He cheated, I stayed but now I want out

[Cheena]

Here is my situation, several years ago my husband cheated. He was very blatant with it and it had gotten to the point that people called my house asking for his wife and used the name of the other person. After I confronted them, to my knowledge it had ended. This was 3 years ago, during the aftermath I decided a baby would be the end and answer. In ways she ways because during my pregnancy he was so wonderful, when the baby was born I met a friend. Truly that is what he is, being friends with him , I laughed, I had fun, I could talk, I didn't realize how much I was on automatic since my husband had cheated. One day last year just by accident, I found out my husband was still communicating with this person and that they where still seeing each other after all these years. Devastated is not the word to describe my feelings, here I was, I stayed, I gave up myself, I did whatever I had to do to make him happy. He didn't have to work on winning me back because I threw myself at him so he wouldn't leave me. The reality of it all was mind blowing, but I stayed, I stayed because I said to myself that I would be gone before 10 years. Well 10 years is approaching and after all I worked for, I don't want it anymore. We have kids and I am afraid of the what will happen as far as the kids go but I can't be here. I don't trust him and quite frankly I am not in love with him. I haven't been since the incident, I didn't know it because I was so hurt, he has crushed me twice and I know I don't want to wait for a third time. I just needed to say this out loud, tell it to someone.

 

I know I need therapy, a good therapist, but for now does anyone have any suggestions, opinions, just input?

[norajane]

I'm sorry you're going through this betrayal again. This time you at least know you're not in love with him and don't have to fight the pain to try to accept it.

 

I'd say in addition to a therapist, make sure you consult a good divorce lawyer and understand what your rights are and what to expect as far as the children and child support. That can help you in feeling more comfortable with the decision you've made to leave.

 

Good luck to you.