Give A Quick Answer! I Need A Answer To Know Why.

[WiseOne1]

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t158946/

 

^^^^Past Thread.

 

Guys me and my ex are friends again, but why do I feel ok being her friend?

 

1. Is it that I really dont love her?

 

2. Is it that we were friends 5 years before we got together?

 

3. Is it that I just dont like seeing her with anyone else?

 

4. Is it a ego trip that im going through?

 

5. Or is it that im stupid enough to be her friend still?

 

 

And why am i hurting when were not friends, but when we are friends I feel completly over her?

[JustinWolf]

I hate her guts really, I don’t want her back nor do I ever want to talk to her again in life!

I sit back and think about how bad she treated me and all my love for her transformed into Hate. She claims that we still have something special, and that I was the best bf that she ever had, but it doesn’t show,

because actions speak louder than words.

 

1) It's up to you to know.

2) that has to have played it's part, of course.

3) does it hurt you when she's hanging out with another guy? what if she came up to you and said she's been hanging around 24/7 with this cute irish guy she met at a pub?

4) elaborate.

5) I thought she hurt you, how can you still be friends with her?

 

I think that the bond you have created with her during your friendship years has come to play a bit part of why you feel so much at ease around her. Just stay friends if you want but most people would suggest you to avoid it because in the long run, it may hurt you again.

[Angel1111]

You probably still love her but got tired of the rollercoaster ride and your emotions shut down. Lack of trust will also cause a person to put their emotions on hold. But as long as you can keep tabs on her and have her in your life one way or another, you feel better. But as soon as she's gone, or you think you can never talk to her again, you feel threatened.

 

It doesn't sound as though she treated you very well when the two of you were together but I do wonder if it's because she wasn't aware of how you felt about her, or if you had different expectations about how she should react to the things you did. Did you ever tell her these things?

[WiseOne1]

Yea I told her, its probably more that I didnt show her because i felt like she wasnt showing me anything she said neither.

 

And it doesnt hurt when she hangs out or talk to the other guy.

 

We been talking about getting back together, but she says she doesnt know because she doesnt want to hurt the other guy, she says she thought I was over her because I never tryed getting back with her during the time that we were broke up.

 

But I feel thats bull**** due to that she didnt care about my feelings.

 

She says she doesnt wanna leave the other guy to see if the grass is greener because then if me and her dont work out she will be left with anything.

 

^^^^^Guys isnt this the whole reason while LS exist, but this women seems to think before she sees if the grass is greener.

[vivrantflo]

A mix between 3 and 5. Mostly 5.

 

This chick needs NC in the worst way.

 

She pretty much TOLD you that she wants a back up plan.

 

What a stupid chick.

 

NC, you can do much much better than that

[WiseOne1]

A mix between 3 and 5. Mostly 5.

 

This chick needs NC in the worst way.

 

She pretty much TOLD you that she wants a back up plan.

 

What a stupid chick.

 

NC, you can do much much better than that

 

Lol Well Vivrantflo The Rock says This! Take your keyboard, take you mouse and stick it str8 "JUST JOKKIN" nice avatar.

 

I had a past ex from a long time ago, she was my first love. And the only way I could get over her was being her friend, and you know how people say dont be friends with a ex because it can turn bad.

 

But im a strange starange guy, its the opposite for me, Im just waiting for her to slip up or say the smallest little thing i dont like, its that easy for me!

 

Weird but from my past experience I did NC for 9 months and It didnt work. The only way im able to get over a girl is having her force me into falling out of love with her.

 

The easiest way for me to get over her is for her to tell me she loves this guy, but she keeps saying she doesnt. I've begged her just to say it, but she wont! She use to always say that I was just waiting on her to slip up so I can kick her out of my life and move on.

 

And shes 100% right, she knows me because me and her were friends during the time me and my first love ex broke up. And she knows how I got over her.

 

So if i can even trick her into admitting it, even if she doesnt mean it, I would be 100% over her, Guys I know that sounds weird but its the truth.

[JustinWolf]

If it works for you, then there's no problem. Try not to get hurt, though and keep us updated.

[WiseOne1]

Yea Thanks Man.

 

I just wish she would give me what I want and tell me she loves him, I know shes kinda showin it. But Ya Know.

 

Hell all she needs to do is atlest kiss the guy, I would rather her sleep with him, I will find out from word of the mouth or from her, probably from her.

 

Im the kinda guy that needs to be mistreated until I can no longer take it, and thats exactly what im trynna get her to do. Everyone has a breaking point!

[Ronni_W]

Im the kinda guy that needs to be mistreated until I can no longer take it,

That is very cool self-awareness...but it's also kinda 'warped', ain't it? Cos I don't think I've heard of anyone who consciously INVITES mistreatment -- well, masochists but this isn't exactly that, obviously .

(Did I understand you correctly...you use the abusive treatment of others to your advantage, to help you get to your "breaking point" so that you can then take a stand in the name of your heart or self-respect or whatever?)

[WiseOne1]

That is very cool self-awareness...but it's also kinda 'warped', ain't it? Cos I don't think I've heard of anyone who consciously INVITES mistreatment -- well, masochists but this isn't exactly that, obviously .

(Did I understand you correctly...you use the abusive treatment of others to your advantage, to help you get to your "breaking point" so that you can then take a stand in the name of your heart or self-respect or whatever?)

 

Well kinda, and its not really taking abuse in a way. I tried NC for 5 days and missed her like hell, and then when i tried NC with a long ago ex for 9 months it didnt work.

 

Me and my old ex became friends and she slept with her new BF, and from that point on I was 100% over her, I didnt want her back and I was even 100% willin to be friends, but when she asked to go back out I told her That I thought we should be friends and I have no more feelings for her.

 

See thats the kind of stuff that hurt anyone else, thats why they say dont stay friends with a ex, but me!!! Its the opposite I move on maybe 30 secs after it happen and it was like my ex never existed.

[JustinWolf]

Then stay friends with your ex and eventually she'll do something bad enough for you to get over her and I hope this happens soon, so you can fully move on.

[WiseOne1]

Then stay friends with your ex and eventually she'll do something bad enough for you to get over her and I hope this happens soon, so you can fully move on.

 

 

Yea I hope so too.

[WiseOne1]

Well me and my ex are finished, for good, Even though im right now over her I refuse to be her friend, she treated me like **** and know she must continue with her current bf.

 

I told her that it would be best if he took all of the bond that me and her had me and ran with it, I wished him and her the best.

I told her that she needs to have a good life and focus on him and only him, and give him everything and treat him the way that I was never treated.

 

"She told me she liked him more than me! That was one of the breaking point methods, and she committed it. Its over. This is one of the main reasons we argued, her picking even friends or family or ex bfs over me, and she did it again, and I wont stand for it this time.

 

So in the words of John Cena "Da Champ Is Here"

[nopainnogain]

I vote #5....

[WiseOne1]

I vote #5....

 

Lol man your late, the poll is closed.

 

Da Champ Is Back, and its been along time since i been single, now to start weighing choices.

[WiseOne1]

Its feels so good to be over my ex, I feel like a whole new person.

 

I dont hurt all night while trying to sleep, I dont wake up hurting, and I dont wake up thinking about her.

She called me today after I told her last night to focus on her new BF, I didnt look at the caller id before i picked up!!!!!!!!

 

I told her it was no reason to call me, she should work on him and her, theres no reason to talk to me anymore. She bassically wants to set me off talking about her new bf, you can tell thats the direct the convo was going in.

 

She was just talking and I told her im gonna have to call her back.

[WiseOne1]

I talked to my ex today, and she normally starts the conversation like do you wanna talk to me? And I said of ourse, why not, she says she thought I didnt want to talk to her because of her having a new bf.

 

I told her yea and I told her that I think her and him are meant to betogether, and I told her that im proud she moved on.

I learned this from a relationship book, that you should act ok with the break up.!!!!!!!

 

And she started talking about her committing sucide and started saying how she wants to cry, she said she feels so sad.

 

So I told her I was at the movies last night and she kept asking me "With Who?" over and over again.

 

I told her what girl I was dating and she just keep talking to herself saying, why do I feel so sad? And she says this is so ****ed up!

 

She kept trying to make me feel bad by talking about her ex BF and everytime she said something I sounded and acted happy for her, and she really got angry and started to insult me.

 

At the end she kept asking me if I wanted her to call me and I kept saying "If you want to" and she was like no give me a yes or no, I said I dont care, call me if you want, and she said she would call me when she gets off of work.

 

Is this type of counter emotions or doing the opposite working?

[WiseOne1]

She told me that she was going to get married, and I asked her could I come to the wedding, and she went off, and she started to tell me how I didnt care about her.

 

I was like what are you talking about?