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Why am I playing with fire?


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I'm with someone but recently, at my friend's birthday party I was reunited with an ex.

 

This ex and I gave it a shot twice last summer. First time he freaked out and we broke up as I was sick of trying to get past whatever wall he had up. Month later he made a huge effort to get me back but it ended in the same problem.

 

I haven't seen him for ten months, but him and his group of friends have been hanging out a lot with my best friend back at home (I'm at university) Occasionally I hear of her seeing him on nights out and she always tells me that he asks after me, I've never heard of him getting with another girl. Of course, it was inevitable he'd be at her birthday party. I was cool with this, I've been feeling stable and happy with current bf so I have no room for petty hatred....besides, I went out on a pretty good one-liner the last break up so I felt I had the upper hand :D

 

Of course, we got on so well, I was coping fine with it though, I wasn't planning to jump him. The night out that followed however started to stir feelings. I was totally sober, everyone else was drunk as anything. We were all dancing together at this eighties night, there was a lot of picking up, passing around, jumping...general hilarity.

 

You know when you're with an ex, and all you want them to do is realise how gorgeous you are and apologise? I think this is the first time I've been dancing around with an ex and DID NOT even have that cross my mind and guess what happened. As I was hugging people goodbye to leave, I got in my ear "I miss you, so so much." Followed by a huge partly-rehearsed speech he's been storing up for as long as we've been apart trying to explain what was going through his mind at the time.

 

HEARTSTRINGS = TWAAAANG

BRAIN = Dubious... "shut up heart, don't listen to him..."

 

I've been staying with my best friend for the week and we kept hanging out with this group of friends. It's so frustrating...the more I see him, the more I want him and start forgetting about my boyfriend. I know that we don't work as a couple, so why on earth am I even bothering to think about it? I'm so damn attracted to him! I miss him so much but I can't even risk the disappointment and heartbreak again. If my boyfriend knew I was hanging out with him, I'd be in big trouble too...

 

argh... I just don't know what to do or think. Sorry it's so long...

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lonelypiscesguy

How would you feel if your BF was hanging with one of his exes? YOU'RE being disrespectful, face it...

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I know it's way easier said than done, but just keep thinking about why you guys broke up TWICE in the first place. Yeah, everything seems all fun and lubby dubby now, but when/if the reality of a relationship b/w you two happens again you will more than likely have the exact same issues with this guy you had the first 2 times around. If what you have now with your current bf is good, don't ruin it. Tell your ex thanks for the good times but you have something better now, thank you very much :-)

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I know this is off topic but how did your ex make a huge effort to get you back? What things did he do?

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Cheers, lonelypiscesguy, I appreciate what you're saying but to be honest I'd just have to trust him and let him get on with it. I think if you're going to cheat, you're going to cheat. I have to trust myself that I won't, then my boyfriend can trust me too.

 

Other guys (sorry now I've navigated off the page I can't remember for the life of me what your user names are) thank you! Your messages were supportive.

 

The whole "going back to your ex" thing is something I'm cursed with, my current boyfriend is a previous ex....hilarious. We're all still quite young, 21 to be exact.... I know a lot of change occurs around now. My current boyfriend (24) had changed A LOT in the ten months we were apart...same seems to be applying to this ex that has turned up so, I am aware he's a minefield but...ah, I dunno.

 

The effort he made to get back with me in the first place was a cascade of apologies, driving miles to see me, flowers, pleads to try again....heh. I dunno. Weirdness.

 

lol...I went to my mother for advise all I got was "Aaah, you're not married to the guy, live a little."

 

Thanks mum.... say something moral next time!

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OP: The definition of insanity is doing the same things over and over, expecting different results each time.

 

Take from that what you will :)

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In that case, quick call the hospital. I'm a serial back-tracker!

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