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Rebuilding?


HeavenOrHell

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Some of you have read about what happened-my ex left me 4 months ago nearly after 18 years as I neglected him for a couple of years as I was so busy, I didn't take him seriously at first and I left it too late to change things.

He's seen I've changed things the last few months, finally seen just how much he means to me.

We're close friends still, he loves and cares about me still, says he needs me, but before he left said it was too late to put it right as he thought I didn't love and need him anymore and it wore away his feelings for me by bit. He looks at me very fondly still and wants to see me every day (we don't as that wouldn't be good seeing as we're not partners now). I wish he could give me the chance to rebuild.

I've tried NC the last 2 weeks but it's not what either of us want.

I wish he would let me back in his heart, I have made it clear how much he means to me still without actually putting the pressure on, I wouldn't say to him I want him back as it would feel like pressure.

BUT it's impossible to know if we can ever rebuild as we cant hug or anything now, how could things change, if they were going to, if I can't hug him or anything. He said there's no rules after we called each other by our pet names sometimes (lover names) after I'd said said ooh we shouldn't use those names should we.

I can't force anything obviously.

I can't decide if NC is a good idea or not as I want him in my life no matter what. And if there was any hope for us in the future I dont think NC would be a good idea seeing as neglect drove him away.

I suppose some people are just too hurt to let their ex in again.

But can't the love be rebuilt/reignite if the relationship was so solid and special for so long?

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I can't force anything obviously.

I can't decide if NC is a good idea or not as I want him in my life no matter what. And if there was any hope for us in the future I dont think NC would be a good idea seeing as neglect drove him away.

I suppose some people are just too hurt to let their ex in again.

But can't the love be rebuilt/reignite if the relationship was so solid and special for so long?

 

Is he too hurt? He wants to see you, and you all are on good terms, but do you really feel he has moved on? Has he let you know his true feelings in all this? Do you know if he feels the same way as you do?

 

From my perspective, you can:

 

1) Leave things as is - keep waiting for him to come back around. Keep torturing yourself with hope.

 

2) Let go completely - start the coping process of a relationship that is over.

 

3) Take courage - Talk to him. Because "until you face things head-on and are totally honest, you will never achieve the closure you need."

Edited by Ms. Joolie
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