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My ex and I made a BIG BIG mistake... fixable?


trendyaznchica

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trendyaznchica

Longtime friend, dated twice, once in high school, and once in college for six months, didn't speak in between the two times we dated, still in college, broke up a few weeks ago. He was nice to me right after we broke up but then shut off to me after the first few days by not calling me back, mostly.

 

Anyway, so this past weekend, I broke my vow of NC (a terrible habit of mine) and contacted my ex just to say hi. After some petty small talk, he invited me out to a party with him. We didn't end up going to the party, we just took a walk, basically. At the end of the night, we get to our apartment complex, where we reached his place first. Long story short, we ended up hooking up for the first time since we broke up. I was sober and asked him if he would regret it, to which he answered that he wasn't drunk, which he wasn't. Tipsy or slightly drunk, but able to remember things and not out of control.

 

I'm wondering what this means to him, and maybe it means nothing. But I know that since we broke up, he hasn't been with anyone else. The next two nights after this, he went back to being friendly, but I could sense the effort it took for him not to be physical with me because he did slip sometimes. We had dinner together, which was supposed to be the time when we talked about us, but the talking part didn't happen.

 

Us talking is usually me talking at him, and I told him, after we hooked up, that I know we haven't been on the same page for a long time, that I just wanted us to be on the same page or at least know where the other stands, and that I wouldn't push him to say anything until he was ready. I have been hearing things from other people that tells me that he has talked about me, so he's obviously been thinking about the relationship and about me. Will he ever open up to me? Do I just need to give him more time? Or is this friendship, with words left unsaid to me, all that I'll ever get from him?

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trendyaznchica

Thoughts, anyone? My friends and I have discussed this at length, and I feel that, after a terrible relationship in the past (between the two times I dated this guy), I can read a lot of guys. College guys really aren't that difficult to decipher. But I cannot for the life of me figure out this one, my best guy friend in high school, the one "friend" who has literally watched me grow up since grade school. He knows the most about me out of everyone who knows me. I know the most about him, he says, and I understand him on a superficial level, but I am just not getting him right now.

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