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My story for anyone wanted a second chance at heartbreak


LBCBADBOY

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Here it is guys. I have been on LS since mid Aug when I stumbled upon this website, and I can honestly tell you this place is like a sanctuary. Here goes...

 

On Friday the 19th of Feb I finally got the news/closure whatever you want to call it from the ex girlfriend of mine of mine of almost 2 years broke the news to me. Short story I broke it off with her back in April of last year but she begged and pleaded and we got back together immediately since we were living together. In mid May of last year was when we officially ended things. She said that she have found a new place and that she is moving out to take a break and that she loves me but wants me to change my ways of dealing with stress. I was verbally abusive to her, I never physically touched her but yell at her and she couldn't take it any longer and eventually moved out. The reason why I get like that is because she was still communicating with her ex bf and I found out one day that she went over to visit her ex bf since I got a parking ticket stating exactly where she was. I confronted her about the situation and I was mad but I was more like if you wanted to be with him just tell me straight up and cut the BS. She told me that she just went over to get her things and that she has no feeling for him whatsoever. Well getting things for a quick 15 min should have gotten her a parking ticket it meant you stayed there for quite some time. Well a few weeks after that she got a tattoo in her ex bf language and I took that as a slap in the face even though she told me she always wanted in that language and it just meant family. All I could think about was why she got the tattoo and how she went to visit her bf. This lead to many more fights of me saying get the hell out of my place even though the lease was in both of our names.

 

So eventually she moves out to a new place a block away from me in downtown so she could be close to me. I helped her move to her new place and then we had a huge argument that night. The next day I was having lunch with her at her new apt and I tried to have sex with her and she pulled pack saying that she cannot stand my anger issues anymore and she is breaking up with me. My heart exploded and I started to cry and proceed to begged her to give me a second chance. So I left...Now it get's interesting. I helped her moved in and settled into her new place and helped her shop furniture in her new apt; I even bought her a big flat screen TV for her living room so she could watch TV. We talked about getting back together and how I wish I could build a time machine to go back and make the wrong things right again and we both were in tears. But I couldn't let go of the fact that she went to go see her ex bf and got the tattoo. After her mom came into town to see if she was alright with her new place things went sour even further.

During this time I was still focused on building my company and being there for her. Well after awhile I felt I got frustrated because we broke up in May and it was July and we haven't had sex so I was pissed off. During this time we fought even further. I remember her telling me that she literally thought I was the one that she was going to spend the rest of her life with and that I was the perfect guy if only I could fix one thing which was my anger issues. During this time I truly believe that she wanted me to change since she kept telling me to change my ways of dealing with anger since I would always yell and scream at her when I was angry. Well here is when the 1st nuclear bombed was dropped. In late July I was so pissed off at her that I text her "I hope you f n burn in hell b****!!!" And I wanted my keys to my apartment back and met her up the next in which she threw the keys over to me. She called me up a few days later that she went to a baseball game with a few friends and bragged to me that she met some of the baseball players etc. I told her don't call me to brag about stuff like that and to never call me ever again. I emailed her that weekend saying that I was sorry about how the relationship ended and that I am working on my anger issues to give us a second chance. We agreed to have lunch a couple of days later and she told she had something to tell me...she had sex with someone she just recently met. My heart was crushed into pieces. She literally told me at lunch to my face that she slept with some guy she met like 3 weeks ago and that she need to get over me. She also told me that she didn't even cum and had to play with herself to do so. Are you kidding me...?? I was killed at that moment in time and it took the act of god for me not to lash out on her. I took it like a champion straight to the chin and proceeded to pay for the lunch as she talks about this new guy and how they don't even talk and how she does not want an f buddy. Everyone in the restaurant knew exactly what was going on since we were regulars there. I walked to her apt to help her fix her tub and my dumbass still shocked and heartbroken gave her a CD that I bought for her weeks earlier since she sent me and her dad an email of one of her favorite songs since we are the 2 men she love most in her lives. She could tell the look on my face of what happened and I proceed to beg her back and this is when we both started to cry.

I left again and proceeded with NC for a few weeks in Aug and Sept she text me and blew up my phone saying asking me why I am ignoring her etc and do I ever think about us. Are you kidding me you just recently told me you slept with another guy you just barely met in 3 weeks when I was still trying to fix the relationship? She said that she was sorry and wanted to remain friends. I continued with NC and only responded to her when she would literally blow my phone up. I finally told her back in October that I am no longer interested in her and I couldn't get the thought of her sleeping with another guy and how she told me about it to my face at a restaurant that my parents frequent. I told her that I have moved on and that I cannot be friends with her at all and she was pretty sad. Saying things like I she guess she does not realize how much I love her until I was gone and that she wanted to fix us.

Well fast forward to December and she was telling me that she made a mistake and that she was very sad and wanted me to fix it. Are you kidding me?!?! Very sad I was not the one who went out and bang some dude and told me about it. You see I am the type of person that cannot let go of something and I held a slight grudge. After she told me that she slept with some dude it was over and I wanted nothing to do with her and I went out and did my thing to get over her. Well in December she starting email me pictures of new condos and apartment that we should move back into and start living together again. I asked her straight out on the phone "Well do you want to us to get back together and she said yes and she that she missed us". Well she emailed me a request for her birthday present a Louis Vuitton bag and I actually bought one for her but I didn't give it to her just yet. Well I was going to give it to her prior to Christmas but held back to see if things was going to play out that we were going to get back together or not. I got upset one day after she stood me up and I mention that she I bought her a Christmas present and she all of a sudden said that she was going to come over later. I said hell no and I'm giving her nothing if she played any games I am walking. Christmas past and I didn't even say anything about the bag and didn't even wish her a Merry Christmas which she got upset over.

On December 27th her birthday I got drunk with a few friends of mine and started to text her talking about how I wanted to be with her with her birthday. Things got heated during the text convo and I told her “I hope that she burns in f n hell and how the hell can someone tell another person to their face that you slept with someone in only 3 weeks and I told her that I hope she f n dies!!!!" I wanted to know the truth and I wanted to know how she can just meet someone in 3 weeks and sleep with them when it took me months. She told me that it was not 3 weeks that it was more like 3 months after the break up that she sleeps with the guy. She said that she met him a few weeks at the gym I frequent in downtown a few weeks after we broke up and that she hung out with him several times before sleeping with him in Aug. I was broken.....I was lied to and was pissed again who this girl basically told me that she wanted to get back together and now I get this.

Well a few weeks after the New Year she kept asking about the bag and if I was not going to give it to her, whom I am I going to give it to. I told her that I bought it as a gift to her and it belongs to her and no one else and with the guilt trip that I felt I eventually gave her the bag about 4 weeks ago and just stormed in and dropped it off at her work place and walked out without seeing her. As I left I get a text from her saying that thanks for the bag and it's not about the bag it is about me caring and not freaking out on her and that she wanted to talk to her. So I went into no contact for about 10 days and it drove me nuts. I really wanted to fix the relationship and if it was not for me saying that I hope she burns in hell and die we would have been back together. I wanted to fix the relationship bad and got some Lakers and Celtic tickets and asked her to go with me to the game on the Feb 18th. I gave her 2 weeks’ notice if she wanted to go. So on Valentine’s Day I went to her work place and dropped off a dozen of red roses and gave her a hug and told her I missed her and that I was sorry and give her the V day card containing one Lakers ticket. A few days later before the game she became very distant. I wanted to know if she was going to the game with me but she told me that she had to work and told her just leave early or take the day off. She told me she couldn't because she no one is going to cover the shift even though I let her know that I got the tickets in advance 2 weeks prior. Well needless to say I went to the game by myself and had a blast sitting next to an empty seat and I text her how she should have been here with me and I am sitting next the area we first kissed and blah blah blah throughout the game. Well the next day I was furious about her not attending the game and I text her why she didn't go and why is she so distant. She said that she had to work and she could go to the game. Ok and asked her why she so damn distant in her text messages was. She said she didn't know and I straight up asked her "Are you seeing someone right now or do you have a new boyfriend???" She didn't answer and I proceeding to blow up her phone until she did and she said to me "It's already been a year since we broke up" and said "No it has not been a year, it only been 9 months" and she hung up on me. I called back several times afterwards and she basically said to me "Please leave me alone" and hung up again. I text her and back to just tell me the truth so I can move on with my life. She didn't and I told her that I was going to leave work and drive to her work place to get my damn Louis Vuitton bag back and that she used me. She said "No don't come over, this is not the time or the place right now" I drove to my back to LB and said that I was about 5 mins away from her work and she text back that she was scared of me coming over and making a scene but I lied...I was going to my dad's auto shop instead when I finally got the text message. "I'm sorry; the guy that I slept with back in Aug that I met at the gym is now my boyfriend." I was f n destroyed and threw my phone to the ground and smashed it, smashed my fist to the wall, kicked things around. I just basically was yelling and screaming making an ass of myself in front of my father and his employees. Needless to say I got what I did and didn't want to her but it is closure for me.

It is very painful to write this and I know my thoughts are random but it does suck really badly when the person you love most in the world could care less about how you feel. I know that I have anger issues and I am working on it. She left me saying that I was the perfect boyfriend but my anger basically was the downfall of the relationship. She said back then if I could work on my anger issues we would be back together but I could get the fact that she slept with another guy she just barely met and told me to my face about it. It sucks but looking back I should have never lashed out on her verbally about the whole thing. We could have been back together. I still love her with all of my heart but it sucks that I am picking the pieces up now when it should have been 9 months ago. I guess it is a lesson learned right. Some people on LS may or may not have similar issues like mind but one thing is clear people. LS to what we have to say...NC is the best thing to heal and if the person does want you back THEY have to make the effort. Like Caliguy's saying they have to be beating down your front door if they want you back. Well in my case I am moving forward with my life and I could care less about my ex girlfriend after the ordeal we have put ourselves through. If she wants to make things work in the future SHE is going to make the effort and SHE will have to prove herself not me. Thanks guys for reading. Any input would be really appreciated.

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  • 2 weeks later...

You sound like you have some major issues going on here too. You sound vengeful and easily angered. Quite frankly the fact that you'd tell her the bag belonged to her then in a jealous rage go try and get it back is crazy. Even worse is the fact that you destroyed a store in your anger. YOU sound like YOU need to work out some major issues for yourself as well, this isn't all her fault.

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looseleaf2004

I'm not the best guy to be giving out advice but I went through something like this 4 years ago, and I'm telling you from first hand experience... take this time to work on yourself and not worry about her. You will thank yourself in the long run. You not even in the right frame of mind to even continue any type of relationship with her. You are obviously still bothered by what she's done and I'm not sure you will ever get over her. She's gone man. She has been with this guy for more than 6 months so it's pretty serious. I know it's not easy, but you have to try to stay busy, start doing things for yourself that you like to do, that will take your mind off of pining for her. She's not moping around over you. Besides, I believe too much has happened for this relationship to have any chance of working anyway. You both need time to become better people, and once again, she's gone. Just try to use this as a learning experience.

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pretty intense story. u shouldve gone NC when she told you she slept with someone else.

 

did u really want her back at that point? or just rub it in her face...

 

doesnt matter anyway.

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