ex problem?

[NothingMan85]

I guess my last post was way to long and no one wanted to read it. I guess i just needed to vent. Here is a more direct post. (Skip to the last paragraph is this is still to long.)

 

I (22) dated this girl Jess (20) for about 6 months we broke up b/c i went to college. We still both liked each other but felt we needed to experience different things. I had multiple opportunities over my 4 years of college to get her back, but there was always something in the way. Everytime we see each other we are always flirting with one another.

 

Last summer I heard she had a new b/f and the next time I saw her it seemed like she was testing me. To see if I still liked her. I did, but I dont think she saw it. I think after that she gave up on me and has now, a year later, has become very serious with this guy. I saw her last night said "Hi" and avoided her the rest of the night b/c i didnt wan to do anything id regret.

 

I guess my question is- How do I let her know that I am still an option? I kinda want to make her to make a decision between me and this other guy. I dont think she sees me as an option anymore and I want to let her know that I am and not make an ass out of myself.

[hope4best]

It's been a while, and you said she is getting serious with this new guy that she has been seeing for about a year. If you don't mind me asking, why now? If she is happy let her be, sorry.

[NothingMan85]

The answer for "why now?" Is b/c i always thought we would get back together and it that it would just happen. Ive realized that its not just going to happen and that i need to put myself out there.

 

And I do want her to be happy and if its with this other guy than ill have to accept it. I dont think she sees me as an option anymore and I want her to know that she has the CHOICE.

 

What if she is with this guy b/c she thinks that im over her? I want her to have the option.

[corazoncito]

I guess my question is- How do I let her know that I am still an option? I kinda want to make her to make a decision between me and this other guy. I dont think she sees me as an option anymore and I want to let her know that I am and not make an ass out of myself.

 

If she's serious about her boyfriend, as you said, then you're not an option to her, even if you really want to date her. She's already made a decision, to be with the other guy. I'm not saying that to be snappy or rude. It's just that both of you are really young and there are a lot of other people to date and get to know out there. Don't lose time waiting for her.

 

I know it's tempting to think that someone isn't with you because you haven't given them the right "signals" and as soon as you do they'll have a a "lightbulb" moment and get together with you. But the truth is relationships are two-way streets and if she were really interested in dating you, she'd have pursued you and wouldn't have a year under her belt with her boyfriend.

[NothingMan85]

I am not gonna lose time waiting for her. I just think that if i dont at least take a chance now than ill be kicking myself later.

 

And its not like she has really had the chance to pursue me after we broke up. The summer going into my JR we worked together and we flirted like crazy. The reason i didnt make a move than was b/c i was seeing someone else and wanted to give the relationship a chance. This was stupid of me b.c i knew it wouldnt work. I than went abroad for 6 months and when I got back I was told she was seeing someone. We saw each other a few times and she never mentioned that she had a b/f and was flirting with me. I think she was testing me and I failed. A year later and they are serious.

 

Lastly, she is very quiet and subtle in the way she acts. So she wouldnt be hitting on me like crazy.