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left me, took me back, left me again.

Second Chances Called it off but doubting the decision now? Someone wants you back? Let us know about it!

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Old 22nd May 2009, 8:15 AM   #1
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left me, took me back, left me again.

yeah, so we broke up in november after two years, he got me back in february, all was well, and still was three months, later, until he dropped me again on wednesday.

his reasons: didn't like the direction our relationship was going (my emotions were getting a little iffy, but it really wasn't anything to leave me over.. it couldve been worked out and if he put a little more effort into trying with me), and wasn't ready for a relationship.. but funny how he would tell me everyday how much he loved being with me again and he was always so happy. he's bad at hiding his emotions, and is very impulsive.

since he dropped me, he's once again being very cold and distant when we hang out which i can tell is because he doesn't want me to see how hurt he is and how hurt i am..

but.. i want him back, but i feel, and even our closest friend feels, that things have gotten so much better on my end and feels that he's just running away because i poured my emotions out to him wednesday and he got overwhelmed. i've basically made like two mistakes in our relationship since we got back together.. not bad ones, either. one major thing is that i let the man have his freedom like never before. i would never let him hang around potheads or sleep out, but this time i let him do whatever and at the end of the night if he wants to chill, i go over and stay, otherwise i stay home.

it was going really good until wednesday! please help, i want him back.. our friend was going to talk to him at prom today because he usually listens to people he's not really around or doesn't talk to that much, or someone he knows is smart (he doesn't talk to our friend as much as i do, but he likes her a lot as a friend). are there any other approaches i can take? i've tried talking to him, but he just won't listen to any of it..
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Old 22nd May 2009, 10:52 AM   #2
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Neither of you are communicating as clearly as you can. Every time there's a break up it means that to one person at least, something is broken. Otherwise you are going to end up in this viscious cycle of break up/together/breakup/together until one of you either fixes themselves or you both move on with someone else.

You know what I am going to say here: "The definition of insanity is doing the same things over and over, expecting different results each time."

Got me?
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Old 23rd May 2009, 6:13 AM   #3
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I've been there my friend! Me and my ex split after a year and a half, got back together probably too quickly...and now he's left me again. So had my heart broken twice by the same person!

The thing is, its true, something is broken. And even if you fix yourself (which I feel I did), if they haven't the problems just continue, and their issues become your issues. He is very insecure and his insecurities became mine. He stopped communicating with me. He has all these beliefs that nothing lasts and you can't trust anyone. I used to feel the same, but I believed I could trust him and we could last. Well its kind of like he's beliefs are a self-fulfilling prophecy because he used to treat me so badly once we got back together. First time around he was so loving and gentle to me, I saw the vulnerable man. But maybe I hurt him a little too much, he withdrew that from me and started acting like the big, hard, tough man. I know thats not who he is. Because i've seen him in tears and heard his worries. But he is scared to show that, so he buries it.

I think if someone leaves you not once but TWICE, then you will never really trust them to stick with you even if you get back together again.
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