lofi_tokyo Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 So today, and today only I am back in town - the place where my ex lives. It has been approximately nine months of NC. On my birthday in February, he texted me happy birthday, but I was too choked to say anything but "thank you" back. I figured since my meeting is over at 4pm today, it would be nice if my ex and I could hang out. So I texted him this morning: Me: Hey! Its ____, I'm in (city) today only, and I was wondering if you would wanna chill this afternoon? Him: Doh its finals week! Youre only in town for today? Me: Yup I'm leaving tomorrow at 4am! Oh well lol Him: Yeah... do you still have a Sn? Me: Sn? Him: Screen name Me: Like for aim? I dont really go on the computer much anymore HIm: Aw ok. Maybe I'll catch you some other time. So. Is this him not caring enough to visit me? Or is it him sincerely just not being able to hang out because of exams - I DID just notify him I'm in town this morning (around 9:30am). I realize this isnt much to post over, but its the first form of communication I've shared with the guy in a long long time, so I just needed to come back to LS and seek out other's opinions. ;p Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 tokyovogue, he`s telling you he wants to keep it at a distance, where he`s happy to maintain contact through cyberspace, but that`s it. If this type of friendship is okay with you, then do it, unless you`re in some way, looking for more than friendship. If you`re looking for more, stay away. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lofi_tokyo Posted May 16, 2009 Author Share Posted May 16, 2009 I'm not looking for anything else, I think I've come to far to go back... but yeah, the cyber space thing is what I was afraid of. I feel like thats just so... lame! I've given up on the internet for social networking (with the exception of facebook) because my ex and I actually met that way, and well, I became too dependant on programs like AIM etc. I guess he put an offer on the table for an online friendship, but I'm just not feeling it, so life moves on. Do you think him wanting to keep it at an online level has to do with the fact that he conducts nearly all his friendships online? The woman he left me for (and may still very well be with) he met in a class, but developed a friendship with over AIM. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 There are pros and cons with online friendships. You can multi-task a lot more, when you`re communicating with someone online. Person to person, takes more time and effort. I also wonder about people who solely have online friendships. What are they hiding? Link to post Share on other sites
boogieboy Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 You dont even live in the same town anymore? Theres no reason for a platonic friendship unless you want something to happen. If you do, you better make it apparent. If one of you has feelings for the other, its not platonic. Dont bother. FInd attention from a new guy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lofi_tokyo Posted May 16, 2009 Author Share Posted May 16, 2009 I am happily dating a new man, I just thought it woul be nice to say hi while I was in town I guess. Is that so wrong lol I'm just a bit.. Unsure of his response. Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 I am happily dating a new man, I just thought it woul be nice to say hi while I was in town I guess. Is that so wrong lol I'm just a bit.. Unsure of his response. If you are happily dating someone new, why even contact your ex? What's the point? Does your current B/F know about this? I don't think it's right or fair to him to seek out any friendship with your ex. Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 I'm just a bit.. Unsure of his response. Well, it's basically that he doesn't have a preference one way or the other, isn't it? Like you could have been his former personal fitness coach. To me it's just a clear message that he has no desires or plans to rearrange how he is currently doing his life to fit you in if/when you show-up...in person or on-line. It's cold. It's a cold, blunt message. Nothing too uplifting or positive in it, for you. Link to post Share on other sites
boogieboy Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 I am happily dating a new man, I just thought it woul be nice to say hi while I was in town I guess. Is that so wrong lol I'm just a bit.. Unsure of his response. Yes it is, you have a new man already, you moved on, let him move on. You validation from an ex but you dont need it. You shouldnt be thinking about him. Leave him alone. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lofi_tokyo Posted May 17, 2009 Author Share Posted May 17, 2009 Whew this tread has kind of drifted off course I feel. I don't think my ex being busy was that cruel. It happens. I just was surprised and unsure if he was avoiding me or sincerely busy. It isn't much moe rooted than that lol. I have many friends in this area and I contacted them iin thw same manner as I did m ex I don't see the problem in catching up with someone that you haven't heard from in a while. I don't think my current spouse minds. He's smart enough to know I only have eyes for him. Link to post Share on other sites
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