Jump to content

if its a break up its because its broken.


Recommended Posts

4givrnt4gtr

Well...i thought about giving my ex a second chance. I caught him texting dirty messages to some randome chick. After a while he continued talking to me, and today we were supposed to meet up to go for a run. It sounded like we were gonna fight for it. But then....

 

He didnt call me all day...I thought he would call when he left work, but at almost 7 i realized he wasnt going to show up. I texted him asking if he was gonna come. he immediately called me, with some song and dance about his car being broken......I was livid....he said he should have called me earlier, and it was then that i realized that no matter what, he could never feel or be what i needed him to be or feel.

He could care less...

 

And im back at square one...

 

But now at least I know..that when a break up happens its usually because the relationship is broken to begin with.

 

Just wanted to share...

 

back to the coping and moving on stages...the I feel completely lost and what am I going to do now stages....god lord i hope they go fast

Link to post
Share on other sites

You're better off without him, and you'll realize it as you continue to cope...sounds like you're realizing it already.

Link to post
Share on other sites

It is so hard to open our eyes and realise that it is over!

 

It makes it even harder when we make an effort to fix things and no effort comes from their side!

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
4givrnt4gtr

He sent me an email later at night. Saying how sorry he was that he messed up again, that he has been sad and lonely and missing me. That he is so ashamed for what he did and couldnt face me like nothing happened. That nothing will ever be the same.

 

He said that all he knows now is that he lost me, and what we had and he didnt know why he did what he did and it scares him.

 

He ended it with him saying that he never meant to hurt me, that he always will care about me and that unfortunately all things come to an end, and so did we.

 

kick me while im down why dont you :(

Link to post
Share on other sites

Well good! He realizes he lost you but more importantly, you realize that he isn't what you want.

 

Excuses are easy, but actions are where the real nectar is.

 

You should go NC 4giv. I'm afraid he's talk his way into giving you hope again, hope that he can change, when really you have been wanting him to change for a long time (I remember the first thread I replied to was about him not calling often enough, and that was a long time ago).

 

He isn't what you want. He will never magically convert into what you want. You have tried revisiting your expectations at times. In fact, you revisited your expectations every time something came up.

 

No more excuses. The basic mathematical equation is that he isn't right for you. Sometimes love isn't enough 4.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Trialbyfire

it was then that i realized that no matter what, he could never feel or be what i needed him to be or feel.

 

Exactly. This is all that matters. If you need someone to care deeply for you on a consistent basis, he's not the man.

 

You have to make a consistent effort on your part, to emotionally cut him loose. While it hurts to do this, keep telling yourself that he doesn't care enough, regardless whether he's capable or not. It just is.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Sometimes, even though it might hurt it's better to realize the truth. Why should you put so much into trying to attempt to re-establish something when he doesn't care to bother. I think finally realizing the truth you will be better off and I think you've done that which is good.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't completely agree with the fact that a breakup happens because it was broken to begin with. Sometimes people just need space to figure themselves out.

 

The case isn't true for me, so my advice is somewhat hypocritical, but a quote goes as such:

 

"Some things are meant to be broken in order to be fixed."

 

People and life in general have a way of figuring themselves out when they have the appropriate time and space to do so. Just because a relationship goes through trouble doesn't mean it can't come back around again.

 

Sigh, ye of little faith!

Link to post
Share on other sites
LikeCharlotte
People and life in general have a way of figuring themselves out when they have the appropriate time and space to do so. Just because a relationship goes through trouble doesn't mean it can't come back around again.

 

Sigh, ye of little faith!

I agree with you but for 4givrnt4gtr it really is over. She has been disappointed repeatedly. She wants to really start to heal now. I think its awful when someone throws away something good because there was a rough patch. That is not what is happening on her part here.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
4givrnt4gtr

Sigh...

 

Well after he sent me that email where he said he couldnt face him i told him i had thought about giving him a chance but if what he felt wasnt strong enough or just didnt want to do it then that was that.

 

He then emailed me saying how big of a heart I have, that he thought I would never ever take him back so thats why he couldnt face me. that he could never see me as just a friend so he thought it would be better off if he let me go for good. But that since i said I would give him a chance that he would love to take it really slow, one thing at a time, and regain my trust.

 

I emailed him back saying that he needs to figure himself out before anything else. That him leaving me waiting for him made me feel like he could care less. I told him that I needed him to take a while to think about exactly what he wanted...if I fit into that and whether he honestly felt he loved me and truly was able to respect me. If not, then its completely over as I will not settle for nothing less than the best, because that is what i deserve. No more maybes, no more bs.

 

Bassically, yes, its over...and thats ok.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Sigh...

 

Well after he sent me that email where he said he couldnt face him i told him i had thought about giving him a chance but if what he felt wasnt strong enough or just didnt want to do it then that was that.

 

He then emailed me saying how big of a heart I have, that he thought I would never ever take him back so thats why he couldnt face me. that he could never see me as just a friend so he thought it would be better off if he let me go for good. But that since i said I would give him a chance that he would love to take it really slow, one thing at a time, and regain my trust.

 

I emailed him back saying that he needs to figure himself out before anything else. That him leaving me waiting for him made me feel like he could care less. I told him that I needed him to take a while to think about exactly what he wanted...if I fit into that and whether he honestly felt he loved me and truly was able to respect me. If not, then its completely over as I will not settle for nothing less than the best, because that is what i deserve. No more maybes, no more bs.

 

Bassically, yes, its over...and thats ok.

 

*hugs* good job staying strong!

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...