Is there ANY hope for a second chance???

[FoolOnTheHill42]

Hi, I'm new here but I just am having an internal problem with my ex-boyfriend. I'm totally still in love with him and he's all i can think about, even though we've been broken up for awhile. I just want to know if in all of your experiences, if you think its possible that I can ever be with him again. Sorry this will be terribly long but i want to mention everything so you can get a picture.

 

My ex and I met about a year ago and started dating right away. We went out for about 6 months. At the start of the relationship he called me all the time and came over to see me just for 5 minutes before work to see me. Then obviously he started calling less etc. and thats normal I know. So I feel in love with him and I ended up telling him and he said that I meant the world to him but he wasn't ready to say he loved me yet and I was fine with that. He's said before that I made him happy and so on. We had a good relationship up until he sort of started spending more time with his friends and so on and I was feeling neglected and i told him i felt unappreciated. So one night he came over and just told me he wasn't mature enough for a relationship right now and that i was still beautiful and smart and funny etc it was just he couldn't be in a serious relationship now and he wanted to be friends. And I was completely devestated.

 

So we broke up and he said i could text or call him whenever I wanted because I was really depressed and stuff. So I did for awhile and then for a bit we sorta just stopped talking very much for some reason. I found out he was seeing someone else about a month and a half after we broke up but he said it wasn't serious. It was just a summer fling sorta thing. So I was really upset when I found out and then we hung out while he was house-sitting and I spent the night and drank with him and a friend there. and we ended up hooking up and we did so two more nights while he was house-sitting.

 

Then we stopped talking again for a bit just because he went on vacation and such. Then I found out he stopped seeing that other girl when we started talking again. And we started hanging out and it was really good. we went bowling with his friends and then back to his house. When his friend left I stayed and we ended up holding hands while we finished the movie. Then when I left he hugged me for a long time and somehow we ended up kissing. Then we hung out the next day and went shopping together and also ended up holding hands/kissing a little bit. And then later in the week we had dinner together and went to the bookstore and again kissed/held hands/touched. Then again we stopped talking for a few days.

 

When we started talking again he offered to take me to a movie and we met after work and saw a movie/ went to dinner/went shopping. And afterwards we ended up making out in my car. He is a transfer student to UCLA and this was about a week before he was due to move out. He said he wanted to see me again before he left. So he texted me in the middle of the week that he was having a going away BBQ for his friends and family and if i wanted to come. So of course i said yes.

 

I had a great time seeing his family again and they welcomed me with open arms saying how much they missed me. So after the BBQ I was the dd and we went to his friends birthday party at a hotel. At the party he got drunk and I had a wonderful time, even sober. We held hands and he let me lay against him and we had fun with his friends. (though at one point someone called me his girlfriend and he took no hesitance in informing the man I was not his girlfriend) Then we went back to his place and I was offered to stay the night there because it had started pouring and I live 20 minutes away. So I spent the night and we ended up hooking up. I had an amazing time and so did he. The next day I helped him and his family pack him for UCLA and It was wonderful. It was just like old times. being a part of his life again, hanging out with his family and friends. And i started crying when I had to leave and said i would miss him and he said not to worry we could still talk online and on the phone and that LA is only 30 miles away and I could go visit him.

 

Ever since he left I can't stop thinking of him. I still love him, I always have. But its worse now than ever. I am depressed not being with him. I just want to get back together so bad. Is there any hope at all??? Have any of you been in a similar situation??

[Aintayankee]

Ya, just keep up. I heard of that stuff in highschool. Like it would end, then the girl would say, ya, but I'm gonna get him back. And they persisted and kept up contact. It seems in vain, and would never work the other way around for a guy. But you might have a chance, I dunno. It is gonna be painful, but who knows what will happen, we arent psychic.

[been7077]

While it's true nobody knows the future, I got myself into a situation where someone I dated and really cared about kept leaving to be with someone else. It was her pattern from the get go. I was kind of a safe harbour or Rescue 911. Don't become this to this man.

 

Everything was on her schedule. The last time this happened, just last week, she left from my house to go look for a house herself. I said let me know how it goes. She never called. I called a number of times; no response. No response to text messages, nothing.

 

Though I love her and always will I have been made to understand that it is a one way street. I will never had my needs met by her. She will keep running back to the very same guys she complains to me about. I told her that I can't be her friend, not that way, and not to come around if that's what she wants, because, stupid me, I might get the wrong idea.

 

A couple of days ago I showed up at her work (totally out of character for me) and have her back some things she had left here as long as two years ago, along with a special gift she had given me once when things were tighter. She hugged me and meant it, and announced that I was an "ex-boyfriend". This was never true, and I told her co-workers that we never got to that point. I left right after, and wished her a "good life".

 

I mean it too. Have a good life, but don't play games with me anymore.

I was mean and burnt a bridge, but the bridge didn't lead to me anyway.

 

So what I'm trying to say is that you can only invest so much time and emotion, and you will have to understand that, after a fair amount of time, it will either go your way or won't.

 

Sometimes we love and it's not returned. It dosen't mean we haven't loved, and that's the important thing. We can do it again, no?