best tread carefully here if you decide to talk to her...it could very well be a dangerous road... Again, if YOU want to talk to her, then go for it...there's really nothing to lose...but if you're happy where you are in life and don't need her in it, then leave it as it is and don't talk to her...it's up to you...but only do it because it's what you want to do...not because it's what she wants from you... When you're the dumpee, ONLY YOU MATTER.... Link to post Share on other sites
DustySaltus Posted May 5, 2010 Share Posted May 5, 2010 There was something that happened in her life that triggered her memory of you. It could be a lot of different things but that's irrelevant. As Hokie said it's about your needs. A lot has changed in two years...you grow, you realize your mistakes and what your needs are. What do you want from her? Do you deep down really want to try and make things work? Because there will be a lot of work to be done here. You need to start from scratch. If you are not willing to do that, you have to let this pass. Link to post Share on other sites
just1guy Posted May 5, 2010 Share Posted May 5, 2010 (edited) I'm going to have to agree with the guys so far. Do what you feel is right for YOU. Two years should have given you time to realize what you want and if she should be part of your life, whether as a friend or more. I'm in a similar boat. My ex messaged me out of the blue to apologize for whatever (she wasn't specific). Probably something triggered a memory of guilt, maybe she's in a rough patch with the guy she's with now...I don't know , or care. For me, it's gonna take more than a one liner from her to earn her way back into my life. Just do what you know you have to do. I'm sure you've already decided. Good luck. Edited May 5, 2010 by just1guy Link to post Share on other sites
Author Logic Posted May 5, 2010 Author Share Posted May 5, 2010 Thank you for all your comments. I don't think I knew at first how to feel. I didn't expect to ever hear from her again. I've thought about it and dont really see what could come out of us talking. It's the past. If she feels guilty then I'm not here just to free up her conscience. If she wants to be friends or anything like that, then I don't need someone who's going to bail on me when things get hard. I'm in a similar boat. My ex messaged me out of the blue to apologize for whatever (she wasn't specific). Probably something triggered a memory of guilt, maybe she's in a rough patch with the guy she's with now...I don't know , or care. For me, it's gonna take more than a one liner from her to earn her way back into my life. Completely agree with you dude! Thanks for your words. You're right it doesn't matter. 1 message doesn't mean she can just walk back into my life and expect me to roll out the red carpet. Link to post Share on other sites
2yearsNC Posted May 6, 2010 Share Posted May 6, 2010 i guess 2 years is a lucky number. my ex contacted me after 2 years, about 21 months back in jan 2010 on facebook. i just deleted it. my reasons were: a) she cheated b) she left c) she cursed me out d) she never called e) she messed up my business f) she made me loose money in the end all that doesn't matter. i hope she doesn't do something stupid like show up at my house wearing something sexy, i would probably fold like a girly man. either way nc 2 years and going strong. what can i say? I loved that girl. I wonder if she's the same person I remember. Link to post Share on other sites
Enema Posted May 6, 2010 Share Posted May 6, 2010 Maybe she's grown up a bit and gotten out of the shadow of her parents. It could be all you're hoping it is.... If you're still interested, I say go for it unless: you're currently with someone, then any contact is a no-no. Link to post Share on other sites
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