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Communication Problem

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Old 20th February 2010, 2:09 AM   #1
Established Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 961
Communication Problem

So what do you do when he won't talk. Shuts down.

How do we communicate when there is a problem?

When there is a problem:
-face to face talking doesn't work
-emailing doesn't work
-online chat doesn't work

He is so angry and hurt he doesn't want to talk until he calms down and can be measured about the discussion.

But when we do talk again (days later) - the subject is forgotten so the problems aren't fixed, so the ball doesn't move forward.

I think he gets really emotional and he has really hurt me with some things he has said in the past, so his solution is to walk away and calm down now when we are in the middle of a dispute. Which I suppose I can live with (with great difficulty) - but I miss the coming back and actually sorting out the problem when everyone has calmed down.

ie communication can be delayed. But it has to take place. Not sure if counselling would help. I think he is sick of counselling.

He likes everything his way, all the time. And I feel bullied a lot of time. He needs are given priority over mine, and mine should be just as important.

He has a problem with love interface (and so do I) but I don't know how we can fix it without communicating.
Boundary Problem is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 1st March 2010, 3:53 AM   #2
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Virginia
Posts: 18
To be blunt, if he doesn't see a problem, you're going to have to assume he'll always be that way.

The first step to fixing a problem is admitting there is one. If he acts this way but thinks it's okay, he's going to until something points it out. You are going to have to either try and talk it out or leave him.

You're 100% right, you guys should share the priorities. Whatever you need should be just as important. If he's truly bullying you for priority control, then he's probably controlling too.

My suggestion, leave him.

Sorry if I was too blunt. Good luck.
Iamthedouglas is offline   Reply With Quote


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