loveinlife Posted July 26, 2007 Share Posted July 26, 2007 just curious. =) Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted July 26, 2007 Share Posted July 26, 2007 in a way yes, but not full time like before... We have moved on. We got together about 1 1/2 yr after our separation... He had a gf.. I was single, still am.. He is getting married this Saturday.... I talked to him 2 days ago... I know I'll see him again, I haven't been with him for over 8 months now... I guess he wanted to become a 'good husband' but I know he cheated while he was with her before the marriage, so I can only imagine he will cheat again. I know him... I know he will. I never wanted him back in my life... I left him, the first time, in May... he met this girl, who was my daugther's age, (he was 12 yrs younger than me)... then he called me in Nov. to 'try again' we tried a second time... I left after 3 weeks... he got back with this girl again... she took him back... then about 1 1/2 yr later... he called me again... to see me on occasions.. we did and we're still very good friends. He's marrying her this Saturday. I know he will be happy with her... they love each other to pieces. Link to post Share on other sites
Author loveinlife Posted July 26, 2007 Author Share Posted July 26, 2007 oops i title mistake.... suppose to go like have you done nc and gotten back with your ex. thanks for sharing your story lizzie =) guess you knew what i meant for this thread Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted July 26, 2007 Share Posted July 26, 2007 NC might help them regenerate interest in you, but if you're the same person they left, their interest will be short lived. That's why when you decide to implement NC, the first thing you need to do is work on improving yourself and fixing areas of your personality that contributed to the demise of the relationship. Not to get your ex back but to make you more appealing to the next person who comes into your life. The less time you focus on getting your ex back and the more time you focus on making yourself happier, healthier and enjoying life, the better the odds are the ex will come sniffing around. And if you have truly improved, you won't want them back anyway. Cheers. Link to post Share on other sites
frd150 Posted July 26, 2007 Share Posted July 26, 2007 Cali is right. My ex has from what i hear dated a bit but has not had any luck. I had not seen her in three months until this past weekend when she showed up at my house. She did quite a bit of "sniffing around". Link to post Share on other sites
Author loveinlife Posted July 26, 2007 Author Share Posted July 26, 2007 Very nice! I agree with you guys, cali and frd. Makes a lot of sense. i am trying to improve my life at the moment. So far, the only thing on my mind is trying to make progress, like finding a career. I've lost the sense of self after done with college and losing something so precious as my ex, the one i gave everything to. Thanks for giving me examples and showing some light. Link to post Share on other sites
NightsInWhiteSatin Posted July 26, 2007 Share Posted July 26, 2007 I sort of got my ex back, after a year...but really i hadn't he just led me to believe we were together...until we'd been having sex a while and then i sat him down to tell him that things have to be different this time...then suddenly he was confused....and suddenly it was all wrong...and he didnt know what he wanted....but he'd had it all already. Just becareful...very easy to slip backwards. Link to post Share on other sites
Ashbash11 Posted July 27, 2007 Share Posted July 27, 2007 Like NightsInWhiteSatin says, BE CAREFUL! I also "sort of" got my ex back after 2 years, although it was as some weird "friends with benefits" faux relationship. We were more than just FWB, because he started acting like a boyfriend toward me again, (aka: being very affectionate, putting his arm around me, calling me every night.. etc) But then when I asked him about our "relationship," he told me that I am just a "friend" and he doesn't want anything more. He still believes we are totally wrong for each other, and he wants to date others. This is why you shouldn't try to get your ex back. Just leave things be. They are an ex for a reason! Link to post Share on other sites
vanButterfly Posted July 27, 2007 Share Posted July 27, 2007 Yes... and I remember reading these forums..and one piece of advice: 'remember WHY you broke up in the first place'. It's been a year since then, and we got back together and improved considerably..but if your issues are too fundamental, you will have issues for a long long time.. and we still do. Now I am wondering if I made a mistake at all to want to be back in the relationship... 1. Is it REALLY worth it 2. WHY do you want to be with this person 3. Has anything changed since you broke up 4. Where will you draw a line in the sand and say YES, this relationship is REALLY over and we have BOTH tried our best? Teacher comes when the student is ready.. I think I have flogged this relationship enough and it's time to leave... Think carefully about what you want. About No contact... sure..do this if you want your relationship to disappear off the face of the earth. Saying that, 2 years later after a relationship he appreciated me and still loved me. I had unfortunately moved on. I dont believe in no contact..but definately: 1. Limit the contact 2. BE HAPPY when you DO speak to them ***** I can't emphasise this enough**** 3. Stay in contact 4. Dont reveal your life. If they ask - say, but otherwise, keep it to yoruself and reveal little 5. Go out and do new things to get your confidence back. Link to post Share on other sites
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